Ushering in 2006.

this is the last day of 2005. what a year ... i guess all in all - the year has been OK. fair share of ups and downs. i shan't go into it. i don't feel like it. but i shall quote today's Calvin & Hobbes strip that i read...it pretty much sums up my feeling for ushering in 2006...

Hobbes: Are you making any resolutions for the New Year?

Calvin: Yeah, I'm resolving to just wing it and see what happens.

Hobbes: So you're staying the course?

Calvin: I stick to my strengths.

yep. that pretty much sums it up for me. *Grin.

Happy New Year y'all!

i'm out.

the commonjack.

Julius Caesar Highlights.

ok, i know i promised a day by day posting regarding each performance as they came. however, obviously that didn't happen. the primary reason for this is that the shows took more out of me than i thought as it wore on ... and as such - here i am.

honestly speaking - i might be able to give a day by day analysis of each show but i won't. simply because then this entry will be a lot longer than necessary and also because - You (*my dear readers) probably wouldn't give a shit about all the little details i'd be obliged to express in such an analysis right? :)

as such, i will now attempt to give you HIGHLIGHTS of the show - as i remember them ...

*note: this is my account of what i was aware happened during the staging of Julius Caesar (2005) ... and therefore it may not be absolutely accurate and i apologise beforehand should there be any inconsistencies with what actually took place ...

X

HIGHLIGHTS ...

1. the Patrick Teoh 'moment'.

if i am not mistaken, the moment happened on Day 4 of the staging ... on a Tuesday. we had a break on Monday and came back.

what basically happened is that in one of the opening scenes between Cassius (Patrick) and Brutus (Ari) - Patrick forgot his lines in one of Cassius' long speeches and got completely stuck. there was at least 30 seconds of silence on stage. Patrick looked at Ari and Ari looked back at Patrick and they continued looking at each other.

*it is said that such black outs are known to happen to every actor at some point in time ... the best an actor can do is hope that he / she finds a way out by saying something else (similar) to what he / she is supposed to say and get on with the scene ... ie do some impromptu work lah ... but this would be tricky to do in a Shakespearean play (at least - i think so!)

it was a scary moment. it took a while before it sunk in with us back stage that Patrick, of all people, could forget his lines! you could see some of us backstage, hands clasped together, eyes closed and mouths mouthing the lines ... hoping that somehow Patrick would telephatically pick up the signal. Colin (who played Decius) was jumping at the side of the backstage trying to signal to Patrick what the next line was ... (ie, "He hath a fever when he was in Spain ..."), putting his hand on his forehead.

but of course, all this was to no avail for it was impossible for Patrick to hear any of us and with all the lights, it would be impossible for Patrick to see us backstage either.

so, the situation was finally resolved when the sound guys cued in a sound cue (which was supposed to come in after Patrick finished his lines) earlier so that Ari could pick up with his own lines. and then the play continued as usual.

of course the people watching the play all thought it was either the fault of the sound guys or Ari's. nobody thought it was Patrick! haha. funny how things work out.

so that was the Patrick Teoh *moment. :)

2. no difference if Julius Caesar is dead or alive!

i believe this happened on opening night. Brutus goes into the pulpit after the murder of Julius Caesar. he addresses the Roman public of why he, who loved Caesar as he stabbed him, did so. there is a part in his speech where he is supposed to say,

"Had you rather Caesar were living and die all as slaves, than that Caesar were dead, to live all free men? ..."

and he actually slipped and said, "Had you rather Caesar be dead and live all as slaves, than that Caesar were dead, to live all free men? ..." lol.

from what i heard, not many people actually noticed this. i thought it was hilarious though. *Grin.

