i've finally finished my very own version of THE CROW. it consists of 30 odd pages. this is primarily the first draft and is set to undergo much re-editing and sprucing up but as is - this is pretty much the mould from which it will develop from.
since finishing my 1st 'novella' almost 5 years ago, i have not been able to finish any of my other 'novellas' and this is only my 2nd finished project. i've got random short stories here and there but nothing to shout about methinks.
i still have a 'fantasy - dragons - LOTR' type project which is going on 50+ pages now but am not happy with it at all. so, that might be axed.
also, there's my 'Dream Realm' story of which Neil Gaiman has something that is similar in his SANDMAN series.
oh well, if you're interested in checking out any of my stories. lemme know. leave a comment. talk to me. *grin.
ok i'm out.
p/s: i'll post an exerp soon.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Friday, June 23, 2006
Day time TV
day time TV can be a religion. it is on at the same time everyday. usually during lunch or something like that when people who stay at home most of the time would generally have the time to just switch the TV on and watch whatever that might be of *interest.
if done properly (unlike in M'sia not necessarily because the TV people don't know what they're doing but i think more so that M'sians in general don't have much faith in local TV - but then again, can you blame them?), people get hooked on the show. they unconsciously end up watching it everyday thinking that they are not hooked simply because they are not going out of their way to watch it. it simply becomes routine. like going to church on Sundays is for some - just routine.
anyway, i've been wanting to address this issue of Oprah for a while now. 2 particular episodes specifically. however, i digress for just a tiny moment - just in case there are any Oprah fans who happen to read this, (although unlikely - since i doubt i have any friends who are into Oprah), i take nothing away from her ie the fact that she has a good show (think res ipsa loquitur ie the thing speaks for itself - in this sense, her success speaks for itself). no doubt, she has also donated millions to various charities ... bla bla bla.
but, one cannot deny that in the process of doing what she does, she has attained great power over the masses. and i'm talking international proportions here. although, fortunately it is really only quite prevalent in her home country and that effect is somewhat subdued in other countries.
and as cliched as it sounds - ala Spiderman - "With power, comes responsibility." and i sometimes wonder whether in Oprah's case - it gets to be abused every once in a while.
1. the use of the word 'N*gger / N*gga':
on one episode, Oprah invited most of the cast of 'Crash' - she was promoting the movie. they talked about racism and what-not and finally they reached the topic of using the 'N' word. i give props to Don Cheadle and Ludicrous for sticking to their guns on this issue.
basically, Oprah's angle was that the N word has a lot of racial history and its significance is such that it should outlawed.
most of the cast then continued to say that the use of the N word can be used as a term of endearment - representing the bond between 2 people when used properly. in fact, the 'er' at the end and the 'ga' ... both have different meanings. the latter has a 'Yo Brother, whats up' feel. whilst the former actually has a derogatory feel. nevertheless, these terms should still be kept within people of the same colour although i think a person (of different ethnicity) who has established a level of 'closeness' can use the terms too.
the argument posed mostly by Don Cheadle was that, the N word is just a word. a word that has bite but that 'bite' can be taken out of it.
once you don't give a shit about the word, people will stop associating negative qualities to the word and would be less likely to use it against you. it may be a long process, especially so with a word such as the N word i s'pose, but i believe it rings true anyway.
Oprah strongly disagreed but was careful to say that 'everyone is entitled to their own opinion' (not very convincingly though if i may add) and one by one, the cast members who were at first in agreement with Don Cheadle, began to fall.
only Don Cheadle was brave enough to voice his disagreement with Oprah whilst, Ludicrous who uses the word frequently in his songs - remained somewhat silent but stood by his position nevertheless - i believe he did state that he doubts he would stop using the word in his songs.
the thing is, the audience members were all clapping in agreement with Oprah quite enthusiastically. and i find it hard to believe that people watching her show would be any different.
more importantly, i don't think it would have been any different if Oprah decided to go down Cheadle's road and agree with him. the masses would have just as easily followed her down that road as they did the argument she stood by anyway.
2. Strippers anyone?
on another episode, Oprah got one husband and wife to appear on her show. the facts of the situation is basically :
the wife then took the film over to a local photo developing shop and the husband got arrested - something to do with exposing minors to indecent elements.
the husband pretty much said from the get go that he was against the idea from the very beginning. but when Oprah asked the wife how she felt about it and whether she regretted it, the wife basically replied that she regrets the consequence but does not really think that the actual act of hiring the stripper was a mistake.
Oprah of course voiced her 'outrage' albeit in a subdued tone at this. subtlely lacing all her comments with hints that the Wife was 'not thinking' when she hired the stripper and that she was 'foolish / stupid' and 'terribly wrong' to think that the act of hiring the stripper was not a mistake to begin with.
and of course, once again, it felt as though that the masses mindlessly followed Oprah. in a sense, she was imposing her own sense of right and wrong on the masses without really putting enough emphasis that it is OK to disagree.
i would agree if you think that the 'masses' should bear that in mind themselves and that it is not necessarily the responsibility of one such as Oprah to inform or place emphasis on that element. however, in light of how things are in reality - i'd be forced to rethink that position.
in fact, the wife says that she was not showing the sons or the other boys' at the party anything that they had not seen before (and i would agree with this part in today's day and age) and that by doing the hiring herself and being 'around' whilst the boys were being exposed to the sexual elements - she could protect her son by being in 'control'. suffice to say, that the stripper *riding the boys or assuming *sexual positions on the boys did not spiral into an outright orgy ala Roman times nor did it lead to the boys' losing control and raping.
there are various movies and stories like 'malena' for instance, which shows how a young boy's sexual encounters at a young age can stay with the boy for life. and the effect of which is more positive than negative. i myself was exposed to racy sexual elements at the tender age of 9 but i developed more of an appreciation and respect for the 'female' rather than anything else.
and of course i'm sure you've seen or heard of stories where young boys who hit a certain age are brought to a 'prostitute' or something like that by his own parent as some form of 'right of passage'. you can agree or disagree with this as something to be taken as 'morally reprehensible' or not. it is your choice. i wouldn't judge a person who has done it or a person who thinks it is right or wrong.
i will however deem one to be narrow minded if you ONLY believe that it is ONLY wrong or ONLY right.
IN CONCLUSION, i think Oprah is a show to be very careful with. she's a bit of a power-mogul and people would generally *listen to her.
but then again, it doesn't really affect me lah. these are just a couple of issues that have been bugging me for a while and seems to make for good blogging material.
alrights then. later.
if done properly (unlike in M'sia not necessarily because the TV people don't know what they're doing but i think more so that M'sians in general don't have much faith in local TV - but then again, can you blame them?), people get hooked on the show. they unconsciously end up watching it everyday thinking that they are not hooked simply because they are not going out of their way to watch it. it simply becomes routine. like going to church on Sundays is for some - just routine.
anyway, i've been wanting to address this issue of Oprah for a while now. 2 particular episodes specifically. however, i digress for just a tiny moment - just in case there are any Oprah fans who happen to read this, (although unlikely - since i doubt i have any friends who are into Oprah), i take nothing away from her ie the fact that she has a good show (think res ipsa loquitur ie the thing speaks for itself - in this sense, her success speaks for itself). no doubt, she has also donated millions to various charities ... bla bla bla.
but, one cannot deny that in the process of doing what she does, she has attained great power over the masses. and i'm talking international proportions here. although, fortunately it is really only quite prevalent in her home country and that effect is somewhat subdued in other countries.
and as cliched as it sounds - ala Spiderman - "With power, comes responsibility." and i sometimes wonder whether in Oprah's case - it gets to be abused every once in a while.
