dear ladies and gents,
visit commonjackslomo.blogspot.com for my very own collection of lomo pics.
in the future, you may click on MY LOMO PICS! under my links.
hope it keeps you reasonably entertained.
signing off - the commonjack.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Monday, September 26, 2005
Mortality.
according to dictionary.com - mortality is "the quality or condition of being mortal".
i come from a family in which i am 13 years and 10 years younger than my 2 other elder siblings. unlike most of my friends, my parents are not merely in their 50's - but are now well on their way into mid 60's. its scares me a little to think that when i arrive at my 30's like my brothers, i will not have the benefit of my parents being as 'keen' and 'alert' as they are now.
when i arrive at my 30's - which would be a solid 10 years from now - my parents would be in their 70's.
i'm not too sure but isn't the average life expectancy up to about 70-ish?
my brothers - in their 30's currently have only just begun their journey into the next phase of life...my eldest brother has started his own family. with one wife, one kid and another one on the way. methinks my 2nd brother has also begun to leave his 'playboy' days and is now properly looking. both of them already having a rather steady career path to trod along on - having their own homes...etc...
it's a little disconcerting to imagine myself being at that stage of my life later on - but without my parents around.
X
on a separate train of thought...
these days, i can see changes in the older generation of my family. people like my 'Ah Pak' ie my eldest uncle - my father's brother. there has been so much change in him. he used to be the guy in charge. he was the guy who would organise and get things going. from our 'cheng beng - where we go visit our ancestors graves and clean them and pay respect to their memory' to little dinners throughout the year. in a span of a mere 3 years, he now can barely stay awake if he is seated for too long. he can barely even walk up a small little hill at times without losing his balance.
another uncle of mine, on my father's side as well - 'Sei Pak' which basically means 4th uncle. he is a self made man. he started his own business and made his millions. always ready with something intelligent to say and would shoot down the brightest of scholars in a heartbeat because of his years of experience. age has slowed him down a lot. especially when it resulted in a fall which led to an operation to deal with a blood clot in his brain. after the operation - he is now almost like a child. it is quite sad.
basically - i can see a similar trait in all the men of my family regardless of generation. we are all very headstrong and strongwilled which can come across as just mere stubborness. we have a lot of pride in ourselves which allows us to carry ourselves with class and dignity which can also come across as stubborness.
one trait i find utterly similar in my father and his two brothers is the fact that they all have their pride and firmly believe that to be a leader of their own families, they have to be hard men. in the case of my uncles, i perceive them to be rather too hard on their children which to me - only makes it look as if they have very little faith in their own children.
that is the only difference between my father and his 2 brothers, he affords us more faith.
now that the tables are turned on my uncles ie the fact that they are no longer able to be in 'control' and order their children around - their children have taken over and seem to be 'ordering' him around instead. and its pitiful to see that because - my uncles don't seem to be treated with 'fatherly respect' right now.
i hope when the tables are turned on my own dad, my brothers and i will not do the same. hopefully, we will treat him with the 'fatherly respect' he deserves ... if only because unlike my 2 other uncles, he afforded in us more faith.
Monday, September 12, 2005
*sigh...
for those of you who don't already know and for those of you who actually wanna know,
i've received my results.
after all the shit i've had to go through to get them ie:
1. having to go down to college in KL - stressed as hell. as per the entry 'giler stress'.
2. then playing the waiting game for a phone call fr college. waited fr tues till fri - and i called them again as per 'update on results' - just to be told to wait till monday.
3. monday came - and i had to call London up to be greeted by nobody - which then resulted in me emailing them. only to be told to get in touch with the Examinations Syndicate in M'sia as per 'the results fiasco continues'.
4. when i went to their building - as per 'the results fiasco continues' - i am told that they've moved from Jalan Duta to Putrajaya(bloody on the other end of the world). so i call up their new number only to be told that they've sent my results to me via post.
so, technically, i went from KL to London to the Examinations Syndicate in Jalan Duta and then to the Examinations Syndicate in Putrajaya only to get my results sent to my very own house. i got it last friday, 9th Sept. and i only read it at 4 am on saturday, the 10th - cause i was out all day and most of the night.
and i guess - you'd be wondering how i did...
well - i passed. by the skin of my teeth. but who gives a shit? one more year. lets hope i can get my act together this time and do well.
till then.
later.
Friday, September 09, 2005
this is for the boys.
boys - we're all f**ked up in some way or another. we all know it. but the cool thing is - we don't really give a shit about that. we're all very different and it's becoming even more apparent these days than ever before. our personalities seem to clash and if you put our characteristics down on paper - it's a wonder we've all been friends for this long.
but as much as we clash - we blend well.
we never cared when other 'normal' people thought us useless or 'weird' or whatever negatives then can be thought up ... life was OK.
from the days when it was just a small group of us in Alisan, before we could drive, before we had work, before leaving school ... to the days when the small group became a bigger group at Zahir when all of us could drive and some of us had to work and all of us had left school ... and now.
this is a small tribute to all of you - people who i knew as boys and now are all becoming men. may life return to you guys all the 'companionship', 'ties' and 'connection' that all of you gave to me.
thanks boys. you know who you are.
ciao.
p/s: i just put up random photos lah. sorry guys - don't really have that many photos of all of us in my comp. i ain't the one with the digital camera. no favouritism going on here. heh.
but as much as we clash - we blend well.
we never cared when other 'normal' people thought us useless or 'weird' or whatever negatives then can be thought up ... life was OK.
from the days when it was just a small group of us in Alisan, before we could drive, before we had work, before leaving school ... to the days when the small group became a bigger group at Zahir when all of us could drive and some of us had to work and all of us had left school ... and now.
this is a small tribute to all of you - people who i knew as boys and now are all becoming men. may life return to you guys all the 'companionship', 'ties' and 'connection' that all of you gave to me.
thanks boys. you know who you are.
ciao.
p/s: i just put up random photos lah. sorry guys - don't really have that many photos of all of us in my comp. i ain't the one with the digital camera. no favouritism going on here. heh.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
this can't be it.
i'm pissed off all the time. just the other day my friend spongy said, "you ever get to a point in your life where you feel things are so good, you feel like testing it? like tryin' to phuck up on purpose and see whether things still turn out good??"
well - he didn't say that exactly lah, but thats the gist of it.
and the reply that i came up with was rather disturbing - although i just laughed it off at the time.
i said, "no. i've never been at such a point before. most of the time - for me - things are so bad that i think it can't get any worse. so, to test whether it could get any worse - i try and f**k up some more just to see if it does get any worse."
well, i don't have anything to say anymore.
funny how that works.
i'm just pissed off. who isn't?
enough of this shit. later.
well - he didn't say that exactly lah, but thats the gist of it.
and the reply that i came up with was rather disturbing - although i just laughed it off at the time.
i said, "no. i've never been at such a point before. most of the time - for me - things are so bad that i think it can't get any worse. so, to test whether it could get any worse - i try and f**k up some more just to see if it does get any worse."
well, i don't have anything to say anymore.
funny how that works.
i'm just pissed off. who isn't?
enough of this shit. later.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
the results fiasco continues.
monday came. no results. i decided to get in touch with someone in London. tried calling. nobody picked up. so i sent an email. i received the reply in the afternoon. i was told to get in touch with the M'sian Examinations Syndicate. i called up my college and they gave me a number.
tried calling and couldn't get through. so, today i drove to the Examinations Syndicate building over at Jalan Duta. turns out, they've moved to Putrajaya! i wasn't about to take a 45 minute drive there and take another 45 mins back! so i asked for a number to call and called.
took me about 15 mins to explain to the clueless person on the other side of the line what it is i wanted - only to be told that they had received the results from London but have only just posted them to the relevant recepients (such as moi) yesterday!
"do you all have a copy of the results?" i ask.
"no." they answer.
"so how?" i ask.
"wait lah." they say.
f**king hell.
tried calling and couldn't get through. so, today i drove to the Examinations Syndicate building over at Jalan Duta. turns out, they've moved to Putrajaya! i wasn't about to take a 45 minute drive there and take another 45 mins back! so i asked for a number to call and called.
took me about 15 mins to explain to the clueless person on the other side of the line what it is i wanted - only to be told that they had received the results from London but have only just posted them to the relevant recepients (such as moi) yesterday!
