the chaos in the picture below reminds me of how i feel when i scare myself.
there are times when i get so angry that i just don't give a f**k about anything. at times like that, i couldn't care less about whether relationships amongst members of my family are getting worse or not. i couldn't give 2 shits about whether or not i can catch up with my law studies. i don't care about people around me. i feel like running till my legs can't take another step. i want to just beat the shit out of a 'punching bag'. or i just end up zoning out in front of the tv. at times like that ... i don't care about anything.
when i reach that point...i have to consciously catch myself and tell myself, "What the f**k man? Cool it. Calm the f**k down." and that's when i start wondering what kinda person i'm becoming...
i'm becoming that 'angry 20-something year old' that i despise. the kinda guy that walks around with so much anger in his heart - he doesn't know what to do with himself. and then i catch myself.
so i guess then there's hope for me right? 'cause i catch myself everytime. i fear the day i forget to catch myself and let myself indulge with the feeling for too long that i forget how to get out of it.
sometimes i scare myself.
signing off...the commonjack.
No comments:
Post a Comment