Torn

"Any man can do any amount of work at any given time provided that it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing."

i think some guy named Robert Frost said that (or at least something to that effect lah).

anybody can relate to this quote. i am notoriously known to be doing many things all at once. from being a Law student, a kickboxing instructor, acting, writing, singing - etc ... i could be doing all these things at once. unfortunately, i'll be the first to admit that as a law student, i don't have much to show for it.

i guess - because i' m a little 'direction-less', i run on a day to day basis. thinking too far into the future takes me away from the present and leaves me worrying far too much about things that may nevre come about. a theory i've come up with, since i couldn't cope with being a Law student very well, i picked up whatever made me happy along the way.

acting, singing, writing, kickboxing ... all appealed to me on some substantial level some way or another - so whenever an opportunity arose to participate, i took them. initially, i didn't go looking very hard for opportunities. if they came up - cooland if not, no harm done. then, when things got a little miserable and i felt useless, i looked harder.

i'm thankful for understanding parents and family who allow me to indulge, knowing full well that something like my Law would probably suffer. they trusted me and that even if i fu**ed up - it was my life.

so that's how i ended up where i am now. being in 'it' here and now - i'd say that it isn't a good place to be in. (For various reasons.)

but that all depends on where i end up after innit? if i end up in a good place - i'd probably look back on being at this place as being necessary? who knows?

i have a friend who is conflicted about whether to pick up an offer to indulge or to stick with what pays the bills. i was hesitant to say anything because - i'd say 'indulge'. but then again - that's how i ended up where i am now. i wouldn't want to advise anyone to be where i am. i blabbered a little but i suppose in the end i threw the question back at my friend - "Up to you lah" - providing absolutely no help probably.

life's short. gotta do what you enjoy right? such an irresponsible lass i am.

aih...

signing off, the commonjack.