"do you all have a copy of the results?" i ask.
"no." they answer.
"so how?" i ask.
"wait lah." they say.
f**king hell.
Monday, September 05, 2005
the good stuff.
when times get tough - a wise man said, "try and remember the good stuff..."
so here i am trying to remember the good stuff. and i came across my own friendster account. but before i there - allow me a little trip off tangent for a moment...
the art of writing a testimonial for another person.
according to dictionary.com - testimonial means:
A written affirmation of another's character or worth; a personal recommendation.
its quite a meaningful thing. its a PERSONAL recommendation. an AFFIRMATION of another's character or worth ... geez - i don't know about you, but i think it's quite a big deal. what i personally feel about another person's worth - the testimonials i write for others are well thought up and are not written or given for the mere sake of doing a testimonial. if i do one, i'd wanna try my utmost to make it worth something.
and yet you get a lot of people out there writing stuff like - "...he's nice, she's sweet, yada yada...". i guess it's just me making a mountain out of a molehill but i think those sort of adjectives make me go, "oh really? well, thanks."
when i write a testimonial, i want to try and make the recepient of it go, "WOW. i never knew he thought of me that way..." and hopefully give the person a little smile.
at that - i digress. back to "the good stuff".
reading some of the good stuff friends wrote about me are really cool. most of them put a little smile on my face. but the best was one that came from an unlikely source. someone whom i didn't think knew me that well and yet she saw parts of me i never really noticed myself. (LOL - i just realised this last sentence sounds a little dodgy...but nevermind...)
reading what she wrote about me always puts a smile on my face...so here it is for you guys to have a little read.
*Commonjack is my ever-ready most dependable guy in law school - although I started off thinking that he was a flake for flaking off our attempts of study-meets so many times. Little did he suspect, I was actually quite happy to flake off myself too, but will never allow myself the indulgence unless someone else flaked off the meeting.. ooh, what a blah..
anyway, *Commonjack and his occasional 'out of the blue', 'no reason at all', 'though it seems like a very good reason to join him' chuckles, halfway through class, makes me want to sit next to him every single time.
Plus he is always following what is going on in class if I ever get lost. And he doesn't gossip or complain or blab incessantly like most people his age, *Commonjack was my appointed shepherd for my law studies.. but alas I was the lost sheep without the brains to find my way. It shows that I am the bigger flake..
For all his wonderfully mad stories, which he installed at my website .http://poesyliang.net has no doubt entertained lots of idiots out there, me included. Fellow idiots, do click here to read Shawn John Michael here .http://www.poesyliang.net/Article_view.asp?CatID=18. for hours of wonderfully idiotic pleasure. You will find yourself achieving that 'idiotic no reason at all' chuckle that Michael has perfected. The danger is it WILL be infectious. Oh well, perhaps the world needs more chuckling idiots than angry 20-somethings...
All in all, *Commonjack, thanks for standing out during the first day of the Criminal Law lectures or I wouldn't have spotted you like the bossy bitch vulture I am.
Little did I know that you are an aspiring stage performer. Thank god you don't have that naturally vain personality or I would have to delete you from my Friendster. Keep up the great job in being the earnestly good boy you try to be.
Good luck for your exams. Pass me all your notes and sell me all your books after that please? Haha..
that was testimonial number 1. then she wrote me a second one! (after i wrote her a pretty good one myself! heh)
Thanks for writing one of the best testimonials for me. It was thought provoking.
*Commonjack is generously helpful too. He got my registration forms and sent it all the way to my house with a crazy companion one night. If he didn't do that, I would probably be a law school drop-out (although there is no saying that I wouldn't be, just that with his help I won't drop out this year).
GURLSSSSS. This is the man! The epitome of a sensitive gay man in a heterosexual being. Goodlooking (a bit hitam manis), gentleman, potentially dresses well (he doesn't seem to care), smart, very sensitive, earnest to goodness.
Don't you ever turn gay or I won't have an example of good guys out there who likes women. And don't ever be a two-timing bastards like so many guys out there who has it all. Anyway, hang in there bloke with your studies.
Don't tear your hair out cos I think you look better with hair!
yep. that's it. poesy, if you ever read this - thank you.
aih - f**kin' exam results...i still don't have 'em!
so here i am trying to remember the good stuff. and i came across my own friendster account. but before i there - allow me a little trip off tangent for a moment...
the art of writing a testimonial for another person.
according to dictionary.com - testimonial means:
A written affirmation of another's character or worth; a personal recommendation.
its quite a meaningful thing. its a PERSONAL recommendation. an AFFIRMATION of another's character or worth ... geez - i don't know about you, but i think it's quite a big deal. what i personally feel about another person's worth - the testimonials i write for others are well thought up and are not written or given for the mere sake of doing a testimonial. if i do one, i'd wanna try my utmost to make it worth something.
and yet you get a lot of people out there writing stuff like - "...he's nice, she's sweet, yada yada...". i guess it's just me making a mountain out of a molehill but i think those sort of adjectives make me go, "oh really? well, thanks."
when i write a testimonial, i want to try and make the recepient of it go, "WOW. i never knew he thought of me that way..." and hopefully give the person a little smile.
at that - i digress. back to "the good stuff".
reading some of the good stuff friends wrote about me are really cool. most of them put a little smile on my face. but the best was one that came from an unlikely source. someone whom i didn't think knew me that well and yet she saw parts of me i never really noticed myself. (LOL - i just realised this last sentence sounds a little dodgy...but nevermind...)
reading what she wrote about me always puts a smile on my face...so here it is for you guys to have a little read.
*Commonjack is my ever-ready most dependable guy in law school - although I started off thinking that he was a flake for flaking off our attempts of study-meets so many times. Little did he suspect, I was actually quite happy to flake off myself too, but will never allow myself the indulgence unless someone else flaked off the meeting.. ooh, what a blah..
anyway, *Commonjack and his occasional 'out of the blue', 'no reason at all', 'though it seems like a very good reason to join him' chuckles, halfway through class, makes me want to sit next to him every single time.
Plus he is always following what is going on in class if I ever get lost. And he doesn't gossip or complain or blab incessantly like most people his age, *Commonjack was my appointed shepherd for my law studies.. but alas I was the lost sheep without the brains to find my way. It shows that I am the bigger flake..
For all his wonderfully mad stories, which he installed at my website .http://poesyliang.net has no doubt entertained lots of idiots out there, me included. Fellow idiots, do click here to read Shawn John Michael here .http://www.poesyliang.net/Article_view.asp?CatID=18. for hours of wonderfully idiotic pleasure. You will find yourself achieving that 'idiotic no reason at all' chuckle that Michael has perfected. The danger is it WILL be infectious. Oh well, perhaps the world needs more chuckling idiots than angry 20-somethings...
All in all, *Commonjack, thanks for standing out during the first day of the Criminal Law lectures or I wouldn't have spotted you like the bossy bitch vulture I am.
Little did I know that you are an aspiring stage performer. Thank god you don't have that naturally vain personality or I would have to delete you from my Friendster. Keep up the great job in being the earnestly good boy you try to be.
Good luck for your exams. Pass me all your notes and sell me all your books after that please? Haha..
that was testimonial number 1. then she wrote me a second one! (after i wrote her a pretty good one myself! heh)
Thanks for writing one of the best testimonials for me. It was thought provoking.
*Commonjack is generously helpful too. He got my registration forms and sent it all the way to my house with a crazy companion one night. If he didn't do that, I would probably be a law school drop-out (although there is no saying that I wouldn't be, just that with his help I won't drop out this year).
GURLSSSSS. This is the man! The epitome of a sensitive gay man in a heterosexual being. Goodlooking (a bit hitam manis), gentleman, potentially dresses well (he doesn't seem to care), smart, very sensitive, earnest to goodness.
Don't you ever turn gay or I won't have an example of good guys out there who likes women. And don't ever be a two-timing bastards like so many guys out there who has it all. Anyway, hang in there bloke with your studies.
Don't tear your hair out cos I think you look better with hair!
yep. that's it. poesy, if you ever read this - thank you.
aih - f**kin' exam results...i still don't have 'em!