3. the laughter in the audience.

there was one show in particular where a known local theater personality came to watch - and although i didn't see it myself (i only heard laughter coming from the audience) - i was told later that it was indeed the person in question who laughed out loud disrupting the *feel of the show.

you may be wondering why would this seem to be a bad thing? well, reason being, the laughter came at serious moments of the play and the laugh sounded more *malicious (as if scoffing at the performance) rather than laughter in appreciation of the play. (although i could be wrong ...)

further, it seemed that the person in question walked in and out of the theater several times during the show and the person did not seem to do so in a discreet fashion.

i must say that i did not see any of this happen as i was mostly backstage and even when i was out on stage, i didn't look out to the audience enough to notice such things.

i know not why this person behaved in such a manner for i remember meeting this person on several occasions when this person used to come to my school's theater club and conduct free workshops. this person would even recognise me if i were to bump into this person on the street and almost never fails to say "hi" or at least give a friendly nod of acknowledgement. i am therefore quite puzzled as to this person's behaviour during that particular performance.

*sigh. i guess it is one of those things that i'll never know about.

4. my shuffling feet and my soft voice.

a constant criticism i received most of the time before most of the shows was my volume during performance. during sound check, my voice would ring through loud and clear but according to the sound guys and joe and even faridah - my volume seemed to be lacking during performance!

fortunately not severely so...but there was a relatively marked difference between my own volume and the others i shared my speaking scenes with ... such as Brutus (Ari Ratos) and Portia (Samantha Schubert).

it troubles me for i've never had problems in terms of projection. i did manage to raise my levels as the shows progressed. i hope i don't encounter such problems again in future productions.

another problem i thought i was done with is my own personal trait that i've had ever since i was a small boy. i shuffle my feet and i look as if i am constantly moving even when i *Think i am standing still! even my first theater teacher (Ms Sukania) saw this in me way back then and every peformance i did for her, she had to constantly remind me to remind myself NOT TO MOVE! lol. (it's not immediately obvious, but because of my restless nature, i tend to shift my weight from one foot to the next even when i have to stand still...*grin.)

the rest of the cast all had their own little quirks and it looked as if i was going to be spared from *teasing since my role was relatively small and i didn't have much stage time to be teased about. however, towards the end of the production - i "kena" also lah. Gavin (who plays Marc Anthony) was the 1st to bring it up and everyone else keenly agreed that i did indeed have that habit. *sigh ... oh well ... guess i couldn't escape it.

X

there are more 'Highlights' - i could go on and on ... but i guess this should be enough for this entry.

needless to say, this has been truly a great experience for me. to be able to act in a production with names i used to only ever read about - and never thought that i'd ever get a chance to be with on the same stage ... much less even perhaps label such people: acquaintances or friends even! ... i guess you *could go so far as to say ... it's like a dream come true.

but i wouldn't really say that ... i aim for greater heights. where that is exactly? good question. i'll tell you when i get there. *Grin.

for those of you - dear friends, who'd like to know more about my great experience, give me a ring, buy me a cup of coffee and we can catch up. for the rest of you ... i guess, some things you'll just never know about me. haha.

signing off, the commonjack.

p/s: click on the link below to read what other people thought about the play.

http://www.kakiseni.com/events/theatre/NzY4Mw.html

out of sorts.

wow. i did something this morning that i've never done before.

i totally, completely, utterly forgot the fact that i had a class to teach this morning. my mind is all over the place. i can't focus. the weight of pressure i feel from the fact that i have more than i'd like to catch up with in terms of studies has been weighing heavily on my mind since "Julius Caesar" came to an end ... and i think that pressure has finally taken its toll on me. my brain crashed.

in fact, if my manager didn't text me and asked me about class this morning - i would have been completely oblivious of the fact that i had a class to teach this morning. after he called me, i immediately called my Boss - who was obviously not very pleased to hear about the news.

i f**ked up. no excuses.



it has never happened to me before ... brain crashing on me. and i think i should have seen it coming since monday (the day after my last show). today's show of utter irresponsibility just serves as a bloody *kick in the freakin' head.

gotta shape up. gotta get back into the flow of things. don't panic.

i'm actually still feeling very shell shocked at myself. damn...i don't even know what to say anymore.

i'm out.

signing off ... the lost commonjack.

back to real life.

the fantasy is over. now i'm headed back to real life.

being a part of Julius Caesar has been an experience that i'll have with me for a looooooong time.

i know i haven't been updating daily as promised but i shall come up with a summary on the performances i didn't write about soon. until then...

for those of you who came to watch - thank you so much. it really does mean a lot to me that you showed up.

for those of you who didn't - well, hopefully you'll get another chance to catch me in action in the near future.

signing off, the commonjack.