1. the use of the word 'N*gger / N*gga':
on one episode, Oprah invited most of the cast of 'Crash' - she was promoting the movie. they talked about racism and what-not and finally they reached the topic of using the 'N' word. i give props to Don Cheadle and Ludicrous for sticking to their guns on this issue.
basically, Oprah's angle was that the N word has a lot of racial history and its significance is such that it should outlawed.
most of the cast then continued to say that the use of the N word can be used as a term of endearment - representing the bond between 2 people when used properly. in fact, the 'er' at the end and the 'ga' ... both have different meanings. the latter has a 'Yo Brother, whats up' feel. whilst the former actually has a derogatory feel. nevertheless, these terms should still be kept within people of the same colour although i think a person (of different ethnicity) who has established a level of 'closeness' can use the terms too.
the argument posed mostly by Don Cheadle was that, the N word is just a word. a word that has bite but that 'bite' can be taken out of it.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words can never hurt me."
once you don't give a shit about the word, people will stop associating negative qualities to the word and would be less likely to use it against you. it may be a long process, especially so with a word such as the N word i s'pose, but i believe it rings true anyway.
Oprah strongly disagreed but was careful to say that 'everyone is entitled to their own opinion' (not very convincingly though if i may add) and one by one, the cast members who were at first in agreement with Don Cheadle, began to fall.
only Don Cheadle was brave enough to voice his disagreement with Oprah whilst, Ludicrous who uses the word frequently in his songs - remained somewhat silent but stood by his position nevertheless - i believe he did state that he doubts he would stop using the word in his songs.
the thing is, the audience members were all clapping in agreement with Oprah quite enthusiastically. and i find it hard to believe that people watching her show would be any different.
more importantly, i don't think it would have been any different if Oprah decided to go down Cheadle's road and agree with him. the masses would have just as easily followed her down that road as they did the argument she stood by anyway.
2. Strippers anyone?
on another episode, Oprah got one husband and wife to appear on her show. the facts of the situation is basically :
- the wife and husband have 2 sons and a young daughter.
- for the son's 16th or 15th b'day, the mother hired a stripper to come to the house.
- things got a little 'hot' and the boys who were at the part pooled their money together and got the stripper to strip completely.
- explicit pictures were taken of the stripper 'simulating sexual positions on some of the boys'.
the wife then took the film over to a local photo developing shop and the husband got arrested - something to do with exposing minors to indecent elements.
the husband pretty much said from the get go that he was against the idea from the very beginning. but when Oprah asked the wife how she felt about it and whether she regretted it, the wife basically replied that she regrets the consequence but does not really think that the actual act of hiring the stripper was a mistake.
Oprah of course voiced her 'outrage' albeit in a subdued tone at this. subtlely lacing all her comments with hints that the Wife was 'not thinking' when she hired the stripper and that she was 'foolish / stupid' and 'terribly wrong' to think that the act of hiring the stripper was not a mistake to begin with.
and of course, once again, it felt as though that the masses mindlessly followed Oprah. in a sense, she was imposing her own sense of right and wrong on the masses without really putting enough emphasis that it is OK to disagree.
i would agree if you think that the 'masses' should bear that in mind themselves and that it is not necessarily the responsibility of one such as Oprah to inform or place emphasis on that element. however, in light of how things are in reality - i'd be forced to rethink that position.
in fact, the wife says that she was not showing the sons or the other boys' at the party anything that they had not seen before (and i would agree with this part in today's day and age) and that by doing the hiring herself and being 'around' whilst the boys were being exposed to the sexual elements - she could protect her son by being in 'control'. suffice to say, that the stripper *riding the boys or assuming *sexual positions on the boys did not spiral into an outright orgy ala Roman times nor did it lead to the boys' losing control and raping.
there are various movies and stories like 'malena' for instance, which shows how a young boy's sexual encounters at a young age can stay with the boy for life. and the effect of which is more positive than negative. i myself was exposed to racy sexual elements at the tender age of 9 but i developed more of an appreciation and respect for the 'female' rather than anything else.
and of course i'm sure you've seen or heard of stories where young boys who hit a certain age are brought to a 'prostitute' or something like that by his own parent as some form of 'right of passage'. you can agree or disagree with this as something to be taken as 'morally reprehensible' or not. it is your choice. i wouldn't judge a person who has done it or a person who thinks it is right or wrong.
i will however deem one to be narrow minded if you ONLY believe that it is ONLY wrong or ONLY right.
IN CONCLUSION, i think Oprah is a show to be very careful with. she's a bit of a power-mogul and people would generally *listen to her.
but then again, it doesn't really affect me lah. these are just a couple of issues that have been bugging me for a while and seems to make for good blogging material.
alrights then. later.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
of dancing & such.
no rest for the wicked. that's the saying right? well, i haven't really had much time on me hands since my final paper last friday.
from going to watch plays, to home made movies, to working at TNT, to sparring, partying and then dance classes. i've done quite a lot since last friday night.
believe or not - i haven't even sat down to watch a full football match yet. and it is the World Cup! but to be honest, its no real skin off my nose - i'm not much of a fan of football but can appreaciate it lah.
anyway - with regards to the 'Professional Dance Course for Beginners', i had my first class today. thankfully, it wasn't class full of pro dancers looking to hone their skills. most of them are just regular janes and joes who really like dancing and want to take it a step further. that being said, quite a few of them can really shake what their mama gave 'em anyway - now they're just learning the proper technique i s'pose.
i basically went into this blind and had no idea what i was in for - and Pat Chan, our 'teacher / facilitator', informed us that we'd be learning Jazz Dancing, which is apparently the basic for a lot of styles like hip-hop and etc. the warm-up included lots of streches which are relatively simple but with much emphasis on how to use the body - 'dance-like'. the dreaded soft arm movements and the pointing of toes and such kinda come into play. this is something i'm terribly not used to and am unsure if i will ever get used to it.
but because of the flexibility i've garnered from all my kickboxing training - i could follow lah. even got noticed and everyone was told to watch me do one of the streches ... (*so embarassing). and then there were some pilates stretches - i take back everything i've ever said about pilates - it's quite a freaking difficult exercise lah! i've actually incorporated some pilates-style stretching in my kickboxing warm-ups and cool-downs without realising it. but of course, learning it at the dance class - i had to do it more properly than i would normally - so it was quite a challenge.
we got into some simple warm up dance steps afterwards - which was quite fun - there were some clapping bits in it which i kept f*cking up but generally ok lah. then there were 'poses' - you walk with attitude and go, "1, 2 POSE!, and then hold it for ... 5, 6 , 7, 8!" then you go again, "1, 2, POSE! ..." i was feeling so ridiculously self concious.
then we go into some choreography of the 'dance' that all of us will be performing at the end of the 10 sessions. how nice. btw, i'm not inviting ANY of my friends. you don't need to see me dance. *grin.
sigining off, the commonjack.
from going to watch plays, to home made movies, to working at TNT, to sparring, partying and then dance classes. i've done quite a lot since last friday night.
believe or not - i haven't even sat down to watch a full football match yet. and it is the World Cup! but to be honest, its no real skin off my nose - i'm not much of a fan of football but can appreaciate it lah.
anyway - with regards to the 'Professional Dance Course for Beginners', i had my first class today. thankfully, it wasn't class full of pro dancers looking to hone their skills. most of them are just regular janes and joes who really like dancing and want to take it a step further. that being said, quite a few of them can really shake what their mama gave 'em anyway - now they're just learning the proper technique i s'pose.
i basically went into this blind and had no idea what i was in for - and Pat Chan, our 'teacher / facilitator', informed us that we'd be learning Jazz Dancing, which is apparently the basic for a lot of styles like hip-hop and etc. the warm-up included lots of streches which are relatively simple but with much emphasis on how to use the body - 'dance-like'. the dreaded soft arm movements and the pointing of toes and such kinda come into play. this is something i'm terribly not used to and am unsure if i will ever get used to it.