Saturday, September 03, 2005
update on results.
for those of you who actually wanna know lah...
some massive cock-up going on... long story short - they are sending my results to me via email.
"when?" i ask.
"if not this week then by next Monday" they say.
"oh" i say.
and that's it. what to do? bum around some more lah!
f**k - i'm not even sure whether i'm worried anymore. i don't know what to feel about it.
it's like i'm waiting for the 'knife' to fall ... but i don't even know whether i should be afraid of it anymore...
later.
some massive cock-up going on... long story short - they are sending my results to me via email.
"when?" i ask.
"if not this week then by next Monday" they say.
"oh" i say.
and that's it. what to do? bum around some more lah!
f**k - i'm not even sure whether i'm worried anymore. i don't know what to feel about it.
it's like i'm waiting for the 'knife' to fall ... but i don't even know whether i should be afraid of it anymore...
later.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
giler stress. (f**king results)
ok - here's what happened. this entry is directly connected to the previous entry entitled 'humour me'. this entry would be about my results.
basically, on the Aug 29th - i received a text letting me know that the much dreaded results of my bloody exam were being released. but i was working and i couldn't go get them. so i figured i go get it early the next day and beat the masses lah.
couldn't sleep the whole night - worried like a sick little idiot, wondering what would happen if this or that or this or that happened...
however, i did fall asleep eventually. and as such - woke up later than i wanted to. so i ended up at college at around 12 ish pm instead of in the morning. then i was told that my results were with the vice principal. so i had to go and see him. went into his office and had to wait around for about 10 minutes before he could speak to me because he was busy speaking to other people on the phone.
after which - he asked me for my candidate number - which i of course forgot. he tried looking for my name but couldn't find it. so i was instructed to go home and look for it and call him back.
geez - as if it didn't take so much out of me just to bloody drive to college by myself to get my results in the 1st place. now i was being forced to wait even longer. so i reach home. got my number and called the college up again.
just to be told that they couldn't find my results again, "...oh i'm sorry. it looks like you're one of those students whose results have been misplaced. give me your name and number, i will calling the Uni of London up to source out your results. and we'll be in touch with you within the next few days."
within the next few days!?? what the hell does that mean! geez. so, yeah. thats what happened.
f**ks.
basically, on the Aug 29th - i received a text letting me know that the much dreaded results of my bloody exam were being released. but i was working and i couldn't go get them. so i figured i go get it early the next day and beat the masses lah.
couldn't sleep the whole night - worried like a sick little idiot, wondering what would happen if this or that or this or that happened...
however, i did fall asleep eventually. and as such - woke up later than i wanted to. so i ended up at college at around 12 ish pm instead of in the morning. then i was told that my results were with the vice principal. so i had to go and see him. went into his office and had to wait around for about 10 minutes before he could speak to me because he was busy speaking to other people on the phone.
after which - he asked me for my candidate number - which i of course forgot. he tried looking for my name but couldn't find it. so i was instructed to go home and look for it and call him back.
geez - as if it didn't take so much out of me just to bloody drive to college by myself to get my results in the 1st place. now i was being forced to wait even longer. so i reach home. got my number and called the college up again.
just to be told that they couldn't find my results again, "...oh i'm sorry. it looks like you're one of those students whose results have been misplaced. give me your name and number, i will calling the Uni of London up to source out your results. and we'll be in touch with you within the next few days."
within the next few days!?? what the hell does that mean! geez. so, yeah. thats what happened.
f**ks.
Friday, August 26, 2005
La Vita e Bella.
taking a cue from my dear friend habitualdamnation - i have decided to do a little review - simply because i don't feel like blogging anything too personal at the moment. i'm in a fragile state right now - i just might reveal more than i'd like. see ... i'm doing it right now!
i digress.
as i was saying, this is an entry about La Vita e Bella which is italian for Life is Beautiful. (click to read a proper full on review. what you will read here is merely my own opinion which is obviously rather biased.) The movie is the product of Italian comic sensation Roberto Benigni, who wore three hats for Life is Beautiful: director, co-writer, and star.
this movie holds some sentimental value for me in fact. for i bagged my 1st ever girlfriend watching this movie at TGV 1U at the tender age of 16. it is rather unfortunate that the ensuing relationship was far less memorable if compared to the movie. haha.
at any rate, i believe that this movie is excellent. you could split this movie down in half because there are 2 very separate tones to the movie.
the 1st half would be about Roberto's character, Guido travelling to the city. i myself grew fond of his character for his 'life' and energy. believing he could do anything simply because he wanted to. life was - in a sense - just that simple for him. Guido was a very intelligent and yet very modest man who only needed a few things to be happy. all he wanted was his own bookshop, a woman whom he could love as a wife and a child whom he could love and care for as well. and he wasn't settling - that's just all he wanted - and you gotta respect that.
whilst you get to know Guido - you also become witness to how he meets with his love interest Dora who is played by Nicoletta Brashi, who happens to be Roberto's real life wife. how he then continues to woo Dora off her feet may come across as rather corny and even perhaps 'lame' at some points because of the 'unrealistic' nature of how things seemed to just 'happen' for him. i think it was done rather tastefully and 'just right'. it is after all just a movie and the intended effect of this particular part of the movie is (i would imagine) to make you smile to yourself and go 'hmm...' wistfully - knowing full well that it is totally unbelievable but it would be nice if something like that actually did happen. and actually, why not right?
the slapstick comedy and played out skits that i can only describe as 'Mr.Bean-ish' because of their elaborate nature may make you roll your eyes but i think it never crossed the line of 'lame-ness' and remained funny. intelligently so even.
then, once he successfully woos Dora, you fastforward a few years later to 1945 - and you arrive at the 2nd half of the movie - where the whole tone changes entirely. it becomes more serious, although in a light sort of way - there are many sub-text to be revealed if you think about it while watching. Guido now has his bookshop, a wife he loves and a 5 year old son. WWII is coming to an end and Jewish families were all being rounded up and being sent to concentration camps. the too young and the too old were sent to their deaths while the able bodied men and women were made to carry out 'slave' work.
Guido then feeds his son an illusion that they were actually all playing a game - so that the reality of the situation didn't sink in. Guido maintains this facade throughout their stay in the concentration camp while hiding his son from their captors since children were put to death as well. he does so even in the most dire of circumstances, even after he had a full days worth of 'slave' work and at the same time he reaches out to his wife, Dora whenever he got the chance. you see, men and women were separated in this camp and weren't allowed to see each other. Dora didn't even know whether Guido and her son were dead or alive. but Guido made sure that she knew - by stealing moments on the public announcement system or playing her favourite opera music and making sure the women's quarters could hear it.
it's truly an inspiring movie. Guido keeps up the facade right up to the very end - giving his wife, Dora and his son one of the most important things one must have but struggles to hold on to under such circumstances - hope.
i won't spoil the movie for you - if you haven't watched it - you should. let me re-iterate that - you simply must.
because despite all of life's flaws and tribulations - life can be truly beautiful. La Vita e Bella.
signing off, the commonjack.
p/s: memorable lines: off the top of my head right now...
