Alexander C has left the country.

it's 2.25 am.

and so it comes to pass that Alexander C aka Alex aka the cutest baby in the world (beat) has left the country.

i've been so preoccupied with my own shit - i totally forgot about it.

i knew that my brother wanted to ship his baby(& wife of course) off to live with him in Singapore some time soon. and i even made a mental note of the date. so when i came home for dinner today to see my brother, his wife & baby Alex - i didn't realise that the occasion was to bid farewell (in a sense). i mean, it's not like i'll never see baby Alex again - since my brother does intend to eventually return here...but you know...this is long term. they're gonna be there for a while...and we're talking in terms of 'years' here...oh well...

the fact is, i've grown more attached to the little bugger than i knew. i mean check it out - this kid is the 1st of the next generation of my family. should the rest of us in the family never pro-create and just die - this kid will be the only proof to existence that we once walked the earth and had lives. real ones.

that's quite a big deal.

so much so that i feel the phrase, "i'm his uncle" or "he's my nephew", really doesn't cut it. these phrases mean so much more than they seem to connote.

maybe it's because i'm in such a 'fragile' state right now (because of all the shit i'm going through) - and call me a wuss if you wanna - when i realised that i would no longer have the luxury of just walking over to see little Alex anymore - i felt a shiver down my spine*. if i was any weaker than i am, i might have shed a tear or 2.
*you know that shiver you feel in your spine right before you feel like crying - when the tears are kinda building up? that's the shiver i am referring to.

now, i'd have to check my schedule, get my passport, get a bus ticket from pudu, take a 4 to 5 hour bus ride - go to another country OR just wait till my parents decide to drive down - if i want to see little Alex.

on MARCH 4th, little Alex will be celebrating his 1st year on earth. and as much as i'd like to go down and celebrate it with him - i don't think i'd be able to. he's just started showing signs of wanting to walk. i've seen him take 4 to 5 baby steps at most before collapsing. :) it looks like i'll most certainly not be around to see him walk around proper.

oh well - i guess that just means i have more of an excuse to get out of the house and country now.

i'll see you seen Alex.

signing off, the common jack.