but because of the flexibility i've garnered from all my kickboxing training - i could follow lah. even got noticed and everyone was told to watch me do one of the streches ... (*so embarassing). and then there were some pilates stretches - i take back everything i've ever said about pilates - it's quite a freaking difficult exercise lah! i've actually incorporated some pilates-style stretching in my kickboxing warm-ups and cool-downs without realising it. but of course, learning it at the dance class - i had to do it more properly than i would normally - so it was quite a challenge.
we got into some simple warm up dance steps afterwards - which was quite fun - there were some clapping bits in it which i kept f*cking up but generally ok lah. then there were 'poses' - you walk with attitude and go, "1, 2 POSE!, and then hold it for ... 5, 6 , 7, 8!" then you go again, "1, 2, POSE! ..." i was feeling so ridiculously self concious.
then we go into some choreography of the 'dance' that all of us will be performing at the end of the 10 sessions. how nice. btw, i'm not inviting ANY of my friends. you don't need to see me dance. *grin.
sigining off, the commonjack.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
when it's over.
well, yesterday was the last day of my exams. f*cking Succession. but whatever lah. its over for now.
i wanted to sleep the day away but many things came up and i didn't get to sleep much after all.
but i decided a loooong time ago that i'd celebrate by going to watch 'The Fastest Clock in the Universe'. - quite fuck*ng good lah - i won't go into details now. but even though i didn't sleep the whole night before mugging for my exam - i was kept wide awake but the brilliant script and all around cool (and convincing) performances from all those involved. in fact, i'm so tempted to write my own little review - but i shall refrain, for now.
then, i went to be in a friend's home made movie. didn't get to do much but had fun anyhow. going again in a short while. but when i got home last night, the relief of just being able to go to sleep without thinking about my fate in exams and the rest of my future was ridiculously liberating.
now i can get back to "trying to get another crack at theatre' again! being part of Julius Caesar (last Dec) and Going North (last Feb) has left me hungry for something ... anything! in fact, i signed up for a "Professional Dance course for Beginners" - if that makes any sense to you.
i'm teaching at TNT every other day now. but it's great to get back into kickboxing. i think i'm out of shape. had a great Sparring session today. i have missed it more than i thought. one of my goals this time around - is to get better at sparring and get back in shape!
i also want to finish at least ONE of my 'novella' projects waiting in my "Stories" folder. geez. they probably need to be dusted off at this point.
also perform at another opec mic session! yes yes! that is a must. i must improve. get more balls to sing in public. and i'll sing only my own stuff this time. damn the crowd pleasers! haha.
anyhow - this is just a filler entry lah - shall come up with something of more substance soon.
signing off - the commonjack.
i wanted to sleep the day away but many things came up and i didn't get to sleep much after all.
but i decided a loooong time ago that i'd celebrate by going to watch 'The Fastest Clock in the Universe'. - quite fuck*ng good lah - i won't go into details now. but even though i didn't sleep the whole night before mugging for my exam - i was kept wide awake but the brilliant script and all around cool (and convincing) performances from all those involved. in fact, i'm so tempted to write my own little review - but i shall refrain, for now.
then, i went to be in a friend's home made movie. didn't get to do much but had fun anyhow. going again in a short while. but when i got home last night, the relief of just being able to go to sleep without thinking about my fate in exams and the rest of my future was ridiculously liberating.
now i can get back to "trying to get another crack at theatre' again! being part of Julius Caesar (last Dec) and Going North (last Feb) has left me hungry for something ... anything! in fact, i signed up for a "Professional Dance course for Beginners" - if that makes any sense to you.
i'm teaching at TNT every other day now. but it's great to get back into kickboxing. i think i'm out of shape. had a great Sparring session today. i have missed it more than i thought. one of my goals this time around - is to get better at sparring and get back in shape!
i also want to finish at least ONE of my 'novella' projects waiting in my "Stories" folder. geez. they probably need to be dusted off at this point.
also perform at another opec mic session! yes yes! that is a must. i must improve. get more balls to sing in public. and i'll sing only my own stuff this time. damn the crowd pleasers! haha.
anyhow - this is just a filler entry lah - shall come up with something of more substance soon.
signing off - the commonjack.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
fear family.
it's 11.49 am.
ok - so i had Family Law yesterday. by far, i think it was the worst paper for me. not that i couldn't answer anything. i answered all 4 questions - meaning to say i somehow managed to study enough to answer 4 questions with some semblance of me knowing what it was i was talking about lah. at least to me. which is quite a feat considering i almost gave up hope on myself the night before the exam.
i don't really want to get into it. i'm just keeping my fingers crossed.
studying Succession now. my last paper is tomorrow morning. by 12 pm tomorrow. i'll be freeeeeeeee from the shackles that is Law.
ok - so i had Family Law yesterday. by far, i think it was the worst paper for me. not that i couldn't answer anything. i answered all 4 questions - meaning to say i somehow managed to study enough to answer 4 questions with some semblance of me knowing what it was i was talking about lah. at least to me. which is quite a feat considering i almost gave up hope on myself the night before the exam.
i don't really want to get into it. i'm just keeping my fingers crossed.
studying Succession now. my last paper is tomorrow morning. by 12 pm tomorrow. i'll be freeeeeeeee from the shackles that is Law.
can't wait.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
bloody muppet!
i'm a f*ckin' muppet! i can't believe it. all that talk about choosing which question to do in Part A of my Company Law paper ...
the instructions are to do 'at least one question from Part A and at least one from Part B' !!! i could have done 2 of the essay questions that i had studied for if i wanted to! and i should have!!!
the instructions are to do 'at least one question from Part A and at least one from Part B' !!! i could have done 2 of the essay questions that i had studied for if i wanted to! and i should have!!!
refer to post below entitled "Day 2 Done" if you have no idea what i'm talking about.
X
ARGH!
what a fu*king muppet.
X
Friday, June 02, 2006
Day 2 Done.
*note: before reading this entry, go to bottom of entry and read the statement highlighted in this same colour. thanks. (for your own benefit.)
well - Company Law is over and done with - at least for now. i'll only be sure that it is truly over come results day. nevertheless, after the initial worry i harboured in my head for awhile, once my paper was collected, vis-a-vis wondering whether i had enough substance in my answers to get through - i felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
the paper which, during the course of the year, i assumed that i'd be able to cope with but turned out to be a whole other kettle of fish - that is company law - is done. what a relief.
i'm picking up again with my Family Law and Law of Succession and hope that it won't be such a struggle to get in the groove with those subjects. i've only got 5 days before i have to sit for Family and then just one day away, will be Succession. *i'm keeping my fingers crossed.
anyway, in retrospect, Company Law was not as bad as i thought it could have been. the scenario in my head was one of a complete and total *black-out in the hall, which has never really happened to me before but there's always a first time for everything - so the fear was somewhat founded in that sense.
the actual effective soaking in of the subject matter and topics that i wanted to cover only took place the day before the bloody exam, so i suppose whatever answers i came up with during the exam would probably be just a *cursory representation of the subject matter. as such, as said earlier, i'm just hoping that that's enough to get through.
i studied enough to to attempt all 4 questions in a decent manner considering all circumstances. all the topics i covered came out - which was a major comfort at the get-go seeing how all this time, i've had difficulty recognising questions on topics that i thought i had covered extensively!
in fact, in Part A of the paper (of which i can only answer one 'essay' based question as opposed to the other Part B questions which mostly contain 'problem' based questions), i had 2 questions to choose from. one was a pretty General question on the 'strengths and weaknesses' of UK Company Law and another was a very specific question on the role of 'Non-executive Directors'.
the former allowed me the freedom for more originality in my answer as i could form a personal view on the laws that i knew in company law based on the few topics i studied. that gave it more of a potential to be a scoring type question - the facts and info i use will be somewhat similar and cursory with any other student who attempted the question but then again, it wouldn't be entirely identical. the drawback was that it would take time to formulate a proper answer and i had trouble deciding on how far i should go into details as i had to cover a wide spectrum of laws in Company Law.
the latter was a pretty straightforward answer. there are several main Committees that had been formed to evaluate to the role of NED's and all i had to do was to spill everything i memorised on each report and even the criticisms were memorised. the drawback here was that even when i knew exactly what to write, i only had a cursory memory of all the reports involved. plus, the specific nature of the question gave me little room to try and be original.
i ended up doing the General question because of the freedom of originality it gave me. but i didn't really manage to get through all my arguments by the end of the exam. in the end - i don't think i managed to make my answer very 'original' at all. but as with all the rest of the questions i attempted, i hope there's enough in there to get me through.
all in all, i'm just glad that for now, that's over and i have just 2 more papers to get over with.