"...we may be waiters who serve but we are never servants. just as God is the ultimate servant, He serves us but is not our servant. remember that."
there are more - but i can't remember the exact words at the moment - heh - will add them on later.
i digress.
as i was saying, this is an entry about La Vita e Bella which is italian for Life is Beautiful. (click to read a proper full on review. what you will read here is merely my own opinion which is obviously rather biased.) The movie is the product of Italian comic sensation Roberto Benigni, who wore three hats for Life is Beautiful: director, co-writer, and star.
this movie holds some sentimental value for me in fact. for i bagged my 1st ever girlfriend watching this movie at TGV 1U at the tender age of 16. it is rather unfortunate that the ensuing relationship was far less memorable if compared to the movie. haha.
at any rate, i believe that this movie is excellent. you could split this movie down in half because there are 2 very separate tones to the movie.
the 1st half would be about Roberto's character, Guido travelling to the city. i myself grew fond of his character for his 'life' and energy. believing he could do anything simply because he wanted to. life was - in a sense - just that simple for him. Guido was a very intelligent and yet very modest man who only needed a few things to be happy. all he wanted was his own bookshop, a woman whom he could love as a wife and a child whom he could love and care for as well. and he wasn't settling - that's just all he wanted - and you gotta respect that.
whilst you get to know Guido - you also become witness to how he meets with his love interest Dora who is played by Nicoletta Brashi, who happens to be Roberto's real life wife. how he then continues to woo Dora off her feet may come across as rather corny and even perhaps 'lame' at some points because of the 'unrealistic' nature of how things seemed to just 'happen' for him. i think it was done rather tastefully and 'just right'. it is after all just a movie and the intended effect of this particular part of the movie is (i would imagine) to make you smile to yourself and go 'hmm...' wistfully - knowing full well that it is totally unbelievable but it would be nice if something like that actually did happen. and actually, why not right?
the slapstick comedy and played out skits that i can only describe as 'Mr.Bean-ish' because of their elaborate nature may make you roll your eyes but i think it never crossed the line of 'lame-ness' and remained funny. intelligently so even.
then, once he successfully woos Dora, you fastforward a few years later to 1945 - and you arrive at the 2nd half of the movie - where the whole tone changes entirely. it becomes more serious, although in a light sort of way - there are many sub-text to be revealed if you think about it while watching. Guido now has his bookshop, a wife he loves and a 5 year old son. WWII is coming to an end and Jewish families were all being rounded up and being sent to concentration camps. the too young and the too old were sent to their deaths while the able bodied men and women were made to carry out 'slave' work.
Guido then feeds his son an illusion that they were actually all playing a game - so that the reality of the situation didn't sink in. Guido maintains this facade throughout their stay in the concentration camp while hiding his son from their captors since children were put to death as well. he does so even in the most dire of circumstances, even after he had a full days worth of 'slave' work and at the same time he reaches out to his wife, Dora whenever he got the chance. you see, men and women were separated in this camp and weren't allowed to see each other. Dora didn't even know whether Guido and her son were dead or alive. but Guido made sure that she knew - by stealing moments on the public announcement system or playing her favourite opera music and making sure the women's quarters could hear it.
it's truly an inspiring movie. Guido keeps up the facade right up to the very end - giving his wife, Dora and his son one of the most important things one must have but struggles to hold on to under such circumstances - hope.
i won't spoil the movie for you - if you haven't watched it - you should. let me re-iterate that - you simply must.
because despite all of life's flaws and tribulations - life can be truly beautiful. La Vita e Bella.
signing off, the commonjack.
p/s: memorable lines: off the top of my head right now...
"...we may be waiters who serve but we are never servants. just as God is the ultimate servant, He serves us but is not our servant. remember that."
there are more - but i can't remember the exact words at the moment - heh - will add them on later.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
it's coming.
woah ... the months have really flown by.
i feel like i've been in a form of hibernation. not sure of what to do and as such i do a little bit of this and a little bit of that - just to keep me busy until hibernation period is up. i do stuff with minor goals in sight but nothing really concrete because i have no idea what i'll have to do once my results come out.
if they are good - life goes on. and i'll handle whatever that comes my way.
if they are bad - i might have to think about quitting. i might have to think of alternatives. or i may just have to go on. none of which are prospects i look forward to in any way.
for more info on what i'm talking about above...refer to past entry entitled, 'humour me'.
so what have i been doing in the past 3 months of my holidays? well, i've worked a lot. asking my manager to give me any class he needs me in. cause i'm flexible and well, work helps keeps my mind off things. also, the extra cash would come in handy.
what else, i've done more writing - as mentioned in previous entry of alone. but that has been going rather slower than i would like. i've tried writing more songs but i seem to have stumbled upon another block. i did sing more and even performed an open mic session as per my singing debut. i'm in the acting class as per the acting saga continues.
umm, i also put my effort in looking for 'voice over' gigs with relevant companies all over town. of course, from this - nothing has come to fruition.
i got a small role in a local tv drama. nothing big. but it was cool to be a part of that. check it out if you're free, it's impian illyana on NTV7 almost every other day. you can check out the local newspaper regarding when it is showing or you can click here. i should be in episodes 30 - 40. no, not all of them but 1 or 2 episodes back to back ie it could be epi34 and epi35 or the like. to be honest, i'm not sure.
i've also bought a new lomo camera. http://www.lomography.com/about/ is a site you can go to if you have no idea what a lomo camera is. i bought the lomo camera which is called the action sampler and mine has flash capabilities so that i can take pictures at night and in dark places. since i can't draw for nuts - why not try taking pictures eh? the camera uses regular film - so chill lah. once i get a fair collection of decent looking 'artsy' or just plain 'goofy' lomo pictures, i'll have them scanned and put 'em up here. something to look out for in the near or not so near future.
besides that, i've been doing standard stuff around the house, catching up with my dvds, strategising a plan of how i am going to restore the old Citroen ZX my Father has finally decided to let me use exclusively. if you haven't a clue what a ZX looks like ... click here. but what you will see upon clicking is a very nicely maintained and done up version. mine is this green. it's old and it's leaking all over the place. and the tires need replacing. the engine needs retuning. the throttle body needs cleaning and perhaps even replacing. the engine mounting needs to be looked at. there's something wrong with the wiring in connection to the radio. and of course, the speedometer needs to be replaced. right now, i can only guess how fast i've been driving.
so now you may understand why i am 'strategising'.
that's basically it. how am i feeling? - you may ask. well, kinda f**ked up. but nothing i can't handle. it's all good. i guess. could be worse. could always be worse.
so yeah. how you guys doin'?
sigining off, the commonjack.
i feel like i've been in a form of hibernation. not sure of what to do and as such i do a little bit of this and a little bit of that - just to keep me busy until hibernation period is up. i do stuff with minor goals in sight but nothing really concrete because i have no idea what i'll have to do once my results come out.
if they are good - life goes on. and i'll handle whatever that comes my way.
if they are bad - i might have to think about quitting. i might have to think of alternatives. or i may just have to go on. none of which are prospects i look forward to in any way.
for more info on what i'm talking about above...refer to past entry entitled, 'humour me'.
so what have i been doing in the past 3 months of my holidays? well, i've worked a lot. asking my manager to give me any class he needs me in. cause i'm flexible and well, work helps keeps my mind off things. also, the extra cash would come in handy.
what else, i've done more writing - as mentioned in previous entry of alone. but that has been going rather slower than i would like. i've tried writing more songs but i seem to have stumbled upon another block. i did sing more and even performed an open mic session as per my singing debut. i'm in the acting class as per the acting saga continues.
umm, i also put my effort in looking for 'voice over' gigs with relevant companies all over town. of course, from this - nothing has come to fruition.
i got a small role in a local tv drama. nothing big. but it was cool to be a part of that. check it out if you're free, it's impian illyana on NTV7 almost every other day. you can check out the local newspaper regarding when it is showing or you can click here. i should be in episodes 30 - 40. no, not all of them but 1 or 2 episodes back to back ie it could be epi34 and epi35 or the like. to be honest, i'm not sure.
i've also bought a new lomo camera. http://www.lomography.com/about/ is a site you can go to if you have no idea what a lomo camera is. i bought the lomo camera which is called the action sampler and mine has flash capabilities so that i can take pictures at night and in dark places. since i can't draw for nuts - why not try taking pictures eh? the camera uses regular film - so chill lah. once i get a fair collection of decent looking 'artsy' or just plain 'goofy' lomo pictures, i'll have them scanned and put 'em up here. something to look out for in the near or not so near future.
besides that, i've been doing standard stuff around the house, catching up with my dvds, strategising a plan of how i am going to restore the old Citroen ZX my Father has finally decided to let me use exclusively. if you haven't a clue what a ZX looks like ... click here. but what you will see upon clicking is a very nicely maintained and done up version. mine is this green. it's old and it's leaking all over the place. and the tires need replacing. the engine needs retuning. the throttle body needs cleaning and perhaps even replacing. the engine mounting needs to be looked at. there's something wrong with the wiring in connection to the radio. and of course, the speedometer needs to be replaced. right now, i can only guess how fast i've been driving.
so now you may understand why i am 'strategising'.
that's basically it. how am i feeling? - you may ask. well, kinda f**ked up. but nothing i can't handle. it's all good. i guess. could be worse. could always be worse.
so yeah. how you guys doin'?
sigining off, the commonjack.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Schweet stuff.
digressing from most of the moody stuff that i tend to write about here on this blog - i've decided this time to write about 2 conversations i've had with my Mum which i want to remember ...
