Frankenstein In Love (FiL)'s TVC.

Well...time has really flown right by. Not too long ago, I was still worrying about whether I got through my Final Law Exams. I was scared shitless at the prospect of failing and having to do the whole year again. On top of that, I was worried about my future. What was I going to do with the rest of my life?

In such a short span of time, my life has taken on a new form. It's a little unnerving and exciting at the same time.

"La di da" right? Everyone goes through this sort of thing at some point or another. So I shan't ramble on about something I'll probably ramble about some day when I actually have time to sit down and ramble. *Grin.

FiL update:

Frankenstein in Love TVC

We open on the 27th of this month. Talk about time flying by! This is a scary ass play. And I don't mean that in a sense that it is a horror play.

FiL is so freakin' cool on so many levels and yet it is a play that can bite at the actors if it is not performed well. It has become so apparent to me (and the whole cast), especially so in this last leg approaching opening night - that the level of focus and commitment required for every role in this play and in evert scene of both ACT 1 and ACT 2 - is so demanding that a single person losing focus is enough to bring down the energy of the entire cast! I've seen it happen in rehearsals - and that scares the shit out of me.

It's amazing how on one night - the play can be so riveting that I can hardly move when I'm watching the play (when I'm not involved in the scene lah that is) and yet on some nights, the play can be a painful thing to watch.

Anyway, I won't go into the intricacies of why this is so right now. Suffice to say, getting a big role in a play of this nature is certainly a double edged sword. But the bottom line is the same I suppose, I'll either suck big time or I'll be bloody brilliant!

Ok, that's it for now. Visit frankenstein-in-love.blogspot.com for more on the play. Or refer to my previous post Frankenstein in Love (FiL).

Once again, for those of you who are coming to watch the play, drop me a sms when you're there, I'll make a conscious effort to come out and see you guys for coming!

Sparring philosophy.

its now 2.45 am (Thurs).

last night, i worked at TNT and decided to stay back and train with our Head Instructor (Khoo) and the rest of his buddies who are seasoned local (and some national level) fighters. it seems that they are training for a local 'muay thai' tournament and were really going at it during training.

Khoo asked me whether i wanted to spar as well. i hesitated for a moment because i am recovering from an injury on my right shin. that takes away one of my main weapons (my Roundhouse kick) but i ended up saying 'yes' anyway. i've developed a real taste for sparring since the beginning of this year. i was careful about it though. i put on a groin guard, head gear and mouth piece as is the practice. and i of course put on 'shin-pads' and put an extra layer on my right shin since it was still bruised.

then i went to the hardest punching bag in the gym and start roundhousing it. when i stopped, my leg felt fine. there was a *little pain but it was endurable. and i was set.

the plan was, the 3 guys who were taking part in the tournament were going to stay in the ring for 5 rounds each. 4 people would be in the ring, as if there are 2 separate fights going on at the same time.

3 main guys: Khoo, Alex and Kumar.
3 punching dummies: Myself, Carl and Leong.

each round lasted 3 mins and the break in between is 30 secs.

1st round: Khoo Vs Alex / Kumar Vs Leong
2nd round: Khoo Vs Me / Alex Vs Carl
3rd round: Khoo Vs Leong / Kumar Vs Alex
4th round: Khoo Vs Alex / Kumar Vs Me
5th round: Khoo Vs Carl / Kumar Vs Leong

something like that lah ... i know for sure that i fought 2 rounds - one against Khoo and another against Kumar.

i thought i was alright - not that good but OK. clearly they were holding back a little on me. i took quite a few shots, kicks and punches to the body, back and head but nothing that knocked me out. so i stood my ground and got in a few nice combinations and some spinning backfists here and there.

i was feeling a little dejected once all the sparring was done. Khoo then said, "Your backfist very strong now...(bla bla) ... you can fight now you know ... but you must learn to get hit - take it then counter ... you're quite good already but you still cannot take hits properly ... (bla bla) ... you must have it in your mind that you want to fight! Then you can take hits and hit back properly!"

in one fell swoop - he pegged one of the flaws of my own character.

the reason i can't take hits properly is because i'm scared. i do so many things in life and people think, 'There goes a guy who's willing to try stuff' - when actually i have to psyche myself so much to do something sometimes, i think its actually rather silly.

and after all the psyching up - i go up and end up not putting on everything i know i *could put into whatever it is i'm doing. i generally walk away satisfied because i know i've achieved something that i wanted to do - but then again, there's always a nagging feeling inside thats telling me, 'Dude, you know you could have done more.'

so the way i approach my opponents in the ring while i spar - is almost akin to the way i approach life.

i'm not too bad. i can hold my own. i know what i should do. and i don't get knocked out anymore. i have the skills.

i just need the balls to go all the way all the time maybe?

so there, 'Sparring philosophy 101'.

then again, maybe its just my mind going on overdrive. *grin.

i'm out.
p/s: come watch FiL!! and read the production blog - (click here to get to FiL production blog) - i just added something about my rehearsal experience.

Frankenstein In Love (FiL)

Tickets are now available for purchasing!!

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once again, i am advertising my play! below is the poster ...

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if you have yet to read about what the whole play about - read below ...
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Executive Producer: Dato' Faridah Merican
Artistic Director: Joe Hasham
Playwright: Clive Barker

Director: Gavin Yap
Cast: Rashid Salleh, Mary George, Melissa Maureen, Michael Chen, Patrick Teoh, Douglas Lim, U-En Ng, Rauf Fadzilla, Ari Ratos, Reuben Arthur, Bharani and Kennie Dowle

Inspired by Mary Shelly's classic horror story, Frankenstein in Love is acclaimed horror writer Clive Barker's updated interpretation of the terrifying tale.

It is the last few days of the world. Human life has become meaningless as mass genocide and sickness spread throughout the land. Revolutionaries loot and pillage for answers, the faithless betray the faithful, the dead refuse to die and one name stands out amidst the screams...Frankenstein.

A sprawling collection of variations on the idea of human vivisection and reconstruction set in a grim, Gothic world of putrefaction. An unlikely place for love to emerge...but it does, forming a bizarre, tragic love triangle between the creator and his creations.

For more information, log on to the production diary: http://www.frankenstein-in-love.blogspot.com.

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OR related posts:

"WORK & THEATRE"

"Life as a Graduate"

"Updates on FiL"

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TICKET PRICES AND DETAILS + other Promos ...

SPECIAL YEAR END PROMOTION!
- Frankenstein in Love (27 October to 3 November 2006)
- The Odd Couple (6 November to 12 November 2006)
- Broken Bridges (15 December to 24 December 2006)

Purchase tickets for any two of the above shows and get 20% OFF total ticket price
Purchase tickets for all three of the above shows and get 30% OFF total ticket price
Terms & conditions apply.
Call our box office - 4047 9000 (KLPac) & 2094 9400 (TAS@BSC) to find out more!

Price : RM60, RM50 and RM40 (students, disabled and senior citizens).

