The 'Director' in me.

Dec 18th: The same day of my graduation - my brother brought back his Sony DV camera for me to use.

Before that day, I had wanted to shoot an idea for a short that I wanted to do as my 1st foray into film-making. The idea was aptly named "Crazy 8" - which is basically a short about a guy who could tell the future using a 'magic 8-ball'. I wrote it in less than an hour after thinking about it for several weeks. With specific friends in mind for each role, I wrote the entire thing seated on the floor while the crew was shooting something else. (I was the driver for the day and as such was not needed during the shoot.)

So, since Tuako (my eldest bro) was coming to KL from Singapore to attend my graduation. I told him to bring his camera along. No tripod though - this may be a problem. Also, I haven't figured out how to use the camera properly. Definitely a problem.

That aside, I read about BMW Shorties and decided that I want to concentrate on this first. I was a bit apprehensive about the whole idea in the beginning. After all, I don't even know how to use all the equipment that I have in hand. Like my brother's camera. And I've never edited before! (I bought and installed the latest Adobe Premiere editing programme into my computer.) On top of that, I don't know the first thing about using this programme. I suspect editing will be the toughest part of this whole experience.

Anyway, I thought about it, and decided, 'What the heck' - I'm gonna jump into this head first and see whether I float or not. I have enlisted Davina to be my main Actor - I think she looks amazing on camera, so I'm glad I've got her on board. And I feel like I have a strong story to tell. As long as I script it properly and then storyboard it properly and then shoot it properly and then edit it properly - it should make for a great watch. haha

All I am aiming for is to be shortlisted as the top 10. If I make it there - I'll be more than happy. If I don't - I haven't lost anything. :)

We had our first meeting on Christmas Eve and it lasted from 11am till about 5pm. Anrie came in halfway and she is now my "Creative Consultant".

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So, this is how madness looks like at the very beginning.

So far, I've spent about rm10 on buying the Adobe Premiere Prog. And thats it.

At least it's not costing me money yet. :) Alright - I'm out.

Anti Climax

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Myself.
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Well, I am now officially a Law Graduate. I have graduated with a 3rd Class honours LLB Degree. By the way, LLB is short for Legum Baccalaureus which is Latin for Bachelor of Laws. In case you cared to know lah. I figured I should at least know since I am holding an honours degree in it. And at one point, I believe I did. I just forgot about it for 2+ years and have now decided to dig it up again. So there.

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My Parents & I.

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I am very glad to be done with it and am very happy with the current path I am on. I am convinced that I am in the right line. Just what exactly I'll end up doing - for example,

a) Will I strictly be a Producer (which is what I'm gunning for now)?
b) Will I branch out into Directing (which I am working on trying my hand at with some personal projects)? Or
c) Will I end up just acting (in tv and theatre) and hopefully create some kind of a 'celebrity' status for myself so that I can make a living by emcee-ing events ... blah blah - you get my drift.

To be honest, I'd love it if I could just do option (c). Unfortunately, I haven't been blessed with that sort of luck yet. Maybe it'll come one day. I don't know. But I know that I can't be counting on that happenning and just wait around for it. I have to get my hands dirty doing something else now. Which is essentially what I'm doing.

Anyway, all that is one kettle of fish. Something which I believe will sort itself out eventually since I feel like I'm on the right track.
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My Brothers & I.
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This entry is not about all that. This entry is supposed to be about my 'anti-climax' of an end to me studies in Law.

If you know me, you'd immediately know that I was never into doing Law. It was something I ended up doing because I was convinced into believing that it was the best thing to do. And to a certain extent, I agree that studying law was indeed the best thing to do under my circumstances. The fact remains however that I could have done much better at it. But that is also, another story which I am not bothered to deal with since there is pretty much nothing I can do about it.

Moving on, my Graduation Ceremony was, to put it in a nutshell, 'anti-climatic'. There was no swelling pride in my belly for having finished law with an honours degree. No tearful display or any hint of such when I held my scroll in hand, wearing my graduating robe - shaking the hand of the person wishing me congratulations for a job well done.

Even when the Dean of External Studies from the University of London (UOL) said in his speech that graduating was no mere simple feat and that the UOL External LLB degree is easily one of the toughest degree programmes in the world. And touting statistics like,

"There are about 1 000 students graduating today. The number of students who registered for the external programme 3 or 4 years ago was approximately 3000 ++. That means only 1/3rd of you from that batch are graduating tonight. Think about that."

For a blink of a second, I thought about it, and I felt like ... "Wow. That's true. When you look at it that way , graduating at all is a cool thing." But I grounded myself immediately, knowing full well that I told myself from the very beginning, I didn't want to just graduate with a 3rd Class. Anyone can get a 3rd Class. It is not really that hard. And I know I'm better than that. Oh well.

At any rate, the anti-climatic feeling was not because the Graduation Ceremony and Dinner was a bore and terribly unorganised. (Although, that could have attributed to and compounded the feeling even further.) The reason for my feeling that way was more due to my utter feelings of detachment from the entire proceeding. In fact, I guess, throughout my 4 years of Law studies, I was never in it fully, I was always detached. I didn't feel like I was apart of that 1/3rd that was graduating that night. So, I couldn't feel proud of it.