1st conversation: i was about to go out and i popped into my Mum's 'office' in the house just to let her know that i was going out and as usual - don't wait up.
1st conversation: i was about to go out and i popped into my Mum's 'office' in the house just to let her know that i was going out and as usual - don't wait up.
- Mum: where you going?
- Me: i'm just going out to have some drinks with the guys lah. (and i sat down to put on my socks)
- Mum: you know...i had an odd dream last night.
- Me: uh huh...what about?
- Mum: i dreamt that i was at some mall with you and you must have been only 5 or 6. and i told you to stay put while i went away for a while. but when i turned around to look for you. i saw you walking away in the other direction and i tried calling you but you couldn't hear me. and you just kept walking. and i couldn't find you.
- Me: ...
- Mum: weird dream.
- Me: don't worry lah Mum. i won't be going anywhere anytime soon. i still need to live in your house. Heheh.
and i gave my Mum a little hug - which is very rare in this family. and i left.
2nd conversation: over dinner one night - just Mum and Me.
- Me: mum ah...i've been getting a lot of surprised and perplexed reactions from friends when i tell them that i've just been hired as a kickboxing instructor.
- Mum: yes?
- Me: no lah...i was just curious. 'cause when i told you about it. you were like , "Ok. How much will they pay you?" weren't you the least bit surprised or confused as to how after doing kickboxing for such a short while - out of the blue - i get offered a job to be an instructor?
- Mum: no.
- Me: you weren't curious at all?
- Mum: no.
- Me: why not?
- Mum: you pick things up quite quickly. you're quite talented what ... you're a natural. and you seem to be able to do so many things. so it doesn't surprise me anymore.
- Me: ...
- Mum: why? should i be surprised?
- Me: (smiles) i guess not...
- Mum: finish the food lah ... don't leave little bit of this and little bit of that ...
- Me: *sigh... ok lah Mum.
schweet innit? my Mum annoys the hell outta me sometimes. and sure she may not understand many things about me. but there are moments of 'light' ... which make up for most of it.
signing off - the commonjack.
Monday, August 01, 2005
humour me.
it's Aug! shit. reality is knocking at the door and come Sept - my holidays will be over...and then i'll have to deal with some shit. oh well...in that vein - continue reading...
X
okok - here's how its gonna work. i'm gonna give you guys, *my dear readers, a scenario. and at the end of it. i'ma gonna ask a question. if you feel like it - answer it in all honesty. there's no censoring here. and i try not to judge. so you can say anything you want. wokay? here goes...
SCENARIO:
life is going well for X. doesn't have a 1st class family. nobody really communicates. rare family meals. everyone's got their own thing. family breaks apart every now and then. but push come to shove - the family trudges along through it all.
X is a generally nice person. X could be described as a guy who's a bit of an extrovert but shy all the same. not a pure extrovert. X is far from what people would refer to as 'a social butterfly' but is outspoken in 'small doses'.
leads a rather active and diversified lifestyle in the sense that - he can find it within himself to appreaciate the finer things like art - although in a very rudimentary sense (X is not exactly one of those people you see at art galleries going, "I think this particular tree at the corner of this painting symbolises life and how it seems far away in the corner but growing strong..." etc...).
X appreciates literature and is familiar with names like Kafka, Austen, Shakespeare, Pablo Neruda, Joyce, Yeats, John Keats, etc...but also in a very rudimentary sense. X may know these names but has not read most of them and is most likely gonna face great difficulty to fully appreciate the greatness that these literary greats possess when X attempts to pick these greats up and try to read them.
but put all that arty, finer things in life aside - X is also just a regular person. for example, X likes sports. X plays everything from badminton to squash, from golf to basketball to football, from pool to snooker etc.
X enjoys having a midnight teh tarik at the mamak. X loves great food and this encompasses everything from the things you get at 5 star hotels to what you can get from hawker stalls set up on the streets or back alleys of Malaysia...
so you get the picture of what X is like - this may or may not be helpful in answering the question.
so now X is leaving school. X is not one of those people who know exactly what they want to be like a doctor, lawyer, teacher, police officer, singer, actor, barber -. but X seemed a little partial towards a degree in Mass Comm.
however, X was advised by Father and Brother that Law is a good way to go too. it's a degree that attaches with it some 'class' and prestidge. and it'd be challenging. you'd be learning something with more 'substance'. you'd be trained to think at another level. and once you graduate - you can still go into lines of work that the study of Mass Comm degree prepares you for!
(note: i am in no way putting down the course of Mass Comm and glorifying the study of Law - i'm just givin' ya a scenario. =>)
X agreed.
X did rather well in the 1st year of the study of Law. but all the while - X's heart wasn't in it. it was like studying Chemistry, Physics, Geography, Add Math in secondary school. it felt like it's just something that X needed to study and get it over with.
and with that - things just got worse in the 2nd year. subjects were 'drier' and 'bulkier' but unfortunately in no way simpler. X ended up failing the year and had to re-do it all over again.
X experienced the same problems. couldn't seem to rise above it to do well. if possible, X became even more 'dis-interested'. X began to detest Law. X got irritated easily, flustered and extremely disheartened at the fact of not being able to rise above it all to just 'do' the damn course. X knew that if X could just put in the work - X could pass and do well even. X knew it wasn't because X was stupid. X looks at some of the clowns who get through and that being the case, why can't X get through?
so X experienced moments of 'light' and felt as though it was do-able at some times. but X found that it was a difficult energy to sustain and fell short time and again. X felt like X was walking against the currents of a river and it was getting stronger and stronger the further up-river he got. and up to a certain point - X kept on getting swept back down the river only to get up and trudge along again.
X failed again.
___________________________________________________________________
now the question: X has already spent 3 years doing Law. X should be graduated by now. it's a 3 year course. but X is stuck in the 2nd year.
Would you do the year again? or Would you throw in the towel and go for another course?
neither answer will be easy. doing it again would mean going through the same shit and worse still - for the 3rd time. throwing in the towel would mean learning new subject matter right from the 1st year. and most degree courses would take another 3 to 4 years. it'd be some time before X can get out of 'student' status and join the 'rat race'. and not too mention numerous other remonstrances from family, society, himself, etc.
Note: we all know who X is - but i don't like to use names here. i'll refer to you as whatever you refer yourself to be. so like i said in the title of this entry - *humour me. :)
signing off - the commonjack.
X
okok - here's how its gonna work. i'm gonna give you guys, *my dear readers, a scenario. and at the end of it. i'ma gonna ask a question. if you feel like it - answer it in all honesty. there's no censoring here. and i try not to judge. so you can say anything you want. wokay? here goes...
SCENARIO:
life is going well for X. doesn't have a 1st class family. nobody really communicates. rare family meals. everyone's got their own thing. family breaks apart every now and then. but push come to shove - the family trudges along through it all.
X is a generally nice person. X could be described as a guy who's a bit of an extrovert but shy all the same. not a pure extrovert. X is far from what people would refer to as 'a social butterfly' but is outspoken in 'small doses'.
leads a rather active and diversified lifestyle in the sense that - he can find it within himself to appreaciate the finer things like art - although in a very rudimentary sense (X is not exactly one of those people you see at art galleries going, "I think this particular tree at the corner of this painting symbolises life and how it seems far away in the corner but growing strong..." etc...).
X appreciates literature and is familiar with names like Kafka, Austen, Shakespeare, Pablo Neruda, Joyce, Yeats, John Keats, etc...but also in a very rudimentary sense. X may know these names but has not read most of them and is most likely gonna face great difficulty to fully appreciate the greatness that these literary greats possess when X attempts to pick these greats up and try to read them.
but put all that arty, finer things in life aside - X is also just a regular person. for example, X likes sports. X plays everything from badminton to squash, from golf to basketball to football, from pool to snooker etc.