*whatever happens, these entries i'm writing on my present exam experience would probably prove useful to me in some way, shape or form in future.
for that, i apologise if it's boring the f*ck out of you. *grin.
signing off, the commonjack.
p/s: 'eye twitch' is gone.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
eye twitch.
my right eye-lid has been twitching since the wee hours of yesterday morning. i believe it started at about 2-ish am. it's now the early morning of Wednesday at 12.23 am. my right eye-lid is still twitching.
my mum says, "Either something really bad is going to happen or something really good."
gee.
i just think this is a sign of pure unadulterated stress and fu*king fear.
Company Law is technically - tomorrow.
'nuff said.
my mum says, "Either something really bad is going to happen or something really good."
gee.
i just think this is a sign of pure unadulterated stress and fu*king fear.
Company Law is technically - tomorrow.
'nuff said.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Problems with Company Law.
shit! it's already monday.
i had a 'near breakdown' on Saturday. since my last paper (last Tuesday), i haven't been able to sort out my Company Law properly. i never really had a handle on it and i don't seem to know where to start or how to go about preparing myself to sit for the exam this coming Thursday, June 1st.
since last Wednesday till most of Sunday, i was freaking out.
however, i feel like the bouts of hopelessness has run its due course. the unfortunate consequence however, is that i've wasted 5 DAYS! that could have been put to really good use. but instead - they were spent wallowing in self pity.
nevertheless, here i am, with effectively another 3 days - hopefully i had enough of an understanding of the subject as a whole to be able to do something constructive with the next 3 days for the damn exam.
that's it then.
signing off, the commonjack.
i had a 'near breakdown' on Saturday. since my last paper (last Tuesday), i haven't been able to sort out my Company Law properly. i never really had a handle on it and i don't seem to know where to start or how to go about preparing myself to sit for the exam this coming Thursday, June 1st.
since last Wednesday till most of Sunday, i was freaking out.
X
X
i get so angry when i feel like that but i essentially don't lose control because that just won't help the f*cking situation lah. i just try my best to do what i need to do so that i can walk into the exam hall and put up some measure of a decent attempt.however, i feel like the bouts of hopelessness has run its due course. the unfortunate consequence however, is that i've wasted 5 DAYS! that could have been put to really good use. but instead - they were spent wallowing in self pity.
nevertheless, here i am, with effectively another 3 days - hopefully i had enough of an understanding of the subject as a whole to be able to do something constructive with the next 3 days for the damn exam.
that's it then.
signing off, the commonjack.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Day 1 down.
ok. 1st paper done.
yesterday's paper started at 2 pm till 5 pm.
bascially i could answer all 4 of my questions. i was quite happy to see everything i wanted to write about. but i guess not enough practice writing a full answer within 45 mins hurt me big time. 20 mins into the 1st question, i knew i was going to need a whole lot more than 45 mins to finish it.
so i decided to keep to my 45 min mark (but i didn't. i overshot it by almost 10 mins and was nowhere near the end!) i wrote whatever i could. and then moved on to my next question. and what do you know? i overshot the time i set for myself in that one too. by the time i was attempting my 3rd question it was 3.40 pm. (it took me almost 2 hours to finish my 1st two questions!)
i knew i had to start on my 4th question by 4.15 pm. so it was a real rush in that last leg. it wouldn't have been too bad if i had finished my earlier 2 questions. but technically i only did just about three quarters of the 1st 2 questions. there was so much more left to write!
at 4.45 pm, not even halfway through my 4th question, i went back to my 1st 2 questions and tried to write much more. i wrote and i wrote and it felt endless. then i went back to the last 2 questions and tried to fill it up with more substance. and suddenly - "You have 5 minutes left."
my mind went, "hai lat ..."
so i went back to my last 2 questions to try and at least get halfway through them and finish them up point form.
the other shitty thing is that the invigilators decided to get their act together this year and actually fixed where each student would sit. i was right up in front. meaning, my paper would be collected 1st. fortunately, the guy must have noticed me going, "hai lat ...", because he let me continue writing when the announcement to 'Stop writing' had already been given. i had to conclude on whatever it is i wrote at the very least. so in the last desperate 10 minutes after the 5pm mark, i was trying to write legible and logical conclusions to whatever i wrote.
(which is really tough especially since i didn't really expand on many points.)
on my last question, which i only managed to write 1 page on ... "Explain what has sociology done to help in our understanding of law." there was so much to write! i could have written about Prof.Hart, Karl Marx, Hans Kelsen, Austin - how all of these Jurists have an element of sociology even when they tried to play down the importance of the element. i'm so sure i could have 'aced' this question. instead i only mentioned briefly all their names and the element of sociology prevalent in each of their theories. like maybe 2 sentences each. and my conlcusion was laughable because it was only one sentence, "Sociology is everywhere."
if only i had more than 20mins to write it!
oh well. right now, honestly - there's no sense in trying to guess whether i wrote enough to pass or not. if i fail it. there's no point in going to sit for the rest of my papers because Juris is my core paper for the year.
so next up JUNE 1st - Company Law.
signing off, the commonjack.
yesterday's paper started at 2 pm till 5 pm.
bascially i could answer all 4 of my questions. i was quite happy to see everything i wanted to write about. but i guess not enough practice writing a full answer within 45 mins hurt me big time. 20 mins into the 1st question, i knew i was going to need a whole lot more than 45 mins to finish it.
so i decided to keep to my 45 min mark (but i didn't. i overshot it by almost 10 mins and was nowhere near the end!) i wrote whatever i could. and then moved on to my next question. and what do you know? i overshot the time i set for myself in that one too. by the time i was attempting my 3rd question it was 3.40 pm. (it took me almost 2 hours to finish my 1st two questions!)
i knew i had to start on my 4th question by 4.15 pm. so it was a real rush in that last leg. it wouldn't have been too bad if i had finished my earlier 2 questions. but technically i only did just about three quarters of the 1st 2 questions. there was so much more left to write!
at 4.45 pm, not even halfway through my 4th question, i went back to my 1st 2 questions and tried to write much more. i wrote and i wrote and it felt endless. then i went back to the last 2 questions and tried to fill it up with more substance. and suddenly - "You have 5 minutes left."
my mind went, "hai lat ..."
so i went back to my last 2 questions to try and at least get halfway through them and finish them up point form.
the other shitty thing is that the invigilators decided to get their act together this year and actually fixed where each student would sit. i was right up in front. meaning, my paper would be collected 1st. fortunately, the guy must have noticed me going, "hai lat ...", because he let me continue writing when the announcement to 'Stop writing' had already been given. i had to conclude on whatever it is i wrote at the very least. so in the last desperate 10 minutes after the 5pm mark, i was trying to write legible and logical conclusions to whatever i wrote.