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SHOWTIMES:

27 October 2006 (Friday) 08:30 PM

28 October 2006 (Saturday) 08:30 PM

29 October 2006 (Sunday) 03:00 PM

31 October 2006 (Tuesday) 08:30 PM

1 November 2006 (Wednesday) 08:30 PM

2 November 2006 (Thursday) 08:30 PM

3 November 2006 (Friday) 08:30 PM

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well, the info in this post should be adequate to answer any questions about general details about the play. stay tuned to this site for my own personal updates on how rehearsals have been for me and visit the production blog: http://www.frankenstein-in-love.blogspot.com/ : to check out 'BEHIND the SCENES' stuff.

purchase your tickets and send me a text if you are coming - i promise i'll come out after the show to "THANK YOU" for coming to watch the show! (Just be patient when waiting outside lah - cause got make up to remove and all one ... *grin*)

and just in case - here's a map to KLPac:
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p/s: my girlfriend (Anrie) is also putting on a show - refer to "16 Girls, 1 Night" to find out more! it's on before FiL, so check it out soon!

Guilt.

Here are some exerps lifted from Wikipedia:

Guilt is primarily an emotion experienced by people who believe they have done something wrong. From a legal perspective it can also refer to the condition of having done something legally wrong, regardless of how one feels about it.

Some thinkers have theorized that guilt is used as a tool of social control. Since guilty people feel they are undeserving, they are less likely to assert their rights and prerogatives. Thus, those in power seek to cultivate a sense of guilt among the populace, in order to make them more tractable.

Guilt can sometimes be remedied by punishment (a common action and advised or required in many legal and moral codes), by forgiveness (as in transformative justice), or by sincere remorse (as with confession in Catholicism or restorative justice).

Psychopaths typically exhibit a "lack of remorse or guilt" in the face of wrongdoing. This is seen by psychologists as part of a lack of moral reasoning in comparison with the majority of humans, an inability to evaluate situations in a moral framework and an inability to develop emotional bonds with other people.

thats enough from Wikipedia.

i believe guilt can be mirror'd with pain.

if you didn't feel pain (as in physical pain), you wouldn't know when to take your hand out of the fire. and you'll probably just burn to death.

guilt keeps you human. it keeps you grounded. it could even be seen as a tool for survival (you can't just keep fucking people over - eventually, all the shit catches up with you).

it reminds you to think twice before doing something. the evident difference from the reference i make to pain - is that chances are, you'll get burned first - before guilt comes in. as opposed to 'pain' which hits more directly and is more immediate in nature.

bearing that in mind, most of the time, i know guilt will be an inevitable consequence of some of my actions at times. does that necessarily mean i did the wrong thing? haven't you ever been in a situation where doing the right thing will most definitely lead to guilt?

this beckons to mind a phrase i lifted off someplace - "sometimes you win only to lose and sometimes you lose - so that you can win."

it is without a doubt that i carry within me a certain amount of weight that is made up entirely of guilt. to say that i am proud of that baggage would be wrong. however, to say that i regret having made those decisions would be equally, if not even more, wrong.

i've suffered losses (some really big losses - some of which i probably can never be forgiven), so that i can win.

this phrase is lifted from 'THE LIBERTINE' - a freaking awesome movie i have only just watched moments before typing this out, "Any experiment of interest in life will be carried out at your own expense."

i shall now vary that phrase to fit my own little blabber of a post here, "Any lesson worth learning in life can sometimes only be learnt at your own expense."

guilt is a lesson for the soul.

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before i sign off, here is some food for thought: Why and how do good people end up in hell?

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good people end up in hell because they failed to forgive themselves in life.

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Updates on Frankenstein In Love.

rehearsals have been great fun for me. i love being in a play again. and playing a character like Cockatoo is freaking awesome. i get to be play a guy who is completely off the hinges. wild and violent yet having amazing traits like loyalty and wanting to bring down a corrupt government.

i feel like i haven't given myself completely to Cockatoo yet. i have to forget that i'm good natured Michael and just 'lose it' to become Cockatoo.

i'll try that tonight. *grin.

anyway, some of you may know that i am trying to look the part too. other than letting my hair grow again. i'm also growing a goatee of sorts.
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its the first time i've let it grow for so long. feels weird. oh well...

come watch the play then you'll see a REALLY different me on stage - physically and mentally!

16 girls - one night.

Besides my play - there's something else which would most certainly be a good watch too! So what you waiting on? Go get yourselves tickets to watch this ...

Visit "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" for more info.

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Join LiT Performers, KL's all woman A Capella in this fun filled pop musical which celebrates the importance of sisterhood and girlfriends featuring unique arrangements of These Boots are Made for Walking, Don't Cha', hits from the 60's, Elvis, Queen and other surprises. With their special blend of choreography and powerful vocals, let the girls redefine and challenge the way you experience A Capella music.

VENUE: The Actors Studio, Bangsar Shopping Centre

DATE: 11th - 15th Oct 2006

TIME: 8.30 pm

TICKET PRICES: RM 38, RM 48, RM 68

You can call the Box Office: 03-2094 0400 / 1400 or Email: tickets@theactorsstudio.com.my

Life as a Graduate.

hey all - sorry i haven't had much time to blog lately. at least, i haven't been able to blog about anything really interesting lah. most of my creative energy is now being channelled into FiL.

in case you've not visited the FiL blog, here are some exerps i put up there about my character - "Cockatoo":

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Moving along ... the process of finding Cockatoo (or the process of Cockatoo finding me...) has been a freakin' riot. He's a real cool character lah. The first time I read 'him' during the audition with Gavin, I thought to myself ... "Kewl..."

Cockatoo is beyond insane. He's so insane that he knows exactly how insane he is. He knows when he's doing something that seems morally wrong but enjoys himself immensely doing it because he doesn't care. At least, thats how it seems.

On the other hand, his loyalty to El Coco is unparalled. He believes in the REVOLUTION, he believes that El Coco has a vision and he truly believes in that vision as well. And Cockatoo understands that a revolution is not a pretty thing. People get hurt. Sometimes the innocent. Casualties are imminent. Cockatoo is willing to do all this. He understands that the end may not even justify the means. But it has to be done. And Cockatoo can do it.

I don't know about you, but if I were a leader of whatever, I'd want someone like Cockatoo by my side.

I'm even trying to grow a goatee or something - to look more like the character. I'm a Chinese dude trying to grow a goatee - a big 'no-no' in my books. I scare myself every morning. I'm also letting my hair grow instead of leaving it short as I usually do.

Everyday I read the script, everyday I think about him, the closer Cockatoo is to me. I find myself actually 'being' him when I'm out driving or walking around or lying in bed. Eyes wide and wild, mouth breaking into a huge maniacal grin for no reason every now and then ...

And here's the scary bit - "I like it... muahhahahahahahahhahahaha"

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and here's a post i put up there in character ie as 'Cockatoo'...

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I found myself remembering things from when I was just Juan Thomas Navarro again the other day.

We had just cleared a whole village made up of people who were not with the People Revolutionary Militia. And if they are not with us - then they are against us. And all those who are against us must fall. Nothing can be allowed to stand in the way of our goal - Cesar's, El Coco's vision.

