i'm ashamed.

i'm ashamed to admit it. but the one thing that really scares me now. is my impending final exam. what a foolish thing to be afraid of ... something that i actually have the opportunity to prepare for and face down.



don't get me wrong. if you're thinking, "hey, everybody is afraid of exams." i'm talking about fear at another level. i've always been afraid of exams. academics - has never been my strong suit. however, that being said - normally i study sufficiently for an exam - the last time i think i was at least properly prepared to give an exam a good go was when i was doing STPM.

every other exam after that - i have to say - i didn't do myself justice.

since getting in law - my results have been significantly short of satisfactory. in fact, if you had to judge me on paper. i'm a dumbass. truly. my grades speak volumes - and nothing positive. you'd be thinking along the lines of..."This guy didn't do well at his course at all. He might as well just not have graduated." or if you were really nice, "This guy didn't study for his exams at all." - and the latter isn't saying much either is it?

i'm so afraid about how i'll do for this exam - that sometimes i feel incapacitated. for days at a time even. they all say that it really doesn't matter how you do. then again - they usually only say that to people who don't do well at all.

i'm ashamed to be afraid of a stupid thing like an exam. that's why i don't let it show. i make like i don't care.

but the truth is - it scares me.


signing off. the commonjack.