X enjoys having a midnight teh tarik at the mamak. X loves great food and this encompasses everything from the things you get at 5 star hotels to what you can get from hawker stalls set up on the streets or back alleys of Malaysia...
so you get the picture of what X is like - this may or may not be helpful in answering the question.
so now X is leaving school. X is not one of those people who know exactly what they want to be like a doctor, lawyer, teacher, police officer, singer, actor, barber -. but X seemed a little partial towards a degree in Mass Comm.
however, X was advised by Father and Brother that Law is a good way to go too. it's a degree that attaches with it some 'class' and prestidge. and it'd be challenging. you'd be learning something with more 'substance'. you'd be trained to think at another level. and once you graduate - you can still go into lines of work that the study of Mass Comm degree prepares you for!
(note: i am in no way putting down the course of Mass Comm and glorifying the study of Law - i'm just givin' ya a scenario. =>)
X agreed.
X did rather well in the 1st year of the study of Law. but all the while - X's heart wasn't in it. it was like studying Chemistry, Physics, Geography, Add Math in secondary school. it felt like it's just something that X needed to study and get it over with.
and with that - things just got worse in the 2nd year. subjects were 'drier' and 'bulkier' but unfortunately in no way simpler. X ended up failing the year and had to re-do it all over again.
X experienced the same problems. couldn't seem to rise above it to do well. if possible, X became even more 'dis-interested'. X began to detest Law. X got irritated easily, flustered and extremely disheartened at the fact of not being able to rise above it all to just 'do' the damn course. X knew that if X could just put in the work - X could pass and do well even. X knew it wasn't because X was stupid. X looks at some of the clowns who get through and that being the case, why can't X get through?
so X experienced moments of 'light' and felt as though it was do-able at some times. but X found that it was a difficult energy to sustain and fell short time and again. X felt like X was walking against the currents of a river and it was getting stronger and stronger the further up-river he got. and up to a certain point - X kept on getting swept back down the river only to get up and trudge along again.
X failed again.
___________________________________________________________________
now the question: X has already spent 3 years doing Law. X should be graduated by now. it's a 3 year course. but X is stuck in the 2nd year.
Would you do the year again? or Would you throw in the towel and go for another course?
neither answer will be easy. doing it again would mean going through the same shit and worse still - for the 3rd time. throwing in the towel would mean learning new subject matter right from the 1st year. and most degree courses would take another 3 to 4 years. it'd be some time before X can get out of 'student' status and join the 'rat race'. and not too mention numerous other remonstrances from family, society, himself, etc.
Note: we all know who X is - but i don't like to use names here. i'll refer to you as whatever you refer yourself to be. so like i said in the title of this entry - *humour me. :)
signing off - the commonjack.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
happy birthday to me!
advertising one's birthday is something i've always considered shameful and unnecessary.
and i've never done it - till now of course.
what the heck eh?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY (beat) to ME!
WOO HoO!
*clap *clap * clap
fuuuuhhhh... (blows out imaginary candles...)
p/s: click on *HAPPY BIRTHDAY to learn 150 ways to say "happy b'day!"
and i've never done it - till now of course.
what the heck eh?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY (beat) to ME!
WOO HoO!
*clap *clap * clap
fuuuuhhhh... (blows out imaginary candles...)
p/s: click on *HAPPY BIRTHDAY to learn 150 ways to say "happy b'day!"
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
alone.
this is an extension of 'the trick is...'
the trick is 'not to forget how to be with other people'.
i think i've lost sight of that.
X
in lieu of that, it seems i'm getting better at being alone. it wasn't as hard as i thought it'd be. all i had to do was not call people i didn't really want to call. and since all the people i really wanted to hang with are either busy with work most of the time or out of the country or didn't really wanna hang with me - i ended up almost not calling anyone at all.
let's view the *damage:-
it didn't improve my sleeping habits, i still stayed awake till the wee hours in the morning and only waking up at 10am, 11am or 12pm - sometimes even sleeping right through to 1 or 2 pm. which is actually something i wanted to change.
i grew accustomed to locking myself up in my room. cutting contact with people who are in the house even (*that is - when there's anyone at home to cut myself from lah ... which is not a common occurrence a majority of the time). but that being the case, i stopped myself from watching too much tv and got down to do more writing. but even then - the writing seems to be going *slower than i would like.
i really can't think of anything else. i guess the important question would be, "am i a stronger person now?" - which was the primary intention of the whole exercise ie to 'master the art of being alone so that i wouldn't need to depend on anyone else'.
it feels like a loaded question. and the only fair answer i can come up with currently is "i don't know".
my b'day is coming up - this is not a good frame of mind to celebrate in - better snap out of it.
later then.
the trick is 'not to forget how to be with other people'.
i think i've lost sight of that.
X
in lieu of that, it seems i'm getting better at being alone. it wasn't as hard as i thought it'd be. all i had to do was not call people i didn't really want to call. and since all the people i really wanted to hang with are either busy with work most of the time or out of the country or didn't really wanna hang with me - i ended up almost not calling anyone at all.
let's view the *damage:-
it didn't improve my sleeping habits, i still stayed awake till the wee hours in the morning and only waking up at 10am, 11am or 12pm - sometimes even sleeping right through to 1 or 2 pm. which is actually something i wanted to change.
i grew accustomed to locking myself up in my room. cutting contact with people who are in the house even (*that is - when there's anyone at home to cut myself from lah ... which is not a common occurrence a majority of the time). but that being the case, i stopped myself from watching too much tv and got down to do more writing. but even then - the writing seems to be going *slower than i would like.
i really can't think of anything else. i guess the important question would be, "am i a stronger person now?" - which was the primary intention of the whole exercise ie to 'master the art of being alone so that i wouldn't need to depend on anyone else'.
it feels like a loaded question. and the only fair answer i can come up with currently is "i don't know".
my b'day is coming up - this is not a good frame of mind to celebrate in - better snap out of it.
later then.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Fear 2
someone quite important to me has recently brought to life one my own 'fear'.
i was called a 'fake' which is akin to being called a 'fraud' which is the 'fear' i speak of in one of my very 1st blog entries here ...
so - that pretty much f**ks me up for the rest of this month. and probably for a while...but oh well...can't let people know that it's actually f**ked me up. must go on - business as usual style...
'nuff said.
i was called a 'fake' which is akin to being called a 'fraud' which is the 'fear' i speak of in one of my very 1st blog entries here ...
so - that pretty much f**ks me up for the rest of this month. and probably for a while...but oh well...can't let people know that it's actually f**ked me up. must go on - business as usual style...
'nuff said.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Always something...
you are never perfect. you could be too pretty, too ugly, too nice, too mean, too fat, too thin, too f**king f**ked up to know any better.
so how?
there's always something wrong. always... if you have the ability to step outside yourself just for a moment and take a look at the same f**king situation from a whole other perspective - then you should be down on your knees thanking God for such a talent. and even better if you complement that particular talent with the ability to then appreciate what you have and not get too f**ked up about it. this would just be an added bonus - cause lets face it, its hard enough to practice the former without having to worry about the latter later.
you do something. you f**k up. it's ok - you try again. and if its what you believe you're meant to do - by all means even if you f**k up again - please do try again. it's your right to do it.
that's the way it should work innit? but life of course isn't that simple. there are soooo many things that one has to consider. so we are all made to suffer for life's complications. perhaps life wouldn't be appreciated if it wasn't so hard...
X
so i get told every now and again that i'm wasting my time...doing the things that i do. i get told that i can never be good at the things that i do. i am led to believe in nice words that go around the bush ever so slightly that i am not 'forced' to do anything that i don't want to do and that i am essentially free to do anything i want to do.
so how?
on one hand, i think that i am right in doing what i do. on the other hand, i suppose what i'm being told makes a lot of sense and that i am stupid and foolish and 'every other synonym to the words stupid and foolish' for doing the things that i do. so in the end i'm left here not knowing wtf to do...
so how?
things fall apart. things will break. things generally don't work out. and then some things can be put back together. some things could generally fall into place when you least expect it. trudat. some friends come and go and some friends stay - no matter what happens. you are born into the family that you have; there's no choice there. some families are happy and some are not and there are a variety of reasons for everything.
so how?
so...there's always something...
so how?
so how?
there's always something wrong. always... if you have the ability to step outside yourself just for a moment and take a look at the same f**king situation from a whole other perspective - then you should be down on your knees thanking God for such a talent. and even better if you complement that particular talent with the ability to then appreciate what you have and not get too f**ked up about it. this would just be an added bonus - cause lets face it, its hard enough to practice the former without having to worry about the latter later.
you do something. you f**k up. it's ok - you try again. and if its what you believe you're meant to do - by all means even if you f**k up again - please do try again. it's your right to do it.
that's the way it should work innit? but life of course isn't that simple. there are soooo many things that one has to consider. so we are all made to suffer for life's complications. perhaps life wouldn't be appreciated if it wasn't so hard...