So there I was, at what was left of the village, skinning a corpse - because I had nothing else to do - and I remembered always being good with a knife, even before I became 'Cockatoo'.

I remembered how I would geld a foal. First, I would speak to it as a Priest would speak to a dying man assuring him that death is nothing to be feared. Thats how I would speak to it - fool it into believing that whats going to happen next will be painless ... and then I plunge my knife in ... it would all happen quick. Very quick. Just a blink of an eye, and I would have been finished while they bring in another foal waiting to be lulled into a false sense of security before I send a piece of cold steel into its nether regions.

I remembered thinking - even then - that it would always be over too quickly. I was always good with a knife.
I remembered all these things and I couldn't help myself but smile ... as I took my own sweet time - skinning the corpse I had in front of me ... just because I had nothing else to do ...

*end*

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and here's a little something else which you might find interesting ...

For those of you not 'in the know', Mary George (who plays 'Maria' who probably has the most stage time) is my lecturer. Well, perhaps it would be more apt to say she used to be my lecturer since I have just recently graduated (*phew*). The reason I bring this up is because my character, "Cockatoo" gets quite/very/relatively intimate with her. Cockatoo even calls her a 'whore' and is very blunt when commenting on how good or bad a 'lay' Maria is.

Needless to say, its been awkward namely because - and let me state this for the record - she is one of my favourite lecturers! It's true!

Anyway, because we've only done 'readings' and 'blocking' so far, things haven't really heated up yet. But 'blocking' will be coming to an end soon - so things are gonna get mighty interesting lah (stay tuned for the ongoing saga of the ex-student/ex-lecturer sex scandal ... )

(*in case you don't know what 'blocking' is: it's just a process of 'walking' the play so that we start familiarizing ourselves with what the set is going to be like and we can know where to stand where we say a certain line and such...)

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anyway, besides that, i'm also still teaching at TNT on days i don't have rehearsals for FiL.

i've also just signed on to be a PRODUCTION ASSISTANT with FiL. i'll be Jia Wei's (FiL's Production Designer) assistant. as far as i know, i'll be helping with sourcing for props, co-ordinating stage help maybe ... and anything else she may need me to do.

and, in case you're wondering, (which you probably are not - lol) - i am not abandoning my quest to become a Producer.

recently, i've spoken with Gavin Yap, Rashid Salleh and Douglas Lim a lot - and they've given me a lot to go on about what the industry is like. with the info i've attained from them, i have in my mind a better direction to go. right now, the idea is to jump into the industry of Production. i'll probably join a Production Company and become an intern or something to that effect to learn the ropes from scratch.

bottom line, i'm not going to be making money anytime soon - i'll still be leading a frugal student's life. but hey - as friends and people keep telling me - "At least I'm doing what I want to do."

the tricky bit to that is, i'm not really sure if that's it for me either. but i've made the decision to go into it who heartedly with a goal and vision for myself. if things don't work out - at least then i know that i should try something else and won't be bothered with all the "WHAT IFs"...

so ok lah - that's it for now.

signing off, the commonjack.

p/s: to all of you who are actually visiting my blog ... leave me a line or something - let me know that someone is keeping in touch with me ... this blog has become a way to keep people i don't see everyday in touch with whats going on with my life ... it's not really a self indulgent writing place for me now. so it'd be nice to know people come around here ... holler out YA!

And so life begins ... "WORK" & "THEATRE"

hello all.

i'm glad to say that i've now officially finished one chapter of my life. a chapter i'm not very proud of - but happy nonetheless.

i've passed my law exams. i am now a 3rd class law degree holder - a graduate of the Uni of London External Programme. i'm not very proud of my results. i'm just glad its over. everybody says you'll look back and miss the good 'ole days.

maybe i will - however, at present, i certainly don't think so. the only thing i'm grateful for taking up the UoL External Programme at ATC is that the course provided me with a lot of free time to indulge in all the other activities that i'm very happy to have found.

THEATRE. KICKBOXING. WRITING. SINGING. etc ...

all those years ago, after form6, had i chosen to accept to go to USM in Penang and take up Mass Comm - (it was my 3rd option on my application form - my 1st 2 were to do Law at UM or at UKM) - would life be very diffferent? perhaps i wouldn't have picked up kickboxing then ... or maybe i wouldn't have had the time to really indulge in acting here ... who knows?

WORK:

ANYwho... if you've read the "24" post - you'd probably be thinking that i'll be hopping on the next wagon of life - that is to look for a job that'll lead to me being a "Producer".

an exerp from "24" -

"...i've decided that i want to be a PRODUCER. i will start with TV but i want to get to a point when i have the ability and know-how to produce anything from theatre, radio, tv and etc. i want to be someone who would be able to conceptualise new shows, combining all sorts of elements to blow people out of their socks.

yes, i've decided that i will take that plunge into the 'entertainment' industry. so now, i'm not just working on trying to get in front of the camera, but i will also learn to be behind the camera."

and i shall. even though i'm having some doubts about it at present - it could be just 'cold feet' - i need to do it. there's another option to continue studying (ovreseas....) - something related to media - my Father put it to me after i told him about my results. as much as i would like to go overseas ... the thought of putting off going to 'work' and figuring out what i want to do with the rest of my life is not very appealing.

that being said, i'm going to be sussing out some more contacts and details before i make my final leap and start working.

THEATRE:

but i've got something to keep me busy while i suss out my details. i've gotten a role - my biggest role yet - in Gavin Yap's next play. it's called FRANKENSTEIN in LOVE (FiL for short - click to get to the production blog).

FiL can be described to be a "play of dark, airless places taht have been long sealed from any hope of sanity". (cool right?)

below is an exerp from the production blog written by the director himself ...

" Inspired by Mary Shelley's classic horror story, Clive Barker has has taken the Shelley's tale and basically put his own spin on it. The result is a sort of 'what if' scenario. What if Dr Frankenstein had actually succeeded in creating a race of half dead-half alive creatures? And what if these creatures still had the ability to think and feel the way normal people do, but yet at the same time be very much aware of what they are and the fact that they have no real place in the world.....what would happen?

What happens is that it causes a huge uprising and there is a revolution. This serves as the backdrop for the play. The emotional core of the story is a tragic romantic triangle that develops between El Coco, the leader of the revoution (played by Rashid Salleh), Veronique, one of Frankenstein's creations (played by Melissa Maureen) and the good Doctor Frankenstein himself (played By Mano Maniam). Its a beautifully tragic relationship that doesn't just hint at the unimaginable but actually has the balls to go there, which is what I love so much about it. This is a play that truly grabs you by the short and curly's and dares you to try and run.
Aside from the three romantic interests, there is a host of colorful, equally fucked up characters that inhabit Barker's crazy world. There is Maria Reina Duran (played by Mary George), a dead fan-dancer who also serves as the play's narrator. Cockatoo (played by Michael Chen), a crazed revolutionary who loyally serves El Coco, all the while wearing a crazed broad grin on his face. Then there is Lazaro (played by Douglas Lim), a half-witted friend of Maria's. There are the two flesh-eating creatures Follezou and Mattos (played by Rauf Fadzilla and Bharani Rasaselvam) who assist Veronique in her quest for vengenance, first on the list is a faithless Cardinal (played by Reuben Arthur)! We have President Garcia Perez (played by Patrick teoh) the nation's current President that El Coco seeks to overthrow (amongst other things) and lastly the hilariously morally ambiguous duo of Camilo Bozuffi (played by Reza Zainal Abidin) and Dr Fook (played by U-En Ng), a tailor and pathologist who have a hideously amusing business relationship.