It was a f*cked up feeling to feel.

I went home feeling like nothing happened. And this was supposed to be a sweet victory over my struggles with Law. And because of that, I did feel a little like I gained nothing from my 4 years of Law. Sure I got some insight and understanding with the mechanics of law. Sure I can now write better because of my practice with writing law essays and such. Sure there are other things too...But it still felt like nothing.

The next day I had a talk with my Dad. And he gave me one of those 'talks'. He did mention one thing that made more sense to me than anything else he said. He gave me a good idea on how not to feel like I've wasted my last 4 years studying Law. He advised me that, graduating with a Law Degree - although not planning on being apart of the practicing community, I am now inadvertently part of the fraternity. That because of that, I should keep abreast with the Bar Council. That I should be more aware about the legal surroundings of Malaysia and the world. Because I have studied it and have a grasp on the concept of law - better than that of a layman, that will set me apart from the next guy ... in whatever it is I end up doing.

You must think I'm silly for not thinking about that in the 1st place. But you must understand. I hated Law. I hated studying it. I hated myself for doing badly in it. I just wanted to get out of it.

But here I am, out of it - and still feeling like shit. Maybe I should do what my Dad advised. Maybe that way, I won't feel like I wasted 4 years of my life. Maybe then I can feel proud about being part of that 1/3rd that graduated that night.

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Anrie & I.

Being a PA / Kickboxing Instructor / etc.

Just in case you haven't figured it out - PA is an abbreviation for Production Assistant. Before I continue blabbering on about what my life has been like of late - I will first attempt to address the questions put forth to me in my blog entry "Ouch" by In3cate and Anonymous (Whom I assume is my eldest brother or as I call him -Tuako).

Basically, at present, I am aspiring to be a Producer.

In3cate: "What does a Producer do?"

Well, a Producer is essentially in charge of the financial aspects of executing a project. For example, now I am working on the new season of Nescafe Kickstart (Season 3). The Producer would have to oversee the overall financing of the show. Technically, we (Popiah Pictures) have been hired by Tv3 to execute this show for Nescafe / Nestle. In order for Popiah to make any kind of money, we must not spend over what we are being paid by Tv3 to do the program. (Obviously.)

Therefore, everything from searching for sponsors for the show, to the hiring of the camera crew, rate that we will pay the host, rental of whatever venue we may use ... etc. To put it in a nutshell, a Producer's mantra would probably be, "Bring down cost! Find lots of sponsors for everything! Tell them we put them on TV - we'll make you famous!" - you get the drift. That's the financial aspect largely covered.

Another essential aspect would be the Time-line - ie when does "Pre-production ie planning" starts, then "production" and finally "Post production". All the little nitty gritty things that goes into each stage of production has to be planned by the Producer with the help of his or her team of course. It's a lot like when I was doing Event Management really. Making phone calls to get dates, debating on pricing and planning out a calendar ... I'm helping out on all of these things now. In my capacity as a PA, I pretty much help with and do everything.

Also the overall conceptualising of a show and how it will be executed - the Producer also has a say in it since all that has to do with money! I have been privy to some of this conceptualisation and execution (for a 3rd project) as well - and this is the aspect I am enjoying most at present.

When I started work at Popiah Pictures, I was working on 3 projects simultaneously (doing all of the above). "A Brand New Christmas" directed by Douglas Lim for RTM was the first project I dealt with and the pre-production and production of that has come to pass. Now they are at Post -Production of which I am not privy to since Douglas is doing that on his own some place else.

The 2nd project is the current project I'm on ie Kickstart. We are now at Production phase - where I am constantly planning for outdoor shoots (trying to secure venues, sponsors, etc) at the office and then going out for shoot for a few days then back to the office again to plan for the next shoot. It's been riveting. Once again, I really feel like I'm working event management. But the end product being a show - which makes it that much more interesting for me.

At the same time, I'm also working on another reality program - for some reason, Popiah seems to be handling lots of these reality shows - and for those of you who have been mamak-ing with me of late, probably know what this 3rd project is. For the rest of you, I'm not sure if I should be flat out mentioning it here just yet. Although, who reads my blog anyway? lol

That being said, it's fun working on the 3rd project because I was pulled into it right at its very humble beginnings. I hope to be able to realy contribute constructively and effectively to make this a great show to watch. You'll probably read about it here in a more straightforward manner sometime in the near future.

Aside from all that, I still teach kickboxing when I can. Days when I don't have shoots - my working hours finish at about 6pm. So, I get to teach 7pm and 8.15pm sessions at TNT. I also still have some "Personal Training" (PT) students whom I arrange to have classes with as and when I am available. I usually do those classes on Sundays.

My schedule is pretty jam packed. But for some reason, it feels manageable. Still have time to come home for meals every once in a while. Still can hang out with my close friends now and again. And I even have time to spend with my girlfriend on most days.

It would be sweet if I could still act in theatre or TV. But unfortunately, I doubt that I'll have the time as long as I'm in this line at this stage of my life. Sigh...

We'll see how things go.

I'm out. Gotta be up at 6. F*ck. :) heh.