X
so i get told every now and again that i'm wasting my time...doing the things that i do. i get told that i can never be good at the things that i do. i am led to believe in nice words that go around the bush ever so slightly that i am not 'forced' to do anything that i don't want to do and that i am essentially free to do anything i want to do.
so how?
on one hand, i think that i am right in doing what i do. on the other hand, i suppose what i'm being told makes a lot of sense and that i am stupid and foolish and 'every other synonym to the words stupid and foolish' for doing the things that i do. so in the end i'm left here not knowing wtf to do...
so how?
things fall apart. things will break. things generally don't work out. and then some things can be put back together. some things could generally fall into place when you least expect it. trudat. some friends come and go and some friends stay - no matter what happens. you are born into the family that you have; there's no choice there. some families are happy and some are not and there are a variety of reasons for everything.
so how?
so...there's always something...
so how?
Monday, July 11, 2005
the acting saga continues.
for those who give a damn lah - this is just an update on what i'm doing...
the acting saga continues ... if you've been keeping in touch with me - you'd probably realise that i've been in and out of 'acting workshops' since i was out of school. but of course - many of you don't know whether i've been in actual plays or mere acting workshop plays...
just to set the record straight:-
2002: i was in an 'acting workshop for beginners' under Christopher Ling in Actors Studio - the end of the workshop culminated in the whole group performing a series of 'Politically Correct bedtime stories'. if you attended this one which was held in Actors Studio when it was still based at Dataran Merdeka - and just to jog your memory - i did the story of "the 3 co-dependent goats gruff".
2003: i did the 'acting workshop for intermediates' under Christopher Ling again in Actors Studio. we did this really 'gila' play called "heart's desire". this was done during the earlier part of the year - before july if i'm not mistaken - heck, even i can't really remember. what i do remember was that it was a chaotic play - and the 'few' of 'my friends' who came to watch it would probably remember that it didn't make much sense.
and if i haven't admitted to you guys already - it didn't make sense because 'we ie the actors' f**ked up. we forgot scenes. and as a result we had to reverse back a few scenes just to play the scenes properly again. we forgot lines. sometimes all the actors forgot which scene we were supposed to be doing and every actor seemed to be doing a different scene all at the same time! which kinda led to even more confusion. you may not have noticed it - but i was getting increasingly frustrated with each passing scene! how we managed to bring it home and end the play in a 'somewhat' legible manner will be a feat i'll never be able to emulate and hope will never have to attempt ever again!
later part of 2003: i got into my first ever proper production ie it wasn't just a 'workshop' performance. it was called "Harakiri". this was a production by Chakra Works - with whom i will always remember for giving me my first ever break. they took a chance on an entire cast of 'newbies' and for that i will always respect them as well. and they went full-scale by staging at Actors Studio, Bangsar giving us full publicity by holding press-interviews, they lined up radio interviews and some tv interviews as well. they didn't give us a half-assed attitude just 'cause we weren't famous. it was lovely.
even though, they managed to make a small profit - admittedly, the play didn't really make 'it' cause of all sorts of factors lah. it could have been because none of the cast were 'famous', we might not even have been 'that good'. the fact that the play was one that was 'absurd-ish' ie there are scenes where i fall off a building and then get blown back in by a 'strong gust of wind'. it was also bi-lingual and most of my lines were in Malay rather than English and some people thought i didn't play it too well and yet there were others who thought i was Malay! go figure...
end of 2004: i joined VTC - which has now gone defunct. it was nothing short of lots of ups and downs but it was fun. since it isn't necessarily *over yet...i shan't comment further. :)
July 3rd 2005: this is my latest endeavour in my 'acting saga' - i've joined Joe Hasham's acting class - in my attempt to get into the 'closed circles' of theater in Malaysia. it's being held in KLPAC which i think is an amazing place. i never thought there'd be a venue of this magnitude solely dedicated to 'theater' in almost every form from art to dancing to acting and etc so soon. the fact that there is such a place has strengthened my resolve to try harder to get into the 'acting theater' circles. i'll give it a few more years and as i like to say sometimes, "see how lah".
thus far, it's going well - i've only had 2 classes and Joe has said some really promising things about me (which was one of my goals ie to get someone like Joe - who for those of you who are not in the *know - happens to be akin to a mainstream bigtime director in hollywood for the Malaysian theater scene - meaning to say: if i get into his good books and move up the list - i may get more calls for more plays in the future! rather than struggling to get someone to notice me by going for endless auditions!).
X
thus - my acting saga continues...
the acting saga continues ... if you've been keeping in touch with me - you'd probably realise that i've been in and out of 'acting workshops' since i was out of school. but of course - many of you don't know whether i've been in actual plays or mere acting workshop plays...
just to set the record straight:-
2002: i was in an 'acting workshop for beginners' under Christopher Ling in Actors Studio - the end of the workshop culminated in the whole group performing a series of 'Politically Correct bedtime stories'. if you attended this one which was held in Actors Studio when it was still based at Dataran Merdeka - and just to jog your memory - i did the story of "the 3 co-dependent goats gruff".
2003: i did the 'acting workshop for intermediates' under Christopher Ling again in Actors Studio. we did this really 'gila' play called "heart's desire". this was done during the earlier part of the year - before july if i'm not mistaken - heck, even i can't really remember. what i do remember was that it was a chaotic play - and the 'few' of 'my friends' who came to watch it would probably remember that it didn't make much sense.
and if i haven't admitted to you guys already - it didn't make sense because 'we ie the actors' f**ked up. we forgot scenes. and as a result we had to reverse back a few scenes just to play the scenes properly again. we forgot lines. sometimes all the actors forgot which scene we were supposed to be doing and every actor seemed to be doing a different scene all at the same time! which kinda led to even more confusion. you may not have noticed it - but i was getting increasingly frustrated with each passing scene! how we managed to bring it home and end the play in a 'somewhat' legible manner will be a feat i'll never be able to emulate and hope will never have to attempt ever again!
later part of 2003: i got into my first ever proper production ie it wasn't just a 'workshop' performance. it was called "Harakiri". this was a production by Chakra Works - with whom i will always remember for giving me my first ever break. they took a chance on an entire cast of 'newbies' and for that i will always respect them as well. and they went full-scale by staging at Actors Studio, Bangsar giving us full publicity by holding press-interviews, they lined up radio interviews and some tv interviews as well. they didn't give us a half-assed attitude just 'cause we weren't famous. it was lovely.
even though, they managed to make a small profit - admittedly, the play didn't really make 'it' cause of all sorts of factors lah. it could have been because none of the cast were 'famous', we might not even have been 'that good'. the fact that the play was one that was 'absurd-ish' ie there are scenes where i fall off a building and then get blown back in by a 'strong gust of wind'. it was also bi-lingual and most of my lines were in Malay rather than English and some people thought i didn't play it too well and yet there were others who thought i was Malay! go figure...
end of 2004: i joined VTC - which has now gone defunct. it was nothing short of lots of ups and downs but it was fun. since it isn't necessarily *over yet...i shan't comment further. :)
July 3rd 2005: this is my latest endeavour in my 'acting saga' - i've joined Joe Hasham's acting class - in my attempt to get into the 'closed circles' of theater in Malaysia. it's being held in KLPAC which i think is an amazing place. i never thought there'd be a venue of this magnitude solely dedicated to 'theater' in almost every form from art to dancing to acting and etc so soon. the fact that there is such a place has strengthened my resolve to try harder to get into the 'acting theater' circles. i'll give it a few more years and as i like to say sometimes, "see how lah".
thus far, it's going well - i've only had 2 classes and Joe has said some really promising things about me (which was one of my goals ie to get someone like Joe - who for those of you who are not in the *know - happens to be akin to a mainstream bigtime director in hollywood for the Malaysian theater scene - meaning to say: if i get into his good books and move up the list - i may get more calls for more plays in the future! rather than struggling to get someone to notice me by going for endless auditions!).