Indeed, this is a play that is designed to scare and disturb but trust me, it isn't without its share of good laughs. We had a our first reading of the play last night and there were points where we had to stop cos we couldn't stop laughing. We'll be reading through the play all this week (without Douglas, who's finishing off Broken Bridges and Reza, who's doing Second Link) before we start blocking Monday next week. As rehearsals progress, you can expect the usual input from the cast and crew. Only this time, we've got a lot more goodies coming your way as you'll be treating to previews not only of the set design but also the costumes and make-up, which I promise you, is going to be off the fucking chain."

as you can see, i'm in the company of players whom i have great respect and admiration for. hopefully, i can hold my own in their company. i am indeed very excited about this play because it's a f*cking cool play! and also, because it's the biggest role i've ever had!

so yeah ... it'll be staged in LATE OCT and EARLY NOV - so stay tuned!

once i'm done with the play - chances are - i'll start a job. so that's my life from the way it looks on this day.

sounds exciting...

signing off, the commonjack.

Open Mic Aug 6th 2006.

and as promised ... a post about my open mic.

actually, i've done two. one was with the Troubagangers and the other was Project OMG (last Aug 19th).

Troubagangers:

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this was quite nerve wrecking - cause it had been such a loooong time since i last sang at an open mic - not only that - this was only my 2nd time ever singing an open mic. to make things worse, i was in the company of people who were really used to singing open mics. most of whom had their own CD's for sale that night. plus ... there were lots of people walking in to sing who were realllly good too.

however, all things considered, i think i put up a decent performance. good enough to give me confidence to try another open mic last Aug 19th!

anyway, i went up right after this band called 'Ask Me Again' ... who were really, really f*cking awesome. i wanted to buy their CD immediately! the place was packed with people whom i can only imagine have heard of them before. when i was told that i was going up right after them - i was a wreck!

when my name was actually called, people actually started getting up to leave. luckily, i had a fair amount of friends there to support me (THANK YOU GUYS FOR COMING!!!) and they clapped loudly for me - that got the attention of most of the people who were getting out to leave - so they stood around a bit to check me out 1st.

i was given 15 mins. i sang 4 songs. 3 are my own compositions ... "Come Back to Me", "I Do It All to Myself" and "Don't Judge Me". my 4th song was my own rendition of U2's "With or Without You". i f**ked up a bit with some lyrics with my 1st and 3rd song. chiefly because there are new songs and also because i was nervous as hell!

i felt quite good towards the end of my 1st song because there's a part of the song where i go acapella and i just sing without playing my guitar. people were clapping along to my singing! which made me believe that i had their attention and they were actually listening to me! lol. i even saw some people who got up to leave earlier sit down again ... which was a nice thing to see.

whatever it is, this open mic has given me the confidence to want to invest in a proper semi-acoustic guitar so that i can give a better performance. i intend to do more open mics. eventually - i want to record my songs proper and distribute them DIY - very low key and see where that takes me. if i can get ONE person to come up to me after an open mic and buy one of my CD's which i will probably only sell for like rm10 or something ... i'll feel immensely sated.

Project OMG:
this was done very near my house ... at a place called FOOD FOUNDRY. (click on Project OMG to check out the blog.)

OMG is an abbreviation for 'Open Mic Gig' - they are pretty much a greener version of the Troubagangers. they are a younger crowd looking to help show off local students works ... be it short films, shorts, poems, songs and such. very cool. i found out about them when i was surfiing through kakiseni.com for auditions.

i sang 3 songs ... i planned to sing "Insomnia", "I Know Why" and "I Wanna See You Everyday". the 1st song is quite emo and the 2nd one is a song i haven't played in a loooong time (which is the reason i wanted to play it). while the 3rd song is a really, really new song.

when it was time for me to go up to sing, i surveyed the crowd and realised that most of them there weren't really interested in listening. they were largely there for 'dinner'. as such, i figured an emo song would just turn them off even more. so i had to change at the last minute and played another one of my gushy love songs "If I could Only" and snubbed "Insomnia".

it wasn't too bad. although, i did not practice sufficiently and was a little shaky singing and playing it.

"I Know Why" was better. but i don't think i did my best. and on my last song, i screwed up royally, i forgot my bridge and final verse lyrics! i had to make it up as i went along and in the end - it sounded a lot like the 1st song i played. *sigh* ...

oh well ... of course, since it was my own song, no one was the wiser. once again, i had a fair amount of supporters (THANK YOU ALL!!!).

they all had nice things to say ... but i personally know i usually do a lot better than that ... oh well. there will be a next time. :)


so that's it lah. i'm off...

p/s: coming soon - i'm in another play! and i've gotten the biggest role i've ever had the honour of getting! (it's practically a lead role!haha) the play is called "Frankenstein in Love" and will be staged on OCT 27th till NOV 3rd. stay tuned for a production blog and my own personal entries about it here ... !!

Post Birthday Party

this year - i had about 40 people coming in and out of my party. and as mentioned earlier - somehow everyone knew someone else - its a small world after all - and that made it easier for everyone to kinda hang with one another.

so it was cool. i got a little high during my party. note: NOT DRUNK. i was high. just nice. so some of the photos that you will see below will be featuring the high me, the generic toothy smile, red eyes, red skin, etc. :) what can i say? i'm chinese and i got good blood circulation!

i missed a photo op with some people ... davina being one of them! other than that, i think i pretty much took a photo with everyone who came - just to prove to myself that i *do have friends! even if i only see some of these fellas once a year! lol

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My Mum & I.

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The Guys! (The original 4)

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Form 6 mates ...

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Getting Brian drunk!! (YN Yap next to him doing all the coaxing)

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Outside bunch - fr left to right ... TNT ppl : Oliver, Jessie, Carl, Calvyn (non-TNT person but theatre friend fr Julius Caesar days), Shirley (Carl's gf), and Oliver's gf (sorry i forgot the name!! Heather is it?)

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My Malay friends!! haha - Johan and Faisal.

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Some of the Malats ...
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Bunch of ppl who spent most of the night playing monopoly in my TV room...
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Calvyn the EX-Cleo Bachelor (LOL)
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Jessie - my Surrogate GF.
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Just Anrie and ME!
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Myself, Azhar and Paik Yin.
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Me, Ons, Carmen.
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Kuan Seng - my childhood buddy...

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Catherine and I...

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Group Photo!!

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Oliver & Meg and me.