(which is really tough especially since i didn't really expand on many points.)
on my last question, which i only managed to write 1 page on ... "Explain what has sociology done to help in our understanding of law." there was so much to write! i could have written about Prof.Hart, Karl Marx, Hans Kelsen, Austin - how all of these Jurists have an element of sociology even when they tried to play down the importance of the element. i'm so sure i could have 'aced' this question. instead i only mentioned briefly all their names and the element of sociology prevalent in each of their theories. like maybe 2 sentences each. and my conlcusion was laughable because it was only one sentence, "Sociology is everywhere."
if only i had more than 20mins to write it!
oh well. right now, honestly - there's no sense in trying to guess whether i wrote enough to pass or not. if i fail it. there's no point in going to sit for the rest of my papers because Juris is my core paper for the year.
so next up JUNE 1st - Company Law.
signing off, the commonjack.
Jurisprudence and Legal Theory
it's 12.40 am. Jurisprudence and Legal Theory (it's like a study on the philosophy of law for the uniniated) aka my Juris paper is today. and how apt, the 'quote of the day' is by Aristotle, "The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet."
yeah ... rub it in my face why don't ya?
so here i am. my 1st day of my dreaded exams. 1st paper jitters have hit me since early Saturday. i'll feel better once i get it over with. but till then, the jitters will remain i guess. no way to shake it off.
i tried going to play basketball yesterday in the evening after studying for most of the afternoon. it didn't work. i still felt as jittery as ever. that's why i figured it won't go away till i get my 1st paper over and done with i s'pose.
pardon my *french. that helped a little. *smiles. oh well - i've just got a little more studying to do. then i'll go to sleep.
time is gonna start flying by once i get past the first paper. i might or might not keep blogging updates as it goes along. we'll see.
ok - i'm out.
signing off, the commonjack.
yeah ... rub it in my face why don't ya?
so here i am. my 1st day of my dreaded exams. 1st paper jitters have hit me since early Saturday. i'll feel better once i get it over with. but till then, the jitters will remain i guess. no way to shake it off.
i tried going to play basketball yesterday in the evening after studying for most of the afternoon. it didn't work. i still felt as jittery as ever. that's why i figured it won't go away till i get my 1st paper over and done with i s'pose.
X
fuck.
pardon my *french. that helped a little. *smiles. oh well - i've just got a little more studying to do. then i'll go to sleep.
time is gonna start flying by once i get past the first paper. i might or might not keep blogging updates as it goes along. we'll see.
ok - i'm out.
signing off, the commonjack.
Friday, May 19, 2006
quick quick stuff.
ok ok - i should be studying. i know. i know. but i've decided to post some stuff up just to get it out of the way.
1. Shattered Lives & Broken Dreams ... James O'Barr and Ed Kramer.
i know who's been reading my blog properly now. i know how you (you know who you are!) knew that i would just *die if someone got this for me! (refer to post entitled, "THE CROW - the graphic novel") nevertheless, you've made it into my list of 'most favourite people in the world'. in fact, rest assured - you're spot on that list is secured for life. barring nothing! no exceptions unlike all those freakin' law principles that *always have exceptions!
call me when you get back! dinner, lunch, movie - whatever, on me. *grin.
2. Proud Uncle in the house.
if you've just hopped on the "New Generation of Chen's bandwagon" ... previous posts are...Friday, February 10, 2006 entitled, "New Chen" and Monday, February 27, 2006 entitled, "More on My Nephews."
3. Exam woes.
you know, all this while i've been bitching and wailing about how i'm scared shitless about Law and why i hate it. the reasons being i'm not handling it well and that doesn't say much about what kind of person i am.
then it hit me the other day, this isn't me. the lousy way i'm going about doing Law. it's not the real me. there are a lot of things in life i make myself do regardless of whether i enjoy doing it or not. i do things cause it is the right thing to do. cause that is my driving force. it leads me to things i'm passionate about most of the time. some things that seem wrong to most, i sometimes do because i know that the ultimate end will be right. i've always taken pride in myself that the right thing by others are not necessarily right with me.
(sure i've made mistakes - i admit. i'm not perfect. i make my apologies where i have to. the rest, i make none.)
sure - i may not be facing down Law in the best possible fashion. it says something. sure it does. it says exactly just that. that with this particular thing, i'm not faring so well. but that doesn't mean it'll apply to everything else in my life for the rest of my life. that's just my brain going on overdrive.
maybe i'm just naive and this is just me trying to justify myself or whatever ... you're entitled to an opinion. i'm just sticking with mine for now.
anyway: exam schedule ...
MAY 23rd, Tues at 2.30pm till 5.30pm - i've got Jurisprudence.
JUNE 1st, Thurs at 2.30pm till 5.30pm - i've got Company.
JUNE 7th, Wed at 9am till 12pm - i've got Family.
JUNE 9th, Fri at 9am till 12pm - i've got Succession.
then FREEDOM ... (sing it with me now...) FREEDOM... *grin.
take care y'all.
signing off, the commonjack.
1. Shattered Lives & Broken Dreams ... James O'Barr and Ed Kramer.
i know who's been reading my blog properly now. i know how you (you know who you are!) knew that i would just *die if someone got this for me! (refer to post entitled, "THE CROW - the graphic novel") nevertheless, you've made it into my list of 'most favourite people in the world'. in fact, rest assured - you're spot on that list is secured for life. barring nothing! no exceptions unlike all those freakin' law principles that *always have exceptions!
call me when you get back! dinner, lunch, movie - whatever, on me. *grin.
2. Proud Uncle in the house.
X
my youngest nephew at 3 months! (Johnathan) such a poser pic lah this one. but cute as hell. aww heck - this is one helluva good pic.X
X
this is the most recent pic i have of the older nephew (2 years old), Alex at his new place! (my bro and family in S'pore moving on to a bigger and better future...have fun and good luck with the move! will come down and help out with loose ends when i finish my exams.if you've just hopped on the "New Generation of Chen's bandwagon" ... previous posts are...Friday, February 10, 2006 entitled, "New Chen" and Monday, February 27, 2006 entitled, "More on My Nephews."
3. Exam woes.
you know, all this while i've been bitching and wailing about how i'm scared shitless about Law and why i hate it. the reasons being i'm not handling it well and that doesn't say much about what kind of person i am.
then it hit me the other day, this isn't me. the lousy way i'm going about doing Law. it's not the real me. there are a lot of things in life i make myself do regardless of whether i enjoy doing it or not. i do things cause it is the right thing to do. cause that is my driving force. it leads me to things i'm passionate about most of the time. some things that seem wrong to most, i sometimes do because i know that the ultimate end will be right. i've always taken pride in myself that the right thing by others are not necessarily right with me.
(sure i've made mistakes - i admit. i'm not perfect. i make my apologies where i have to. the rest, i make none.)
sure - i may not be facing down Law in the best possible fashion. it says something. sure it does. it says exactly just that. that with this particular thing, i'm not faring so well. but that doesn't mean it'll apply to everything else in my life for the rest of my life. that's just my brain going on overdrive.
maybe i'm just naive and this is just me trying to justify myself or whatever ... you're entitled to an opinion. i'm just sticking with mine for now.
anyway: exam schedule ...
MAY 23rd, Tues at 2.30pm till 5.30pm - i've got Jurisprudence.
JUNE 1st, Thurs at 2.30pm till 5.30pm - i've got Company.
JUNE 7th, Wed at 9am till 12pm - i've got Family.
JUNE 9th, Fri at 9am till 12pm - i've got Succession.
then FREEDOM ... (sing it with me now...) FREEDOM... *grin.
take care y'all.
signing off, the commonjack.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Success AND Luck.
had a rough night last night. tossing and turning in bed. anxious and scared. was in bed at about close to 1am. but couldn't get to the actual 'sleeping' bit. i gave up. i got up and turned on the tv. i watched Sleepers on Astro. i almost forgot about how much i liked that movie.
some exerps from the movie,
Lorenzo: "This is a true story of how friendships run deeper than blood. This is my story of the only three friends in my life that have truly mattered. Two of them were killers that never made it past the age of 30. The other is a non-practicing attorney, living within the pain of his past, too afraid to let go, finding reassurance instead of confronting its horror. I was the only one that could speak for them, and for the children we were."