Day 3.

Show number 3: Dec 4th, Sunday - 3pm matinee.

call time today was at 12.30pm. i woke up at about 10.30 am. i had brunch and i was good to go. met up with Calvyn at his place at 11.40am and he drove. picked Roshan up afterwards and we were on our way. Colin didn't join the car-pool today.

we arrived at KLPAc by 12.15pm ish. then all us started up with personal warm-ups just as we did yesterday. after a while, we all got together and did some exercises together.

for those of you not in the know ... the group warm-up sessions serves as a good indicator to how well the actors are in *tune with each other (the more in tune with each other we are - chances are - the better the performance). however, for some reason, the group exercises weren't played as well as normal and the whole *energy / feel was kinda iffy. Joe immediately spotted this and after allowing us some time to attempt a *retuning - Joe headed up an exercise for all of us to follow. after which, things still felt a little *off but we were a bit more centered as a group after doing Joe's exercises methinks.

then all of us sat down to get last nights notes. in a nutshell, Joe told us that he believed last night's performance to be one of our best ever. see, our last Full Dress Rehearsal we had last Thursday night was a very good performance ... everything worked, from the actors to the lighting and the sound cues. so the Thursday night Full Dress was our bench mark to beat. and last night we beat it. as i said in the last entry, i felt good about that performance and i was absolutely right to think so.

so, the challenge all of us faced today ... was to repeat the same standard or do even better! talk about pressure man ...

personally speaking, i thought i did well today as well. although, just as our warm-ups ... the energy / feel felt iffy. it felt "up & down" to me - but fortunately - possibly more ups than downs lah.

and i noticed that not many people came today. i heard that it was a small audience (less than 120 people) as opposed to opening night (350 odd ++), 2nd night (i believe was close to 200, perhaps more) ...

although, at the end of it, before leaving, Joe said that he thought we did well today ... but he didn't elaborate further.

tomorrow, there is no show slated. we get the day off. and we begin again on Tuesday and continue every night till Saturday and one more matinee on Sunday. so, i guess i'll have to wait till Tuesday to hear Joe's notes about today's performance.

a bit of good news is that Tuesday night and next Sunday's matinee show is sold out already! cool...

ok lah - that's it for now. later.

the commonjack.

Day 2.

Show number 2: Dec 3th, Saturday night - 8.30pm

my family came to watch tonight.

once again, the day started innocently enough. i woke up at around 11 ish am. i bummed around a bit. had lunch. in the afternoon, at 2.30 pm - i decided to go work out (kickboxing) a bit. looking to rid myself of some of the opening night's jitters. and i believe it worked. i felt a lot more relaxed after kickboxing.

after kickboxing - i went to pick Roshan up. had a quick drink with him and as usual went to Calvyn's house where we met Colin as well. the Saturday traffic was very mild and as such we got to KLPAc at about 5.35 pm ... and since we only left Calvyn's house at 5.15 pm - that was good time. met up with the rest of the cast. joked about for a bit. then at 6 pm, we all started with our own personal warm-ups first. then we got together and did many physical warm ups together and together we also did a vocal warm up with Joe. the opening night jitters were not really there anymore. things felt more comfortable.

after the warm ups - Joe sat us all down and we received his 'notes' from last night's performance. as i expected, we were told that we put up an overall good performance the night before. but of course, we all know that we are capable of doing a whole lot better. Joe shared with each of us what he thought we lacked in particular scenes and how we can remedy the shortcomings from the night before.

taking in everything he said, i believe that we put a much stronger show tonight as compared to the night before. personally speaking, i felt that i did a whole lot better than yesterday - so i'm quite happy. some quirks here and there ... very subtle quirks that i of course hope to remedy. i was basically told that my character came across very lethargic the night before ... as opposed to a more energetic interpretation of the character as how i normally play it. so i believe that i managed to slip back into my energetic self tonight and am quite happy.

however, i felt i lacked a little in terms of being more sure of my body language - which is my next goal to remedy.