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Regina and I

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Joanna and I

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Yue Neng and I

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Joanne and I

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Victor and I

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Huei Wearn, Myself and Kell Jay (i think i spelt it right)

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Myself and one of my Presents ...

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The Last Few who stayed right up to the end...

so, that's it folks! i've posted up most of the photos here. sorry it took so long to post up.

a post on my open mic at la bodega - coming soon (hopefully) ... :)

i'm singing again!

1st of all - let me thank all those of you who came to my birthday party this year! and to those of you who paid attention to my *wishlist* - many, many thank yous!! i had lots of great prezzies this year! think i shall adopt the shameless attitude next year as well... haha.

this year the party was a good one because all my different groups of friends somehow managed to mesh well together. so instead of having one group there and another group here - everyone sort of hung out together and that made all the difference!

i will post up pictures and write more about the party soon - but for now ... i want to let you lot in on something.

i'm singing again!!

Read Below...

Hi beautiful people,

Coming Sunday, we'll be gathering once again upstairs La Bodega in KL to listen to some of the klang valley's newest talents. Or not. ;)

Presenting jazzy-ish indo-pop croonerADY SUWARDY

Also, featuring:

*** ASK ME AGAIN***

SPINABIFIDA ***

MEKARNYA SATU KEMATIAN***

MICHAEL CHEN

So we'll be seein u... aren't there enuff gigs these days? Yeah.... but still not enuff open mics / stages eh. Keep it on strong! Let's flood KL with indie song, poetry and talk!

More www.webprojx.com/troubaganger

--Posted by Doppelganger Open Mic KL to Doppelganger Open Mic Open Stage at 7/30/2006 02:11:00 PM

i've been given the 11 pm slot. but give or take half an hour before or after ... i should be performing around then lah. so, try and get there by then at the very latest. i'm assuming the rest are probably more exposed to the open mic scene than me - so if you can make it at 8 pm to catch the rest ... come lah earlier ... i should be there.

plus, another friend of mine will be singing too - We Jun - his blog is listed on my site. Malaysian Noir.

ok ladies and gents... thats it for now. laters.

24.

well - what do you know? it is the week of my Birthday. i will be *that much closer to yet another milestone that is 25. how exciting.

i've decided to post a little update. i've been a busy little bee for sure.

since my final paper on June 9th, i've picked up dancing at KLPac. i've finished one of my stories (finally!). i've been working *almost daily at TNT and picked up on my training again too (body is feeling it now).

besides those daily stuff - i've also decided on what to do with the rest of my life. at least, i've decided on what to *try first lah. and what may that be? you might ask.

i've decided that i want to be a PRODUCER. i will start with TV but i want to get to a point when i have the ability and know-how to produce anything from theatre, radio, tv and etc. i want to be someone who would be able to conceptualise new shows, combining all sorts of elements to blow people out of their socks.

yes, i've decided that i will take that plunge into the 'entertainment' industry. so now, i'm not just working on trying to get in front of the camera, but i will also learn to be behind the camera.

i've spoken with many, many people thus far in trying to strategise how i will go about realising my dream. i've travelled as far as Singapore to even discuss a *possible stint working there.

and at this point, i have a basic idea of what i want to do and also how to go about doing it.

i suppose in that sense, the goals i set for myself when i left form6 5 years ago is coming to fruition. although, methinks me plans is running a year behind schedule.

so yeah. :)

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WISHLIST! WISHLIST!

anyway - speaking of years - my birthday is this week! (haha - shameless!)

for those of you in the country, i am thinking of having another one of my 'oh-so-famous' house parties this friday night. so, look forward to a mass text or email soon. or if not, just call me lah and i'll invite you (hehe - i can't be calling everyone right?!)

and in case you're wondering what to get me as a b'day present - here's a random order (SHAMELESS) wish-list ...

1. Neil Gaiman's "Sandman" series: as some of you may be aware, i've developed a new liking towards these graphic novels (or some of you might just refer to them as 'more expensive comics'). some of you may also know that Neil Gaiman is one of my favourite writers. i've bought "Preludes & Nocturnes" which is the first of the Sandman series.

and i would love to have more of the collection - "Doll's House", "Dream Country", "Season of Mists", "A Game of You", "Fables & Reflections", "Brief Lives", "Worlds' End", "The Kindly Ones", "The Wake" and "Endless Nights".

and "The Death Stories" look really interesting too.

2. next, anything that i could add to my recent BIG purchase aka my 30 gig iPod. the price of iPod accessories are killer man.

so anything (related) would be cool - :) hehe. (this is really so shameless).

check out iPod accessories for what i'm talking about. there's stuff like the "Radio Remote", "The Leather Case", "The Universal Dock", the "AV Connection Kit", "The Apple Remote" etc.

but what i could really use is the transparent skin you normally see people use. i think they go for about rm49. *Grin.

what's really cool is "FM Transmitter & Charger for iPod & iPod mini". but this one quite de expensive lah - i think there are cheaper variations of a FM transmitter for the iPod so that i can listen to mine on my car radio.

3. my Guitar - i want to perform more open mic sessions in the coming future. i've been meaning to installing a pick-up on my guitar so that i can hook my guitar up to an amp but have never gotten round to it simply due to lack of funds. :)

4. anything to do with THE CROW i collect all that is THE CROW anyway - thus far, i've got an 18 inch kick-ass 'motion-sensoring-voice-activated' crow figurine. i also have The Crow Original Graphic Novel and The Crow Shattered Lives & Broken Dreams.

there are more Crow Comics and other Crow Novels that i'd like to add to my collection (very hard to source out here in M'sia though OR at least i don't know where to look lah).

ok lah - i think that's enough of my humble (shameless) wishlist.

i'm out.

Swingin' on a Star ...

this is a song that i hum / whistle / sing to my nephews every chance i get. i'll probably sing it to my own kids too.

it's called "Swingin' on a Star" and it is by Frank Sinatra - at least that's the version i remember listening to as a child. what i distinctly remember in my mind right now is that i used to see this animated video clip on tv a lot. the animation is very old school - think ... the first 'Cinderella' in colour - can you see it? well, it's that kind of animation. if anyone knows how i can download such an old school animation video - do let me know.

i also remember that the kid looked like a 'Betty Boo' type of drawing - big head, big eyes with visible eye lashes, very cutesy looking, small-ish body (a bit dispropotionate, come to think of it) ... and i remember the kid turning into a mule, a pig and a fish ... and of course - swinging on a star.

now there's a song that sends the right message.

here are the lyrics ...

Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a mule?

A mule is an animal with long funny ears
Kicks up at anything he hears
His back is brawny and his brain is weak
He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak
And by the way, if you hate to go to school
You may grow up to be a mule

Or would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a pig?

A pig is an animal with dirt on his face
His shoes are a terrible disgrace
He ain't got no manners when he eats his food
He's fat and lazy and extremely rude
But if you don't care a feather or a fig
You may grow up to be a pig

Or would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a fish?