Fat Mancho: "You want a Rolls-Royce, you don't come here, no no. You go to England, or wherever the fuck they make it. If you want champagne, you go see the French. If you need money, you find a Jew. But, if you want dirt, or scum buried under a rock somewhere, or some secret nobody wants anybody to know about, there's only one place to go: right here, Hell's Kitchen. It is the lost and found of shit. They lose it and we find it. Forget about it, man."
but i'm not going to talk about Sleepers.
(click on *Sleepers above and visit the website if you have the time.)
after finishing the movie at about 3.40 am - i tried to sleep again. as i was lying in bed, a thought occured to me. and it's now 3.05 pm - i'm still thinking about it. i figured i'd get it off my chest before i hit the books again.
i think there is a difference between a Successful person and a Lucky person. (this may seem obvious to most - but hey, i just decided to put it into words.)
Successful person: in many cases (though not necessarily so in all circumstances), a successful person is someone who can set aside whatever personal problems he or she may have and just perform whatever task incumbent on them. and not just perform it in a rudimentary sense, but whole-heartedly as if he/she actually wanted to do it and enjoyed doing it. in effect, that person would 'just do it' and 'do it well'. whether or not it was something he/she wanted to do, well - quite frankly, is not the point. the point is to actually just do it really well.
Lucky person: in this case, a Lucky person would end up doing what he/she enjoys doing more than anything in the world. and he/she would also be doing it better than anybody else! so well in fact, that he/she would be able to carve a living out of it. (and if he/she is really lucky, then he/she would also be making lots and lots of money!)
contrary to the popular belief that if you enjoy doing what you're doing, you will be excellent at it - i don't think that that is always the case. for example, many people love singing. but that doesn't necessarily mean they're any good. forget about being excellent at it or actually making any kind of living from it.
now, taking my interpretation above as accurate. the observation one can make is that it takes a whole lot more to be a Succesful person. taking away nothing from the Lucky person who deserves everything he/she can get - a Successful person merely has to be given a lot more credit.
for in my opinion (yeah, yeah - i know everybody has one), a Successful person is a lot stronger. for he/she would be someone you can count on under almost any circumstance.
i could elaborate further, but that would be a mere act of *pleonasm. i'm sure you get the picture.
*Pleonasm is the use of more words than necessary to express an idea. The word comes originally from Greek πλεονασμóς ("excess").
one of my own personal pet peeves (regarding my own personal characteristics), is that thus far, i have not proven myself strong enough to be a Successful person.
but i guess i'm stubborn that way, cause i'll keep trying. that means i won't shy away from something just cause i don't like doing it. if it is a task incumbent on me, i will face it head on regardless of whether i'd do terribly or not. i'll figure out how to be strong enough one day.
and who knows? maybe along the way, i'll get Lucky. grin.
sigining off, the commonjack.
X
some exerps from the movie,
Lorenzo: "This is a true story of how friendships run deeper than blood. This is my story of the only three friends in my life that have truly mattered. Two of them were killers that never made it past the age of 30. The other is a non-practicing attorney, living within the pain of his past, too afraid to let go, finding reassurance instead of confronting its horror. I was the only one that could speak for them, and for the children we were."
Fat Mancho: "You want a Rolls-Royce, you don't come here, no no. You go to England, or wherever the fuck they make it. If you want champagne, you go see the French. If you need money, you find a Jew. But, if you want dirt, or scum buried under a rock somewhere, or some secret nobody wants anybody to know about, there's only one place to go: right here, Hell's Kitchen. It is the lost and found of shit. They lose it and we find it. Forget about it, man."
but i'm not going to talk about Sleepers.
(click on *Sleepers above and visit the website if you have the time.)
after finishing the movie at about 3.40 am - i tried to sleep again. as i was lying in bed, a thought occured to me. and it's now 3.05 pm - i'm still thinking about it. i figured i'd get it off my chest before i hit the books again.
i think there is a difference between a Successful person and a Lucky person. (this may seem obvious to most - but hey, i just decided to put it into words.)
Successful person: in many cases (though not necessarily so in all circumstances), a successful person is someone who can set aside whatever personal problems he or she may have and just perform whatever task incumbent on them. and not just perform it in a rudimentary sense, but whole-heartedly as if he/she actually wanted to do it and enjoyed doing it. in effect, that person would 'just do it' and 'do it well'. whether or not it was something he/she wanted to do, well - quite frankly, is not the point. the point is to actually just do it really well.
Lucky person: in this case, a Lucky person would end up doing what he/she enjoys doing more than anything in the world. and he/she would also be doing it better than anybody else! so well in fact, that he/she would be able to carve a living out of it. (and if he/she is really lucky, then he/she would also be making lots and lots of money!)
contrary to the popular belief that if you enjoy doing what you're doing, you will be excellent at it - i don't think that that is always the case. for example, many people love singing. but that doesn't necessarily mean they're any good. forget about being excellent at it or actually making any kind of living from it.
X
now, taking my interpretation above as accurate. the observation one can make is that it takes a whole lot more to be a Succesful person. taking away nothing from the Lucky person who deserves everything he/she can get - a Successful person merely has to be given a lot more credit.
for in my opinion (yeah, yeah - i know everybody has one), a Successful person is a lot stronger. for he/she would be someone you can count on under almost any circumstance.
i could elaborate further, but that would be a mere act of *pleonasm. i'm sure you get the picture.
*Pleonasm is the use of more words than necessary to express an idea. The word comes originally from Greek πλεονασμóς ("excess").
one of my own personal pet peeves (regarding my own personal characteristics), is that thus far, i have not proven myself strong enough to be a Successful person.
but i guess i'm stubborn that way, cause i'll keep trying. that means i won't shy away from something just cause i don't like doing it. if it is a task incumbent on me, i will face it head on regardless of whether i'd do terribly or not. i'll figure out how to be strong enough one day.
and who knows? maybe along the way, i'll get Lucky. grin.
sigining off, the commonjack.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
nothing to say.
X
that's a picture of me wearing a t-shirt with my name on it (but you can't see my name), the t-shirt is part of a collection of t-shirts that a few close friends and i share (each with a different picture that sorta represents it's owner) - like our own little club.
X
i started this entry with every intention to bitch and complain about how hopeless i feel at this very moment. but i change my mind.
X
on the other hand, i believe this is the very first time i've actually posted up a picture of myself on this blog. just a picture of myself for no particular reason.
X
that's an occasion to blog about i guess.
X
"Life is an incurable disease - birth and death the symptoms."
X
signing off, the commonjack.
Monday, May 01, 2006
hell on earth.
well, here we go, i've got about 3 weeks before i have to endure my own little personal hell on earth (probably self imposed).
i say self imposed for obvious reasons - but if you don't know me very well - then to elucidate matters for you - it is self imposed because:
1. it was my decision to do law in the end. as much as i'd like to blame anyone. i can't.
2. but more importantly, i'm not stupid, if i had prepared myself properly during the course of the year i wouldn't be feeling this shitty or worried. but i didn't.
so, here i am.
related exam fever posts below ...
shit. i see a rather uncomfortable pattern here. the worry that i carry with me is that this pattern may branch out to other aspects of my life. i tell myself that that can't happen. but i don't really have anything to show for it. not really.
and that's my main concern. it dawned on me the other day that next year, i' m going to hit 25. that's like a quarter of a decade. in fact, my Mum and i had a conversation the other night ...
i tell myself that this pattern can't continue because if it did - as my Mum said very aptly - i'm already an adult ... and if this continues - i could just die. literally. it'll be a slow painful death. but if i don't start achieving something ... anything that i can be proud of - i might just *die. i wouldn't be able to function like this for the rest of my life - hoping to scrape by. i just can't.
oh well - here we go.
signing off - the commonjack.
i say self imposed for obvious reasons - but if you don't know me very well - then to elucidate matters for you - it is self imposed because:
1. it was my decision to do law in the end. as much as i'd like to blame anyone. i can't.