in fact, i felt everybody gave very strong performances tonight. the heated scene between Brutus (Ari Ratos) and Cassius (Patrick Teoh) close to the end was exceptionally stronger tonight - in my opinion ... well - as i said earlier lah - i felt we put on a better show tonight. and hopefully the curve continues along those lines...

i feel good tonight. and my family liked the play. i'm not sure what my Father thought of it. he is known to sleep through all my other plays. he didn't really say much about the play except that he thought that nobody in the cast sounded M'sian (said in a very neutral manner - so not sure if he meant it in a bad way or a good way) ... except for me ... apparently i sounded very M'sian. (i honestly don't know what to make of that comment).

anyway, it felt good tonight. i look forward to hearing Joe's notes tomorrow about our performance.

that's it for now. g'night y'all.

The Day.

Show number 1: Dec 2th, Friday night - 8.30pm

well, the opening night of JULIUS CAESAR has now come to pass. and what a night.

it started innocently enough. didn't have any nightmares about tripping over lines and etc. had sound sleep. and woke up at 10.15 am on the dot. went for lunch with some good 'ole form 6 friends since one of 'em is leaving the country for a year or so. came back home. bummed around - watched a little tv, jammed with my guitar for a bit ... and come 4 pm, i left to pick up a fellow actor, Roshan. had a drink at sentosa mamak stalls - then met up with Colin and Calvyn at the latter's house at 5.15 pm.

the 4 of us are taking turns to drive and car-pooling for the duration of the play.

call time at KLPAc is 6 pm. we managed to get there just in time. the whole cast then did a warm up session together. and then all of us got into costumes and got *mic'd up (the mics aren't at full level and the actors still need to fully project their voices in order to be heard). once mic'd up - we went through sound checks with the sound guys.

then we got our notes from our director, Joe.

this was then followed by a period of silence. all the actors kinda went their own way ... preparing for their own role. nobody spoke to each other. and this went on for about 3o minutes or so (but it felt a whole lot longer!).

most of the day, i was quite relaxed and calm - more than i thought i should be in fact. but when it came to those last few moments - my heart was racing and my palms became sweaty. the butterflies finally hit me. and this was evident right from the get-go for even in the opening scene, which is a scene in which i do almost nothing - my heart felt like it was beating its way right out of my chest!

my first entrance to my speaking scene was not executed as well i as hoped. the moment i walked off stage from that 1st entrance, i immediately knew myself that i was not projecting my voice enough. and i found this out later to be true. i consciously raised my level for my next few entrances but apparently, i was still not as loud as i could have been. i hope to remedy this for my next few shows.

also, my final scene, in which i rush on to the stage and witness my Lord Brutus about to kill himself. it basically goes like this, i rush on to the stage and Brutus and i share a *look, i realise what he's about to do, i get down on one knee and kiss his hand (wielding the dagger he is going to use) as a farewell gesture and i run off the stage again.

i f**ked up by taking too much time with the *look ... aih...

anyway, joe did not give us any notes about the show that night. for it was followed by a post opening night reception with lots of wine, whiskey, a little beer and some nuts and crackers. met a lot of the local theater/tv personalities ... Ben Tan, Nell Ng, Afdlin Shauki ... i didn't really talk much. i'm really lousy at these sort of social stuff ... i end up just standing by myself in some corner most of the time. once in a while, somebody calls to me and i sit with them - but still don't say much.

oh well, maybe i'll get used to these sort of things ... eventually. :)

Ok lah - that's more or less my 1st night. overall, i believe it was a good night. and the performance was of a relatively high standard. and i guess that is what counts.

rights ... will add on more if anything else comes to mind.

later ... the commonjack.

the day is tomorrow.

by my watch, it is now 2.45 am, Dec 1st - Thursday. that means, Julius Caesar will open tomorrow night. i don't think it's hit me yet - the fact that i am going to be in this major play.

it all feels rather subdued, since i am quite possibly the only person who's really excited about it. but i suppose that's the person who counts. if i'm not excited about what i'm doing - then who will be right?

anyway, in the spirit of things - i'll try and write about each show as they come. more so for self indulgence than anything else ... :)