Extraordinary Machine

Fiona Apple is the bomb.

this is the latest song of hers that has found a place with me for many years to come.

i love the chorus. it's like the story of my life.

i'll let the lyrics speak for me. listen to it with the music and you'll fall for it too. in fact, go ahead, buy the album. you know you want to.

Extraordinary Machine.

I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes

-And-

I certainly haven't been spreading myself around

I still only travel by foot and by foot, it's a slow climb,

But I'm good at being uncomfortable, so

I can't stop changing all the time

I notice that my opponent is always on the go

-And-

Won't go slow, so's not to focus, and I notice

He'll hitch a ride with any guide, as long as

They go fast from whence he came-

But he's no good at being uncomfortable, so

He can't stop staying exactly the same

Chorus:

If there was a better way to go then it would find me

I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me

Be kind to me, or treat me mean

I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine

I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day

You deem me due to clean my view and be at peace and lay

I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way, and say,

I've been getting along for long before you came into the play

I am the baby of the family, it happens, so

- Everybody cares and wears the sheeps' clothes

While they chaperone

Curious, you looking down your nose at me, while you appease

- Courteous, to try and help - but let me set your

Mind at ease

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine

Bridge:
-Do I so worry you, you need to hurry to my side?

-It's very kindBut it's to no avail; I don't want the bail

I promise you, everything will be just fine

If there was a better way to go then it would find me

I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me

Be kind to me, or treat me mean

I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine

signing off, the commonjack.

this morning,

my handphone alarm rang at 9 am. i wake up and go through my early morning routine lah. i go downstairs to my kitchen - make myself a cup of coffee and get some sandwiches toasted in the sandwich toaster. the initial plan was - have a little breakfast, freshen up and read up a little on Jurisprudence (a subject i'm doing) before going to lectures which were to begin at 2pm at college.

i turn on the tv and was flipping channels as i was eating my breakfast. i hit ChannelV and the new video with Will.I.Am with Erykah Badu was playing ("That Heat" from Sergio Mendes). in it, Will was putting out some smooth moves which reminded me of the days i used perform dance stuff when i was a teen.

i always used to put up a front as if i didn't wanna do it - but inside i actually really wanted to! haha - yep, the secret's out.

anyway, this move he does in the video - real smooth like ... if you can imagine, he starts out with some fancy footwork then he slides out his right leg straight and his left leg bends and he touches ground with his right hand and immediately flips over on the right straight leg standing up again and does some more fancy footwork. damn cool. if you can picture it lah. :)

my signature move was somewhat similar, i used to start with some fancy footwork - cut into a MC Hammer style split, flip over to my stomache, do a push up, flip over and kick at the same time and if i could, i'd do a one handed somersault flip backwards on to my feet again! i wonder if i can still do that.

anyway, so there i was thinking about it ... and i suddenly get this itch to see if i could still do it. i finish up my breakfast and rush back into my room. now, there's not much space in my room so i couldn't try what i wanted to do. instead i tried to do what Will.I.Am did in the video and i ended up adding on my own little choreography since i couldn't remember what was the fancy footwork he did. what fun!

(i must sound so lame at this point. but what the heck...)

anyway, i do the whole move a few times and my Mum comes knocking on my door. i sit myself back down on my chair all sweaty and open the door.

Mum looks at me and goes, "What are you doing?"

and i of course say, "Nothing." and grinned back with beads of sweat on my forehead and sliding down my neck.

Mum says, "Ooooook..." and closes the door.

then i took a shower and tried to do my reading. :)

it was a cool little piece of dance i choreographed though. lol - one day, if i'm drunk enough and the opportunity arises for me to do it - i just might show it off.

signing off, the commonjack.