2. but more importantly, i'm not stupid, if i had prepared myself properly during the course of the year i wouldn't be feeling this shitty or worried. but i didn't.
so, here i am.
ok, so the picture above looks a little extreme. but i have to admit - sometimes i feel like i'm not that far off when it comes to this. and it's mostly because of a particular worry i make reference to below.
related exam fever posts below ...
Tuesday, April 19, 2005 - "it's crunch time baby"
Tuesday, May 24, 2005 - "the really real world"
Sunday, May 29, 2005 - "i am an idiot"
and most recently ...
Thursday, March 30, 2006 - "i'm ashamed"
shit. i see a rather uncomfortable pattern here. the worry that i carry with me is that this pattern may branch out to other aspects of my life. i tell myself that that can't happen. but i don't really have anything to show for it. not really.
and that's my main concern. it dawned on me the other day that next year, i' m going to hit 25. that's like a quarter of a decade. in fact, my Mum and i had a conversation the other night ...
"How old are you this year?" Mum asked when i went up to her room to say good night.
"24 lah..." wondering if i should be worried that my own Mother can't remember how old i am.
she forms this grin and starts laughing to herself a little, "You know you're an adult already you know!" continues little chuckle...
"Yeah - I know lah ... so?" i replied in a somewhat defensive tone but not knowing why i sounded 'defensive' for.
i tell myself that this pattern can't continue because if it did - as my Mum said very aptly - i'm already an adult ... and if this continues - i could just die. literally. it'll be a slow painful death. but if i don't start achieving something ... anything that i can be proud of - i might just *die. i wouldn't be able to function like this for the rest of my life - hoping to scrape by. i just can't.
oh well - here we go.
signing off - the commonjack.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Extraordinary Machine
Fiona Apple is the bomb.
this is the latest song of hers that has found a place with me for many years to come.
i love the chorus. it's like the story of my life.
i'll let the lyrics speak for me. listen to it with the music and you'll fall for it too. in fact, go ahead, buy the album. you know you want to.
Extraordinary Machine.
Chorus:
I am the baby of the family, it happens, so
If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine
If there was a better way to go then it would find me
this is the latest song of hers that has found a place with me for many years to come.
i love the chorus. it's like the story of my life.
i'll let the lyrics speak for me. listen to it with the music and you'll fall for it too. in fact, go ahead, buy the album. you know you want to.
Extraordinary Machine.
I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes
-And-
I certainly haven't been spreading myself around
I still only travel by foot and by foot, it's a slow climb,
But I'm good at being uncomfortable, so
I can't stop changing all the time
I notice that my opponent is always on the go
-And-
Won't go slow, so's not to focus, and I notice
He'll hitch a ride with any guide, as long as
They go fast from whence he came-
But he's no good at being uncomfortable, so
He can't stop staying exactly the same
Chorus:
If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine
I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day
You deem me due to clean my view and be at peace and lay
I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way, and say,
I've been getting along for long before you came into the play
I am the baby of the family, it happens, so
- Everybody cares and wears the sheeps' clothes
While they chaperone
Curious, you looking down your nose at me, while you appease
- Courteous, to try and help - but let me set your
Mind at ease
If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine
Bridge:
-Do I so worry you, you need to hurry to my side?
-Do I so worry you, you need to hurry to my side?
-It's very kindBut it's to no avail; I don't want the bail
I promise you, everything will be just fine
If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine
signing off, the commonjack.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
this morning,
my handphone alarm rang at 9 am. i wake up and go through my early morning routine lah. i go downstairs to my kitchen - make myself a cup of coffee and get some sandwiches toasted in the sandwich toaster. the initial plan was - have a little breakfast, freshen up and read up a little on Jurisprudence (a subject i'm doing) before going to lectures which were to begin at 2pm at college.
i turn on the tv and was flipping channels as i was eating my breakfast. i hit ChannelV and the new video with Will.I.Am with Erykah Badu was playing ("That Heat" from Sergio Mendes). in it, Will was putting out some smooth moves which reminded me of the days i used perform dance stuff when i was a teen.
i always used to put up a front as if i didn't wanna do it - but inside i actually really wanted to! haha - yep, the secret's out.
anyway, this move he does in the video - real smooth like ... if you can imagine, he starts out with some fancy footwork then he slides out his right leg straight and his left leg bends and he touches ground with his right hand and immediately flips over on the right straight leg standing up again and does some more fancy footwork. damn cool. if you can picture it lah. :)
my signature move was somewhat similar, i used to start with some fancy footwork - cut into a MC Hammer style split, flip over to my stomache, do a push up, flip over and kick at the same time and if i could, i'd do a one handed somersault flip backwards on to my feet again! i wonder if i can still do that.
anyway, so there i was thinking about it ... and i suddenly get this itch to see if i could still do it. i finish up my breakfast and rush back into my room. now, there's not much space in my room so i couldn't try what i wanted to do. instead i tried to do what Will.I.Am did in the video and i ended up adding on my own little choreography since i couldn't remember what was the fancy footwork he did. what fun!
(i must sound so lame at this point. but what the heck...)
anyway, i do the whole move a few times and my Mum comes knocking on my door. i sit myself back down on my chair all sweaty and open the door.
Mum looks at me and goes, "What are you doing?"
and i of course say, "Nothing." and grinned back with beads of sweat on my forehead and sliding down my neck.
Mum says, "Ooooook..." and closes the door.
then i took a shower and tried to do my reading. :)
it was a cool little piece of dance i choreographed though. lol - one day, if i'm drunk enough and the opportunity arises for me to do it - i just might show it off.
signing off, the commonjack.
i turn on the tv and was flipping channels as i was eating my breakfast. i hit ChannelV and the new video with Will.I.Am with Erykah Badu was playing ("That Heat" from Sergio Mendes). in it, Will was putting out some smooth moves which reminded me of the days i used perform dance stuff when i was a teen.
i always used to put up a front as if i didn't wanna do it - but inside i actually really wanted to! haha - yep, the secret's out.
anyway, this move he does in the video - real smooth like ... if you can imagine, he starts out with some fancy footwork then he slides out his right leg straight and his left leg bends and he touches ground with his right hand and immediately flips over on the right straight leg standing up again and does some more fancy footwork. damn cool. if you can picture it lah. :)
my signature move was somewhat similar, i used to start with some fancy footwork - cut into a MC Hammer style split, flip over to my stomache, do a push up, flip over and kick at the same time and if i could, i'd do a one handed somersault flip backwards on to my feet again! i wonder if i can still do that.
anyway, so there i was thinking about it ... and i suddenly get this itch to see if i could still do it. i finish up my breakfast and rush back into my room. now, there's not much space in my room so i couldn't try what i wanted to do. instead i tried to do what Will.I.Am did in the video and i ended up adding on my own little choreography since i couldn't remember what was the fancy footwork he did. what fun!
(i must sound so lame at this point. but what the heck...)
anyway, i do the whole move a few times and my Mum comes knocking on my door. i sit myself back down on my chair all sweaty and open the door.
Mum looks at me and goes, "What are you doing?"
and i of course say, "Nothing." and grinned back with beads of sweat on my forehead and sliding down my neck.