A fish won't do anything, but swim in a brook
He can't write his name or read a book
And to fool the people is his only thought
And though he's slippery, he still gets caught
But then if that sort of life is what you wish
You may grow up to be a fish

And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo
Every day you meet quite a few
So you see it's all up to you
You can be better than you are
You could be swingin' on a star


i love that last vrese - 'All the monkeys aren't in the zoo, Every day you meet quite a few' - so true. and of course the final message that i guess has stuck with me although i've not really taken the effort to dig up the lyrics till today - "So you see it's all up to you, You can be better than you are, You could be swingin' on a ... star..."

Endgame.

hey y'all ...

for those of you who actually visited the 'Homecoming Diaries' blog and found it interesting...

Gavin Yap is directing another play entitled ENDGAME (http://endgamediaries.blogspot.com/2006/06/beginning-of-end.html), a play by Samuel Beckett. from what i understand, it is another 'good / disturbing / gets under your skin' play. reading the production blog on how rehearsals are going and listening to the actors, directors and set designer etc is quite interesting.

a side note to the 'guys': "YOU fellas might wanna take note that SHARIFAH AMANI (of SEPET and GUBRA) is in this play.

and ALVIN WONG, that fella in the astro ad wearing the Arsenal jersey who has to share his one astro with his Mother on one hand and his girlfriend on the other and ends up calling Astro to get a nd decoder for 50% off ...

alternatively, you can visit this site (http://www.klpac.com/Welcome.asp?c=whatsontheatreview&theatreID=71&theatrecatID=5) or just read below lah, since i'm gonna be copying and pasting from the site anyway.

Endgame

Executive Produer: Dato' Faridah Merican

Artistic Director: Joe Hasham

Playwright: Samuel Beckett

Director: Gavin Yap

Cast: Alvin Wong, Sharifah Amani, U-En Ng and Kelvin Wong

Lighting Designer: Mac Chan

Production Designer: Loo Jia-Wei

In a bare room, serving as a shelter, sit four characters: Hamm the master, Clov his servant and Hamm's mother and father, Nell and Nagg. Outside all seems dead and nothing happens. Inside, the characters pass the time toying with fears and illusions of a possible change, all along sensing the inevitability of their end.

For more information about the production, visit www.endgamediaries.blogspot.com.



About Samuel Beckett (Playwright)

Beckett studied French and Italian at Trinity College. During a stint in Paris, Beckett was introduced to James Joyce. In the years to come Joyce would have an "overwhelming" effect on his fellow Irishman. Beckett became one fo the intimates in Joyce's circle and contributed time and effort to his work.

By the end of the 1920s Beckett had begun to publish his own work. After acquiring a Master's degree from Trinity, he settled in Paris in 1937.

1941 brought news of the death of Joyce, and the invasion of the Nazis. Thereafter, he joined the resistance and was later awarded the Croix de Guerre in 1945 for "extreme bravery". After the war, his focus in writing shifted to ideas of the essential, the minimal, the unadorned. His trilogy of novels, Molloy (1951), Malone Dies (1951), and The Unnamable (1953), is among the greatest prose writings of the century.

When Waiting for Godot first appeared on the stage in 1953, the world of theatre was startled to find itself changed. Didi and Gogo do very little in the course of two acts but wait, wait, wait, for someone named Godot, who may or may not be coming. This very human drama was pared down to its most necessary gestures: expectation, companionship, abuse, hope. The plays which followed such as Endgame (1958) similarly used abstraction as a means to explore the most powerful themes, and to question whether they have any value or meaning.

Beckett received an honorary doctorate from Trinity College in 1959, and two years later he won, with Jorge Luis Borges, the Prix International des Editeurs (or Prix Formentor). Beckett also won the Nobel Prize for, in the words of the Academy's citation, "his writing, which - in new forms for the novel and drama - in the destitution of modern man acquires its elevation."

For more information on Samuel Beckett, visit http://www.themodernword.com/beckett/.


besides that, for those of you who are free this weekend, you might wanna check out what's below ...

Dear all,

To mark the conclusion of the 2-week Beckett Residency held at KLPac, the participants will be staging six short plays by the renowned Irish playwright this Saturday. Details are as follows:

Date: 8 July 2006, Saturday
Time: 3.00pm
Admission: open for free to literature / performing arts students (limited places, first-come-first-serve basis)

Lighting: Tan Chui Mui
Technical: Gavin Yap
Stage Manager: Lina Hasbullah

- Catastrophe: featuring Wong Hai Wong, Nor Hazlin Nor Salam and Lim Kien Lee
- Come and Go: featuring Valerie Low, Joanne Tai and Chong Lez Ann
- Rough For Theatre I: featuring Lim Soon Heng and Derek Ong
- Act Without Words II: featuring James Lee and David Lim
- Footfalls: featuring Sabera Shaik and Nicole Ann Thomas
- Nacht and Traume: featuring Nicole Fuchs, Lee Jia Hui and Yoong Pui Shen

If you know any literature / performing arts students who may be interested to attend the presentation, please forward this on to them. They must book their place first. More information about the Beckett Residency and Samuel Beckett below.

For place booking, kindly contact Yue May at 03-40479016


well, that's it for now. i'm still in Singapore and should be on a 11 am bus tomorrow back home.

later then.

quicky updates.

alrights ... for those of you who give a shit. :)

for the month of july. i'll be working on a 'full time' basis with my kickboxing place. i will be teaching from Monday right through to Thursday (both the 7pm and 8.15pm classes). on Mondays and Wednesdays, i'll be there even earlier because i have a student i give personal training (ie a PT student) at 5.45pm to 6.45pm before i teach the 7pm class. and then i also teach on Saturdays at 11am and 2.30pm and i also have another PT student in between the 11am and 2.30pm class.

plus, on Mondays and Wednesdays, i usually stay back at the gym and 'train and spar'. so after the classes end at about 9.30pm, i end up training from 10 till about 11 ish.

and on Sundays i have my dance classes with KLPAc at 12.30pm till about 2.30pm.

so there's my week folks. at least, this is the way it is gonna be for the month of July. maybe also in August but that remains to be seen.

and you might want to avoid calling me from tomorrow till friday cause i'll be in Singapore. unless you have something really important to tell me.

i've also recently purchased myself a real sexy 30 gig iPod. so if you're looking to borrow money from me - sorry bub. however, if you owe me money - you better cough it up! lol

ok - so if i don't answer you calls - or take a while to get back to you - its probably cause i'm doing one of the things mentioned above or trying to sleep and recouperate.

and as promised, here's a little exerp from my finished "Crow".

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THE PREY …

Once I was done with the make up and I covered my wounds – I was ready to go. The crow sensed that and immediately flew out of the room when I looked to it. It knew what I wanted. It went to look for the people responsible for my fate. However, what I didn’t know was that looking for them was going to be a lot more difficult than I thought.

As the crow flew, I ran. Just like earlier, when it guided me away from the cemetery. It was my eyes high up in the sky and I could see with amazing clarity both from up above to my own peripheral vision. I was determined. The crow seemed to know where to go and I gave it all my trust. After all, it was carrying my soul, if I can’t trust the crow – then there’s not much point of me going on.