X
thus - my acting saga continues...
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
my singing debut.
for those of you who wanna know... here's how my singing debut went. just my guitar and me...
X
Doppelganger Open Mic.Open Stage will be presenting 18 artistes in one evening on Sunday, 3 July 2005 at the room upstairs at La Bodega's KL outlet on Tengkat Tong Shin in Bukit Bintang.
The new Doppelganger Open Mic.Open Stage nights are all about showcasing an eclectic range of performers which could include cabaret acts, poets, dancers, performance artists, singers, musicians and other uncategorisable emerging talents looking for an outlet.
Held the first Sunday of every month, the line-up for July's Doppelganger Open Mic.Open Stage main act features vocalist, AD on minus one. Accompanying acts include singer/songwriters Izzy, Jasemaine and *The CommonJack. The July gig will also present readings of original material by author Beth Yahp and 13 other writers. Especially for Doppelganger and Troubadours nights, happy hour prices apply for customers all night long, with a special RM20++ tapas menu for two. The organisers would like to thank La Bodega for their support and encouragement.
X
*Insert my Name there.
anyway, so i finally did it. i sang at an open mic session. i was insanely nervous. some people could tell and some couldn't. among some of the comments i received that night were:
"...good strumming dude..."
"...your strumming too aggressive and loud..."
"...next time, you should use a pick..."
"...great singing, you didn't sound nervous at all..."
"...your voice seems quite suitable for some contry/western songs..."
"...etc..."
i did 2 songs - Matchbox 20's 3am and one of my own compositions entitled If I could, I would. i got there relatively early - 6.30 ish pm. the session itself was held on the upper floor of the 2 floors La Bodega establishment. so i went upstairs, as instructed by the organiser, Jasmine Low aka Jas. it was empty - and i tuned my guitar and just sat down by myself sms-ing people and receiving calls - directing people how to get to the said venue.
as the room started filling out - i mingled and chatted with whoever showed up. and when my own friends showed up (THANKS People!) - i mingled with 'em.
singing is just a whole different deal compared to public speaking or acting man...the latter i can handle and have handled many times before. granted i always get slightly jittery with some butterflies in my stomach every time but it's a 'jittery' that i can deal with.
however, the butterflies i had before i had to sing were a whole other species of butterfly. i guess it's just that i've never sung in public before. before Jas introduced me, she actually asked me to tell her a little bit about myself - and when i said there's nothing much to say besides this being my first time ever - singing in a public place to a real 'public' ie a crowd with real strangers...Jas had a shocked expression on her face! i think she thought this was something i generally did. poor woman.
i guess singing is quite personal - its my voice, my words, my song. maybe that's why i was more nervous. with acting - i act as someone else - its an excuse to do anything i want, "...cause i was acting mar...". with public speaking or whatever, "...i have to do this. i'm giving a speech. i have something to say...".
although, she did say she wanted me to come back again if i wanted to. LOL.
i just might. we'll see lah.
there should be another one next month on the 1st Sunday.
till then - ... .
p/s: i got to talking to the writers too - next year i might even join a *writing class. aih, me and my multi-faceted life.
X
Doppelganger Open Mic.Open Stage will be presenting 18 artistes in one evening on Sunday, 3 July 2005 at the room upstairs at La Bodega's KL outlet on Tengkat Tong Shin in Bukit Bintang.
The new Doppelganger Open Mic.Open Stage nights are all about showcasing an eclectic range of performers which could include cabaret acts, poets, dancers, performance artists, singers, musicians and other uncategorisable emerging talents looking for an outlet.
Held the first Sunday of every month, the line-up for July's Doppelganger Open Mic.Open Stage main act features vocalist, AD on minus one. Accompanying acts include singer/songwriters Izzy, Jasemaine and *The CommonJack. The July gig will also present readings of original material by author Beth Yahp and 13 other writers. Especially for Doppelganger and Troubadours nights, happy hour prices apply for customers all night long, with a special RM20++ tapas menu for two. The organisers would like to thank La Bodega for their support and encouragement.
X
*Insert my Name there.
anyway, so i finally did it. i sang at an open mic session. i was insanely nervous. some people could tell and some couldn't. among some of the comments i received that night were:
"...good strumming dude..."
"...your strumming too aggressive and loud..."
"...next time, you should use a pick..."
"...great singing, you didn't sound nervous at all..."
"...your voice seems quite suitable for some contry/western songs..."
"...etc..."
i did 2 songs - Matchbox 20's 3am and one of my own compositions entitled If I could, I would. i got there relatively early - 6.30 ish pm. the session itself was held on the upper floor of the 2 floors La Bodega establishment. so i went upstairs, as instructed by the organiser, Jasmine Low aka Jas. it was empty - and i tuned my guitar and just sat down by myself sms-ing people and receiving calls - directing people how to get to the said venue.
as the room started filling out - i mingled and chatted with whoever showed up. and when my own friends showed up (THANKS People!) - i mingled with 'em.
singing is just a whole different deal compared to public speaking or acting man...the latter i can handle and have handled many times before. granted i always get slightly jittery with some butterflies in my stomach every time but it's a 'jittery' that i can deal with.
however, the butterflies i had before i had to sing were a whole other species of butterfly. i guess it's just that i've never sung in public before. before Jas introduced me, she actually asked me to tell her a little bit about myself - and when i said there's nothing much to say besides this being my first time ever - singing in a public place to a real 'public' ie a crowd with real strangers...Jas had a shocked expression on her face! i think she thought this was something i generally did. poor woman.
i guess singing is quite personal - its my voice, my words, my song. maybe that's why i was more nervous. with acting - i act as someone else - its an excuse to do anything i want, "...cause i was acting mar...". with public speaking or whatever, "...i have to do this. i'm giving a speech. i have something to say...".
although, she did say she wanted me to come back again if i wanted to. LOL.
i just might. we'll see lah.
there should be another one next month on the 1st Sunday.
till then - ... .
p/s: i got to talking to the writers too - next year i might even join a *writing class. aih, me and my multi-faceted life.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
what if...
what if, being yourself - is not enough?
there's a whole romantic/bohemian notion about the only true link to happiness is to be yourself. accept yourself for what you are - and all will be good.
i s'pose the other maxim that conflicts with that would be, "not to settle for 2nd best".
what if being yourself is merely settling? some people suffer their whole lives because they refuse to 'settle' and keep trying to change themselves - and in the same vein, they just end denying themselves.
but i guess it's about changing yourself till you find 'yourself'. but some people just don't realise that they've found themselves. *there's a thought.
however, doesn't that bring us back to the 1st question? ie what if being yourself is not enough?
2nd question, 'not enough' for who? yourself or somebody else? if its the latter - as italian mobsters say - 'fogget about it...' but if its the former, then there's a serious problem.
the apparent answer is supposed to be that, it'll eventually work out in the end. the fatalist would say 'what if it never works out?'
it's pointless to carry on a conversation with a fatalist.
call me the bohemian / romantic type of person, cause if i became a fatalist - life would be way too long...
'nuff said.
there's a whole romantic/bohemian notion about the only true link to happiness is to be yourself. accept yourself for what you are - and all will be good.
i s'pose the other maxim that conflicts with that would be, "not to settle for 2nd best".
what if being yourself is merely settling? some people suffer their whole lives because they refuse to 'settle' and keep trying to change themselves - and in the same vein, they just end denying themselves.
but i guess it's about changing yourself till you find 'yourself'. but some people just don't realise that they've found themselves. *there's a thought.
however, doesn't that bring us back to the 1st question? ie what if being yourself is not enough?
2nd question, 'not enough' for who? yourself or somebody else? if its the latter - as italian mobsters say - 'fogget about it...' but if its the former, then there's a serious problem.
the apparent answer is supposed to be that, it'll eventually work out in the end. the fatalist would say 'what if it never works out?'
it's pointless to carry on a conversation with a fatalist.
call me the bohemian / romantic type of person, cause if i became a fatalist - life would be way too long...
'nuff said.
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