Mortality.

according to dictionary.com - mortality is "the quality or condition of being mortal".

i come from a family in which i am 13 years and 10 years younger than my 2 other elder siblings. unlike most of my friends, my parents are not merely in their 50's - but are now well on their way into mid 60's. its scares me a little to think that when i arrive at my 30's like my brothers, i will not have the benefit of my parents being as 'keen' and 'alert' as they are now.

when i arrive at my 30's - which would be a solid 10 years from now - my parents would be in their 70's.

i'm not too sure but isn't the average life expectancy up to about 70-ish?

my brothers - in their 30's currently have only just begun their journey into the next phase of life...my eldest brother has started his own family. with one wife, one kid and another one on the way. methinks my 2nd brother has also begun to leave his 'playboy' days and is now properly looking. both of them already having a rather steady career path to trod along on - having their own homes...etc...

it's a little disconcerting to imagine myself being at that stage of my life later on - but without my parents around.

X

on a separate train of thought...

these days, i can see changes in the older generation of my family. people like my 'Ah Pak' ie my eldest uncle - my father's brother. there has been so much change in him. he used to be the guy in charge. he was the guy who would organise and get things going. from our 'cheng beng - where we go visit our ancestors graves and clean them and pay respect to their memory' to little dinners throughout the year. in a span of a mere 3 years, he now can barely stay awake if he is seated for too long. he can barely even walk up a small little hill at times without losing his balance.

another uncle of mine, on my father's side as well - 'Sei Pak' which basically means 4th uncle. he is a self made man. he started his own business and made his millions. always ready with something intelligent to say and would shoot down the brightest of scholars in a heartbeat because of his years of experience. age has slowed him down a lot. especially when it resulted in a fall which led to an operation to deal with a blood clot in his brain. after the operation - he is now almost like a child. it is quite sad.

basically - i can see a similar trait in all the men of my family regardless of generation. we are all very headstrong and strongwilled which can come across as just mere stubborness. we have a lot of pride in ourselves which allows us to carry ourselves with class and dignity which can also come across as stubborness.

one trait i find utterly similar in my father and his two brothers is the fact that they all have their pride and firmly believe that to be a leader of their own families, they have to be hard men. in the case of my uncles, i perceive them to be rather too hard on their children which to me - only makes it look as if they have very little faith in their own children.

that is the only difference between my father and his 2 brothers, he affords us more faith.

now that the tables are turned on my uncles ie the fact that they are no longer able to be in 'control' and order their children around - their children have taken over and seem to be 'ordering' him around instead. and its pitiful to see that because - my uncles don't seem to be treated with 'fatherly respect' right now.

i hope when the tables are turned on my own dad, my brothers and i will not do the same. hopefully, we will treat him with the 'fatherly respect' he deserves ... if only because unlike my 2 other uncles, he afforded in us more faith.