Torn

"Any man can do any amount of work at any given time provided that it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing."

i think some guy named Robert Frost said that (or at least something to that effect lah).

anybody can relate to this quote. i am notoriously known to be doing many things all at once. from being a Law student, a kickboxing instructor, acting, writing, singing - etc ... i could be doing all these things at once. unfortunately, i'll be the first to admit that as a law student, i don't have much to show for it.

i guess - because i' m a little 'direction-less', i run on a day to day basis. thinking too far into the future takes me away from the present and leaves me worrying far too much about things that may nevre come about. a theory i've come up with, since i couldn't cope with being a Law student very well, i picked up whatever made me happy along the way.

acting, singing, writing, kickboxing ... all appealed to me on some substantial level some way or another - so whenever an opportunity arose to participate, i took them. initially, i didn't go looking very hard for opportunities. if they came up - cooland if not, no harm done. then, when things got a little miserable and i felt useless, i looked harder.

i'm thankful for understanding parents and family who allow me to indulge, knowing full well that something like my Law would probably suffer. they trusted me and that even if i fu**ed up - it was my life.

so that's how i ended up where i am now. being in 'it' here and now - i'd say that it isn't a good place to be in. (For various reasons.)

but that all depends on where i end up after innit? if i end up in a good place - i'd probably look back on being at this place as being necessary? who knows?

i have a friend who is conflicted about whether to pick up an offer to indulge or to stick with what pays the bills. i was hesitant to say anything because - i'd say 'indulge'. but then again - that's how i ended up where i am now. i wouldn't want to advise anyone to be where i am. i blabbered a little but i suppose in the end i threw the question back at my friend - "Up to you lah" - providing absolutely no help probably.

life's short. gotta do what you enjoy right? such an irresponsible lass i am.

aih...

signing off, the commonjack.

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

a creed to live by indeed.

i try my best to do so. but almost impossible in reality innit?

feck this - i should be studying.

signing off - the commonjack.

Morality?

"you think you know yourself boy? let me tell you something. you have no idea. "

that's more or less what Matt Dillon's character said to Philippe's character in the movie CRASH.

i watched that movie a long, long time ago before all the 'hoo-haa' of the awards and such. and i loved it. i put it in on a night i couldn't sleep and stayed up right to 4 am watching it. the opening line by Cheadle caught me and i was trapped. although the movie centred on the ugly issue of racism in the USA, the fact that racism is such a strong ugly element of human nature - it has a very universal flavour. anyone can identify with it in some way or other.

but i'm not going into a full on review on CRASH. obivously, it's a good movie. so, if you haven't watched it - it's a recommended watch for sure.

i just wanted to say, that the one thing that'll keep me humble is my belief that i have my own set of beliefs and moral standards - but i am acutely aware that, so does everyone else - and much akin to my view on 'opinions', just like assholes, everybody has one.

however, i always thought that people i am close friends with - well, i always thought that we'd share some semblance of that standard. recent events have made me realise that that is not necessarily true. a 'semblance' would perhaps be too strong a word - perhaps 'appreciation' for each others' standard would be more apt.

that led me to question, "Is that enough?" would you be able to still regard someone as a close friend if he/she did not share a 'semblance' of your own standard of morality?

would an 'appreciation' of your stand on matters be adequate?

it disturbed me for for awhile. this little anal train of thought which certainly is the product of one who is desperately avoiding doing what he is supposed to be doing (i should be studying!). but i believe i've reached a definitive conclusion on this matter.

i truly believe that i was asking a non-consequential question ie "Is that enough?"

surely, the question of consequence, the real bottom line, the one that counts is, "Regardless of whether that person shares your belief or so-called standard - would that person be someone you can count on?"

and that's when i realised, that regardless of whether people whom i regard as close friends share my beliefs/standards or not - they are people i can count on - no matter what. they'd go out of their way to help me do something i believe in even if they didn't themselves.

so, what do i then make of people who say things like, "I can't be friends with someone who does not share my beliefs/standards" ?

honestly, i think that is a very fair thing to say. but then again, that's not the pivotal statement is it? it should be, "I am friends with anyone I can truly count on to help me in anything I need help in. And I do mean anything."

oh well - i was just musing.

signing off, the commonjack.