And I was right to do so for it brought me to this old looking flat in a slum part of town. The crow perched itself upon the ledge of the flat, at the top floor, and looked to the corridor and then I saw him. Leong Chai.

There were 2 other thugs with him. I could see them from the crow’s eyes. They seemed to be banging on a door. I didn’t need to see anymore.

By the time I walked up the staircase to the top floor of this flat, they had already knocked the door down and I could hear a woman screaming for help. People were just rushing by me down the staircase away from the screams rather than trying to help. No matter, in my mind – he was there.

As I approached the door, one of the thugs who was with Leong Chai came out, “Go the other way mister. There ain’t no show for you here.”

“Alas, the show, as they say, is where the act is … and the main player in the act (pause) has arrived!” and then I kicked him in the balls and smashed his face against the wall.

The moment I walked into the flat, the other thug was waiting by the door with his back turned towards me and it was easy for me to just grab him by the neck and twist him around and I heard a crack in his neck before he crashed to the ground lifeless. Leong Chai was in the midst of trying to undo his pants – when he heard the thud of his henchman’s body on the ground.

“Forcing thyself unto another … such a sad desperate act for a sad desperate man…” I said as I made my move towards him.

He staggered around the ground and he grabbed his gun, “FUCK YOU!” and he shoots me 5 times right in the chest. Point blank.

For a split second, I was stunned and I felt a little funny, but when I looked down to the bullet holes, they just closed right back up again! This was when I let my hood down and showed myself to him.

“What the fuck…?” he said as he emptied the rest of his ammo in me.

I didn’t feel a thing. “From a proud tower in the town, Death looks gigantically down and I now stand here towering above you. Death is here to meet you.”

I picked him up and threw him across the room like the sack of shit he was. He was fucking pissing in his pants. He didn’t know where to go or what to do. He was sobbing, bawling his eyes out.

I knelt down in front of him and grabbed his hair so that I could get a good look at his eyes when I talked to him, “… Do I not remind you of anyone?”

“No man…who the fuck are you?! Why the hell are you hassling me?! I didn’t do nothing to you man!...” and he tried to spit at me.

“Perhaps your mind requires a little prompting …” I don’t know how I did it or how I even knew I could do it but I made him feel all the pain my sister felt as she was being raped that night. I just grabbed his head with both my hands – looked him dead in the eyes and ‘transferred’ the pain.

“FEEL IT! Take the pain, the anger and the suffering – all because of you! Take the loneliness of a year being stuck in a body that is still alive but with a soul that’s already dead! TAKE IT! FEEL IT ALL!” and I let go. He fell to the ground. Eyes wide open, veins popping out.

He was dead.


note: the above is essentially quite a big exerp. :) it's the 1st draft and will probably be changed many times over before it finds its final form. but as said earlier, this is the mould from which this story will develop from. hope you liked it!

My Crow.

i've finally finished my very own version of THE CROW. it consists of 30 odd pages. this is primarily the first draft and is set to undergo much re-editing and sprucing up but as is - this is pretty much the mould from which it will develop from.

since finishing my 1st 'novella' almost 5 years ago, i have not been able to finish any of my other 'novellas' and this is only my 2nd finished project. i've got random short stories here and there but nothing to shout about methinks.

i still have a 'fantasy - dragons - LOTR' type project which is going on 50+ pages now but am not happy with it at all. so, that might be axed.

also, there's my 'Dream Realm' story of which Neil Gaiman has something that is similar in his SANDMAN series.

oh well, if you're interested in checking out any of my stories. lemme know. leave a comment. talk to me. *grin.

ok i'm out.

p/s: i'll post an exerp soon.

Day time TV

day time TV can be a religion. it is on at the same time everyday. usually during lunch or something like that when people who stay at home most of the time would generally have the time to just switch the TV on and watch whatever that might be of *interest.

if done properly (unlike in M'sia not necessarily because the TV people don't know what they're doing but i think more so that M'sians in general don't have much faith in local TV - but then again, can you blame them?), people get hooked on the show. they unconsciously end up watching it everyday thinking that they are not hooked simply because they are not going out of their way to watch it. it simply becomes routine. like going to church on Sundays is for some - just routine.

anyway, i've been wanting to address this issue of Oprah for a while now. 2 particular episodes specifically. however, i digress for just a tiny moment - just in case there are any Oprah fans who happen to read this, (although unlikely - since i doubt i have any friends who are into Oprah), i take nothing away from her ie the fact that she has a good show (think res ipsa loquitur ie the thing speaks for itself - in this sense, her success speaks for itself). no doubt, she has also donated millions to various charities ... bla bla bla.

but, one cannot deny that in the process of doing what she does, she has attained great power over the masses. and i'm talking international proportions here. although, fortunately it is really only quite prevalent in her home country and that effect is somewhat subdued in other countries.

and as cliched as it sounds - ala Spiderman - "With power, comes responsibility." and i sometimes wonder whether in Oprah's case - it gets to be abused every once in a while.

1. the use of the word 'N*gger / N*gga':

on one episode, Oprah invited most of the cast of 'Crash' - she was promoting the movie. they talked about racism and what-not and finally they reached the topic of using the 'N' word. i give props to Don Cheadle and Ludicrous for sticking to their guns on this issue.

basically, Oprah's angle was that the N word has a lot of racial history and its significance is such that it should outlawed.

most of the cast then continued to say that the use of the N word can be used as a term of endearment - representing the bond between 2 people when used properly. in fact, the 'er' at the end and the 'ga' ... both have different meanings. the latter has a 'Yo Brother, whats up' feel. whilst the former actually has a derogatory feel. nevertheless, these terms should still be kept within people of the same colour although i think a person (of different ethnicity) who has established a level of 'closeness' can use the terms too.

the argument posed mostly by Don Cheadle was that, the N word is just a word. a word that has bite but that 'bite' can be taken out of it.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words can never hurt me."

once you don't give a shit about the word, people will stop associating negative qualities to the word and would be less likely to use it against you. it may be a long process, especially so with a word such as the N word i s'pose, but i believe it rings true anyway.

Oprah strongly disagreed but was careful to say that 'everyone is entitled to their own opinion' (not very convincingly though if i may add) and one by one, the cast members who were at first in agreement with Don Cheadle, began to fall.

only Don Cheadle was brave enough to voice his disagreement with Oprah whilst, Ludicrous who uses the word frequently in his songs - remained somewhat silent but stood by his position nevertheless - i believe he did state that he doubts he would stop using the word in his songs.

the thing is, the audience members were all clapping in agreement with Oprah quite enthusiastically. and i find it hard to believe that people watching her show would be any different.

more importantly, i don't think it would have been any different if Oprah decided to go down Cheadle's road and agree with him. the masses would have just as easily followed her down that road as they did the argument she stood by anyway.


2. Strippers anyone?

on another episode, Oprah got one husband and wife to appear on her show. the facts of the situation is basically :

- the wife and husband have 2 sons and a young daughter.