Mum says, "Ooooook..." and closes the door.
then i took a shower and tried to do my reading. :)
it was a cool little piece of dance i choreographed though. lol - one day, if i'm drunk enough and the opportunity arises for me to do it - i just might show it off.
signing off, the commonjack.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Torn
"Any man can do any amount of work at any given time provided that it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing."
i think some guy named Robert Frost said that (or at least something to that effect lah).
anybody can relate to this quote. i am notoriously known to be doing many things all at once. from being a Law student, a kickboxing instructor, acting, writing, singing - etc ... i could be doing all these things at once. unfortunately, i'll be the first to admit that as a law student, i don't have much to show for it.
i guess - because i' m a little 'direction-less', i run on a day to day basis. thinking too far into the future takes me away from the present and leaves me worrying far too much about things that may nevre come about. a theory i've come up with, since i couldn't cope with being a Law student very well, i picked up whatever made me happy along the way.
acting, singing, writing, kickboxing ... all appealed to me on some substantial level some way or another - so whenever an opportunity arose to participate, i took them. initially, i didn't go looking very hard for opportunities. if they came up - cooland if not, no harm done. then, when things got a little miserable and i felt useless, i looked harder.
i'm thankful for understanding parents and family who allow me to indulge, knowing full well that something like my Law would probably suffer. they trusted me and that even if i fu**ed up - it was my life.
so that's how i ended up where i am now. being in 'it' here and now - i'd say that it isn't a good place to be in. (For various reasons.)
but that all depends on where i end up after innit? if i end up in a good place - i'd probably look back on being at this place as being necessary? who knows?
i have a friend who is conflicted about whether to pick up an offer to indulge or to stick with what pays the bills. i was hesitant to say anything because - i'd say 'indulge'. but then again - that's how i ended up where i am now. i wouldn't want to advise anyone to be where i am. i blabbered a little but i suppose in the end i threw the question back at my friend - "Up to you lah" - providing absolutely no help probably.
life's short. gotta do what you enjoy right? such an irresponsible lass i am.
aih...
signing off, the commonjack.
i think some guy named Robert Frost said that (or at least something to that effect lah).
anybody can relate to this quote. i am notoriously known to be doing many things all at once. from being a Law student, a kickboxing instructor, acting, writing, singing - etc ... i could be doing all these things at once. unfortunately, i'll be the first to admit that as a law student, i don't have much to show for it.
i guess - because i' m a little 'direction-less', i run on a day to day basis. thinking too far into the future takes me away from the present and leaves me worrying far too much about things that may nevre come about. a theory i've come up with, since i couldn't cope with being a Law student very well, i picked up whatever made me happy along the way.
acting, singing, writing, kickboxing ... all appealed to me on some substantial level some way or another - so whenever an opportunity arose to participate, i took them. initially, i didn't go looking very hard for opportunities. if they came up - cooland if not, no harm done. then, when things got a little miserable and i felt useless, i looked harder.
i'm thankful for understanding parents and family who allow me to indulge, knowing full well that something like my Law would probably suffer. they trusted me and that even if i fu**ed up - it was my life.
so that's how i ended up where i am now. being in 'it' here and now - i'd say that it isn't a good place to be in. (For various reasons.)
but that all depends on where i end up after innit? if i end up in a good place - i'd probably look back on being at this place as being necessary? who knows?
i have a friend who is conflicted about whether to pick up an offer to indulge or to stick with what pays the bills. i was hesitant to say anything because - i'd say 'indulge'. but then again - that's how i ended up where i am now. i wouldn't want to advise anyone to be where i am. i blabbered a little but i suppose in the end i threw the question back at my friend - "Up to you lah" - providing absolutely no help probably.
life's short. gotta do what you enjoy right? such an irresponsible lass i am.
aih...
signing off, the commonjack.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
a creed to live by indeed.
i try my best to do so. but almost impossible in reality innit?
feck this - i should be studying.
signing off - the commonjack.
i try my best to do so. but almost impossible in reality innit?
feck this - i should be studying.
signing off - the commonjack.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Morality?
"you think you know yourself boy? let me tell you something. you have no idea. "
that's more or less what Matt Dillon's character said to Philippe's character in the movie CRASH.
i watched that movie a long, long time ago before all the 'hoo-haa' of the awards and such. and i loved it. i put it in on a night i couldn't sleep and stayed up right to 4 am watching it. the opening line by Cheadle caught me and i was trapped. although the movie centred on the ugly issue of racism in the USA, the fact that racism is such a strong ugly element of human nature - it has a very universal flavour. anyone can identify with it in some way or other.
but i'm not going into a full on review on CRASH. obivously, it's a good movie. so, if you haven't watched it - it's a recommended watch for sure.
i just wanted to say, that the one thing that'll keep me humble is my belief that i have my own set of beliefs and moral standards - but i am acutely aware that, so does everyone else - and much akin to my view on 'opinions', just like assholes, everybody has one.
however, i always thought that people i am close friends with - well, i always thought that we'd share some semblance of that standard. recent events have made me realise that that is not necessarily true. a 'semblance' would perhaps be too strong a word - perhaps 'appreciation' for each others' standard would be more apt.
that led me to question, "Is that enough?" would you be able to still regard someone as a close friend if he/she did not share a 'semblance' of your own standard of morality?
would an 'appreciation' of your stand on matters be adequate?
it disturbed me for for awhile. this little anal train of thought which certainly is the product of one who is desperately avoiding doing what he is supposed to be doing (i should be studying!). but i believe i've reached a definitive conclusion on this matter.
i truly believe that i was asking a non-consequential question ie "Is that enough?"
surely, the question of consequence, the real bottom line, the one that counts is, "Regardless of whether that person shares your belief or so-called standard - would that person be someone you can count on?"
and that's when i realised, that regardless of whether people whom i regard as close friends share my beliefs/standards or not - they are people i can count on - no matter what. they'd go out of their way to help me do something i believe in even if they didn't themselves.
so, what do i then make of people who say things like, "I can't be friends with someone who does not share my beliefs/standards" ?
honestly, i think that is a very fair thing to say. but then again, that's not the pivotal statement is it? it should be, "I am friends with anyone I can truly count on to help me in anything I need help in. And I do mean anything."
oh well - i was just musing.
signing off, the commonjack.
that's more or less what Matt Dillon's character said to Philippe's character in the movie CRASH.
i watched that movie a long, long time ago before all the 'hoo-haa' of the awards and such. and i loved it. i put it in on a night i couldn't sleep and stayed up right to 4 am watching it. the opening line by Cheadle caught me and i was trapped. although the movie centred on the ugly issue of racism in the USA, the fact that racism is such a strong ugly element of human nature - it has a very universal flavour. anyone can identify with it in some way or other.
but i'm not going into a full on review on CRASH. obivously, it's a good movie. so, if you haven't watched it - it's a recommended watch for sure.
i just wanted to say, that the one thing that'll keep me humble is my belief that i have my own set of beliefs and moral standards - but i am acutely aware that, so does everyone else - and much akin to my view on 'opinions', just like assholes, everybody has one.
however, i always thought that people i am close friends with - well, i always thought that we'd share some semblance of that standard. recent events have made me realise that that is not necessarily true. a 'semblance' would perhaps be too strong a word - perhaps 'appreciation' for each others' standard would be more apt.
that led me to question, "Is that enough?" would you be able to still regard someone as a close friend if he/she did not share a 'semblance' of your own standard of morality?
would an 'appreciation' of your stand on matters be adequate?
it disturbed me for for awhile. this little anal train of thought which certainly is the product of one who is desperately avoiding doing what he is supposed to be doing (i should be studying!). but i believe i've reached a definitive conclusion on this matter.
i truly believe that i was asking a non-consequential question ie "Is that enough?"
surely, the question of consequence, the real bottom line, the one that counts is, "Regardless of whether that person shares your belief or so-called standard - would that person be someone you can count on?"
and that's when i realised, that regardless of whether people whom i regard as close friends share my beliefs/standards or not - they are people i can count on - no matter what. they'd go out of their way to help me do something i believe in even if they didn't themselves.
so, what do i then make of people who say things like, "I can't be friends with someone who does not share my beliefs/standards" ?
honestly, i think that is a very fair thing to say. but then again, that's not the pivotal statement is it? it should be, "I am friends with anyone I can truly count on to help me in anything I need help in. And I do mean anything."
oh well - i was just musing.
signing off, the commonjack.
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