- for the son's 16th or 15th b'day, the mother hired a stripper to come to the house.

- things got a little 'hot' and the boys who were at the part pooled their money together and got the stripper to strip completely.

- explicit pictures were taken of the stripper 'simulating sexual positions on some of the boys'.

the wife then took the film over to a local photo developing shop and the husband got arrested - something to do with exposing minors to indecent elements.

the husband pretty much said from the get go that he was against the idea from the very beginning. but when Oprah asked the wife how she felt about it and whether she regretted it, the wife basically replied that she regrets the consequence but does not really think that the actual act of hiring the stripper was a mistake.

Oprah of course voiced her 'outrage' albeit in a subdued tone at this. subtlely lacing all her comments with hints that the Wife was 'not thinking' when she hired the stripper and that she was 'foolish / stupid' and 'terribly wrong' to think that the act of hiring the stripper was not a mistake to begin with.

and of course, once again, it felt as though that the masses mindlessly followed Oprah. in a sense, she was imposing her own sense of right and wrong on the masses without really putting enough emphasis that it is OK to disagree.

i would agree if you think that the 'masses' should bear that in mind themselves and that it is not necessarily the responsibility of one such as Oprah to inform or place emphasis on that element. however, in light of how things are in reality - i'd be forced to rethink that position.

in fact, the wife says that she was not showing the sons or the other boys' at the party anything that they had not seen before (and i would agree with this part in today's day and age) and that by doing the hiring herself and being 'around' whilst the boys were being exposed to the sexual elements - she could protect her son by being in 'control'. suffice to say, that the stripper *riding the boys or assuming *sexual positions on the boys did not spiral into an outright orgy ala Roman times nor did it lead to the boys' losing control and raping.

there are various movies and stories like 'malena' for instance, which shows how a young boy's sexual encounters at a young age can stay with the boy for life. and the effect of which is more positive than negative. i myself was exposed to racy sexual elements at the tender age of 9 but i developed more of an appreciation and respect for the 'female' rather than anything else.

and of course i'm sure you've seen or heard of stories where young boys who hit a certain age are brought to a 'prostitute' or something like that by his own parent as some form of 'right of passage'. you can agree or disagree with this as something to be taken as 'morally reprehensible' or not. it is your choice. i wouldn't judge a person who has done it or a person who thinks it is right or wrong.

i will however deem one to be narrow minded if you ONLY believe that it is ONLY wrong or ONLY right.

IN CONCLUSION, i think Oprah is a show to be very careful with. she's a bit of a power-mogul and people would generally *listen to her.

but then again, it doesn't really affect me lah. these are just a couple of issues that have been bugging me for a while and seems to make for good blogging material.

alrights then. later.

of dancing & such.

no rest for the wicked. that's the saying right? well, i haven't really had much time on me hands since my final paper last friday.

from going to watch plays, to home made movies, to working at TNT, to sparring, partying and then dance classes. i've done quite a lot since last friday night.

believe or not - i haven't even sat down to watch a full football match yet. and it is the World Cup! but to be honest, its no real skin off my nose - i'm not much of a fan of football but can appreaciate it lah.

anyway - with regards to the 'Professional Dance Course for Beginners', i had my first class today. thankfully, it wasn't class full of pro dancers looking to hone their skills. most of them are just regular janes and joes who really like dancing and want to take it a step further. that being said, quite a few of them can really shake what their mama gave 'em anyway - now they're just learning the proper technique i s'pose.

i basically went into this blind and had no idea what i was in for - and Pat Chan, our 'teacher / facilitator', informed us that we'd be learning Jazz Dancing, which is apparently the basic for a lot of styles like hip-hop and etc. the warm-up included lots of streches which are relatively simple but with much emphasis on how to use the body - 'dance-like'. the dreaded soft arm movements and the pointing of toes and such kinda come into play. this is something i'm terribly not used to and am unsure if i will ever get used to it.

but because of the flexibility i've garnered from all my kickboxing training - i could follow lah. even got noticed and everyone was told to watch me do one of the streches ... (*so embarassing). and then there were some pilates stretches - i take back everything i've ever said about pilates - it's quite a freaking difficult exercise lah! i've actually incorporated some pilates-style stretching in my kickboxing warm-ups and cool-downs without realising it. but of course, learning it at the dance class - i had to do it more properly than i would normally - so it was quite a challenge.

we got into some simple warm up dance steps afterwards - which was quite fun - there were some clapping bits in it which i kept f*cking up but generally ok lah. then there were 'poses' - you walk with attitude and go, "1, 2 POSE!, and then hold it for ... 5, 6 , 7, 8!" then you go again, "1, 2, POSE! ..." i was feeling so ridiculously self concious.

then we go into some choreography of the 'dance' that all of us will be performing at the end of the 10 sessions. how nice. btw, i'm not inviting ANY of my friends. you don't need to see me dance. *grin.

sigining off, the commonjack.

when it's over.

well, yesterday was the last day of my exams. f*cking Succession. but whatever lah. its over for now.

i wanted to sleep the day away but many things came up and i didn't get to sleep much after all.

but i decided a loooong time ago that i'd celebrate by going to watch 'The Fastest Clock in the Universe'. - quite fuck*ng good lah - i won't go into details now. but even though i didn't sleep the whole night before mugging for my exam - i was kept wide awake but the brilliant script and all around cool (and convincing) performances from all those involved. in fact, i'm so tempted to write my own little review - but i shall refrain, for now.

then, i went to be in a friend's home made movie. didn't get to do much but had fun anyhow. going again in a short while. but when i got home last night, the relief of just being able to go to sleep without thinking about my fate in exams and the rest of my future was ridiculously liberating.

now i can get back to "trying to get another crack at theatre' again! being part of Julius Caesar (last Dec) and Going North (last Feb) has left me hungry for something ... anything! in fact, i signed up for a "Professional Dance course for Beginners" - if that makes any sense to you.

i'm teaching at TNT every other day now. but it's great to get back into kickboxing. i think i'm out of shape. had a great Sparring session today. i have missed it more than i thought. one of my goals this time around - is to get better at sparring and get back in shape!

i also want to finish at least ONE of my 'novella' projects waiting in my "Stories" folder. geez. they probably need to be dusted off at this point.

also perform at another opec mic session! yes yes! that is a must. i must improve. get more balls to sing in public. and i'll sing only my own stuff this time. damn the crowd pleasers! haha.

anyhow - this is just a filler entry lah - shall come up with something of more substance soon.

signing off - the commonjack.

fear family.

it's 11.49 am.

ok - so i had Family Law yesterday. by far, i think it was the worst paper for me. not that i couldn't answer anything. i answered all 4 questions - meaning to say i somehow managed to study enough to answer 4 questions with some semblance of me knowing what it was i was talking about lah. at least to me. which is quite a feat considering i almost gave up hope on myself the night before the exam.

i don't really want to get into it. i'm just keeping my fingers crossed.

studying Succession now. my last paper is tomorrow morning. by 12 pm tomorrow. i'll be freeeeeeeee from the shackles that is Law.

can't wait.